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Too happy ending...not reality for 95 percent

posted 19 years ago by lauren7312
9 replies | jump to latest

For most people, one rehab does not work, and yes for millions of others the 12 steps of AA don't stick. (95 percent failure rate for most rehabs and 90 percent or more for AA) It is my personal opionion, and yes this is just my opinion, that you have to get to the reasons BEHIND your drinking and drugging. Because once serious consequences start entering the picture and you are still using, it's no longer fun. You are just trying to keep yourself "maintained" and it has become a way of coping.

Personally, I can't stand AA. I find meetings seriously depressing. For myself, seeing a therapist and replacing "partying" with healthy activities works for me. When I feel down or feel like using, I immediately get out of the house, work out, go for a walk, or do ANYTHING but use.

I went to meetings for years off and on until I figured out my own personal happines without drink and drugs is what keeps me sober. I find taking my "inventory" and confessing my sins to others (including a "sponsor" who was more screwed up than me-and was on a serious power trip) to just be depressing-and when I did this- I wanted nothing more than to drink MORE. Why live in the past and go back over all the stupid things you did while drunk or high? Also, this so called sponsor, who was a virtual stranger to me, decided she needed to tell me EXACTLY how to live my life- from when I went to bed to when I got up in the morning, to what job I took- HA! I have a college education and she is waitressing. She told me to get humble. Well, sorry for having dreams and goals beyond waiting tables (and she has been doing this for two years now that she has been sober.) It's just very hard for me to take advice from people I really do not look up to and probably would never be friends with to begin with.

Like I said you HAVE TO PAVE YOUR OWN PATH. And if you are a young person, good luck finding young people in the program that have stayed sober longer than a year or two.

[–] kandieiceapple 19 years ago

I understand the 'statistics' besides just being a movie they are people who just make it. I used to be on coke- bad. I didn't go to rehab, and I got over my addiction. It took awhile. I know the odds were aganist me, but I had my son to help me. Sometimes people see things that they didn't see before, and I think the counselor helped her. Where did you get that figure anyway?

~*~Kandie

[–] lauren7312 19 years ago

I got it at a rehab I was in and also from other AAers at 12 step meetings. It is the unfortunate truth for so many addicts and alcoholics who just never seem to find their way out of the hell of addiction. I have to admit, I was a little hard on AA. For some, it really does work, but you have to WANT it. Being court ordered does little unless you are really wanting your sobriety.

[–] SCraigNZ 18 years ago

I spent 4 years of marriage waiting for my now ex-husband to "get it" and stay clean and sober... I still love him and I'm probably still waiting in the hope that he'll escape his personal hell and find his way back to me but the bottom line is that he's got to WANT it! The people I know from NA and AA who have long time sobrierty WANT IT! "Prepared to go to any lengths" and so forth...

Here where I live there is no alternative to the 12 step thing and I have seen it work for many who are now happy, clean and sober BUT I know that there is a good chance my boy will be one of that unfortunate 95%, especially now that he's hooked up with a woman who's quite happy to let him drink and stay active in his addiction regardless of the fact that it's slowly killing him.

Addiction is something I would not wish on my worst enemy!

"I'd rather have 3 minutes of wonderful than a whole life time of nothing special".....

[–] nicole3699 18 years ago

I agree totally. AA meetings are depressing. It always consists of people telling all the mistakes and problems that they made as a result of drinking.Who needs that?

[–] pluto-11 18 years ago

Man, you folks go to the wrong meetings! I don't know about where you live, but here in Portland, Oregon there are so many different types of meetings. Yes, there can be some depressing moments, but others are very uplifting.

To the OP, I am glad you are sober and all that - and I'm sorry you didn't have a good experience with AA, but I didn't really see you offer any alternative to folks out there. Also, sounds like you had a sponsor that wasn't for you - some folks need a hands on sponsor that holds their hand each step of the way, others prefer a concerned friend type, others prefer someone just to gossip with. The key is, for me anyway, is to have someone who gives a crap whether you use or not and won't care if you call at 1am when you are crawling out of your skin. Anyway, for me AA and Smart were the only things that worked for me - and I don't know what the numbers are (so many people go to AA by court order), but I think the 12 steps work if you want them to. Also, the goal of the 12 steps is to *not* relive the past but to set it free so that you aren't agonizing over crap you pulled. Guilt and shame are major reasons for using.

[–] breno_bacci 18 years ago

ok... the movie is just showing up on tv right now and I'm glad I've got my internet connection back so I won't have to watch it...

just got my coke, marlboro and coca-cola to write you my opinion about the movie and addiction...

first of all, I think it's dumb and extremely comfortable to blame substances for our stupidity... or to throw the responsibility for our lack of happiness over a commercial - illicit or not - product and the ones who sell it...

I think AA, NA and rehabs are good for people that do not want to face the fact that noone's forcing them to be addicted to something... seriously, I have nothing against them... people get addicted to rehab exactly the same way they do for tv, internet, sex, gambling... or drugs... the fact is that global society is nothing but perfect.. any human being that uses its brain a little bit gets mad with it sometimes... and anyone who naturally wants to move on, to keep living, to survive... needs something to get along with world's insanity...

the fact that there's a common sense (not so common, after all) that people that handle unhapiness with sports, healthy food and religion are better than the ones who deal with it using cocaine or polygamy e.g., is for me just a question of narrowmindedness and social prejudice... after all, cocaine does not kill innocent people... people commit suicide with cocaine... and some use cocaine as an excuse to become murderers, but I believe those have always been murderers, they just needed an excuse to murder...

if you do drugs or have any addiction, and you still feel unhappy, then maybe you should join a rehab...

but please! for those people who are aware of their addiction, but live normal lifes, are self-conscious of the health damage they are producing, and are happy with their way of living... LET THEM BE the way they want to... I always quit an addictive habit when I feel I'm not enjoying what I'm getting with it... but I always return to an addictive habit when I feel like it, and I just don't see myself as a bad person for that...

some people become "good" social actors when they pray... they help world's society to improve when they sing like David or kneel to Allah... some do the same when they snort a line... I think we should either allow both to do what they feel like doing, or arrest them both... it's just nonsense to me that one seems right and the other not!

[–] Miss_Alana 17 years ago

I didn't think that the film had a too happy ending. There were characters who relapsed, one girl died etc. Only the main character made it out but we only got to see the start of her sobriety journey.

[–] hppg 15 years ago

>"I didn't think that the film had a too happy ending. There were characters who relapsed, one girl died etc. Only the main character made it out but we only got to see the start of her sobriety journey."

Yeah that...

[–] 15 years ago

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