Parody of Get Carter... (spoilers)

Ok let me get it straight:

A: Carter you suddenly appeared on funeral, why?
Caret: oh i see some bad guys that's why i am here
A: Bad guys, are you out of your mind? this is a funeral
Carter: anyhow i know everyone even if i am back after 20years
A: Get the hell out of here and leave me alone
Carter: Hey Geraldine you are looking sexy, do we know each other
B: Carter go get some life
Carter: Ok i just came to see some bad guys
C: Uncle carter, my dad was not a criminal
Carter: Yea i know, but i smell a conspiracy
A: Carter he is dead, anything won't bring him back
Carter: I don't care i feel there are bad guys around
A: How you know they are bad guys
Carter: Because they are watching me like i stole their eggs
B: Please don't come back to me again n again, i don't feel comfortable seeing you
Carter: Hey A, Geraldine is not comfortable watching me, see i told you bad guys are around
A: Are you nuts, there is no bad guys, he died, end of story
Carter: No, i have guns and i know he was murdered
C: Uncle carter, i feel my dad was murdered
Carter: Oh my god, see i felt true, Hey A, C also feels the same
A: Get the hell out of my home, some people broke into my home last night.
Carter: See i told you, there are bad guys around. I don't believe no one worries about my words
D: Hey carter, if i see you around anymore, i will cut you into pieces. I am a big man now, i make money and i play around with chicks.
Carter: I smell conspiracy even in your making money and playing with chicks
E: Hey MR. Carter, i can help you but don't come back at me
Carter: if i found you the accused, i will push my pipe in you
D: ohh it sounds cheap
Carter: Don't try to lure me, i am trying to find the bad guys
D: ok, and who are the bad guys
Carter: I don't know, that's why i am here
A: Carter he is dead, leave us alone.
Carter: Hey A, i have guns, i am still muscular so i can beat some bad guys

Moral of story: Carter has guns and he wants some action - aimlessly.