Things We Learned From Watching Coyote Ugly
1. A Ford Mustang is a great substitute for a moving van.
2. The best place to record music is on your roof.
3. Sadly, what with the advances in technology, record labels shun demos on cassette tapes.
4. The best way to overcome stage fright is to turn the lights off.
5. In real life, Violet's sh!thole NYC apartment would probably run at least $1000 a month.
6. Tyra Banks can pour some ketchup.
7. You can hang a 180 on the NJ Turnpike and not get killed.
8. You can run across six toll lanes on the NJ Turnpike and not get killed.
9. Don't go to Coyote Ugly if you have a ponytail.
10. When properly executed, karaoke can stop a bar fight.
11. The one thing worse than your boyfriend catching you dancing on a bar is your father catching you.
12. Your dreams of becoming a dancer will be shattered once you break your big toe.
13. New Jersey pizza is not quite the same as New York pizza.
14. Apparently, you can't be friends with your boss.
15. Keep an eye on your spit bottle.
16. Don't grab Rachel's ass.
17. If your daughter tells you to stop eating fast food, you really should listen to her.
18. The wall at the pizzeria is jinxed.
19. Obnoxious male audience members who heckle stage performers have, 9 out of 10 times, never been on a stage before themselves.
20. Piedmont, North Dakota and South Amboy, New Jersey is the same thing.
21. You can have it any way you like, as long as it's in a shot glass.
22. Buy the Unrated DVD if you can't get enough Piper-In-Her-Underwear.
23. No dates in the kitchen.
24. Cammie has a serious shopping problem.
25. Every man wants breakfast at 3:30 in the morning.
26. Violet may not be the best bartender, but she can sure break up bar fights faster than the bouncer can.
27. Rachel's anger management classes are not working.
28. Women will pay John Goodman to put his clothes back on.
29. Collecting comic books is cute.
30. When you've realized that all your dreams have come true, it's time to start paying back old debts.