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Pretty obvious that their choices were either fight for the British or be shot on the spot.

Col. Tavington didn't know for sure that the town had been helping Benjamin Martin. He suspected they were, but didn't know for certain until the meeting. And it might not have been the whole town, just a couple of people. Had he known Martin and his men were returning soon, he would have waited for them and set up an ambush. Obviously all the town people were led to the meeting by British soldiers who would have shot them if they said no.

Since the town was helping Martin, most of the soldiers assumed Tavington would torch the town, but leave the people not directly involved in helping the rebels alive. Instead Tavington decided to burn down the church and kill everyone, including women, children and the elderly. Killing innocent civilians was not the conduct of honorable soldiers.

Yes most religions would frown upon burning down a church full of people. He was evil and wanted the huge piece of land Lord Cornwallis promised him.

Baldwin chose to throw the first torch because he knew he was going to be haunted by this act forever anyways, so he might as well have the guts to do it himself, instead of just giving the order. Killing your commanding officer is not looked upon favorably in most armies. Tavington meant that this would just be considered another act of war, and no one would ever look down upon him for doing it, or even know about it.

The windows had shutters. They put wood boards across them, and nailed them shut.