Ellen Burstyn was superb in Requiem but Hollywood has seen amazing work from her over the years. And Requiem is the kind of movie that would have made a lot of older Academy voters uncomfortable - so I doubt it ever had a chance. EB was something they could all feel good about.
Julia was a lot better in EB than in Pretty Woman. She's always been an excellent actress, but she makes it all look easy and that's probably why she's often under-rated. But like with a lot of star actors she's often allowed to do more in a scene than necessary - the overcuteness, etc. That's the director's fault.
I think the EB win is the kind of situation Hollywood prays for every year - a terrific performance by a huge star in a really good movie with a "worthy" subject that's also made money. And since this once common occurrence has now become a rare phenomenon, I think Hollywood is so grateful when it happens that they lose it and cluck hysterically over said star like a bunch of headless chickens. Bottomline, we've gotten too used to lauding films and performances based on their risk factor and edginess. It doesn't mean great mainstream films & performances should get shut out. Julia Roberts' win is in the tradition of some of the most popular and worthy wins in Oscar history....and sometimes, that's ok.
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