NME

PPV WWE No Mercy Extreme
JF: Here we see in the opening contest Umanga vs. Jeff Hardy for the 100th time.
(Jeff Hardy was tardy to 6 events, missed 4 house shows, and showed up drunk twice, but still won.)
BK: Wow, now we’ve got Roidtista and the Great Krappie in there.
(Of course Roidtista wins.)
JF: Now Matty Hardy in his specialty, a TLC match with Kane.
BK: Now it’s time for puppies. Oh man it’s just too bad that one of these girls will no longer be on Flaw ever again.
JF: Yes, that’s right, Burger King, because here in the WWE we honor our stipulations.
BK: Yes, when Edge defeated Matt Hardy in a loser leaves Flaw match do you really think Hardy ever set foot on Flaw ever again?
JF: Um…well yeah, he did actually.
BK: OK bad example. When Umanga defeated Kane in a…no, he came back too.
JF: When Macho Man…Um…when Ronnie Garvin…DARN!
BK: OK Foley…no. When the Alliance got beat by…oh yeah.
JF: Lita! Ahhhhhh… who are we kidding?
(The match took place. Beth Phoenix defeated Melina 1-2-3!)
BK: Melina is gone from Flaw!!!!
JF: Yeah, I guess.
BK: Up next is a family feud.
JF: HBK and Stephanie verses Shane O. Mac and Hornswoggle. Up next.
(Match ends with HBK giving Shane the stale chin music. Then Stephanie pinned Shane 1-2-3!)
BK: Stone Cold and Santino are up next.
JF: That’ll be a slobber knocker.
(In 22 seconds Santino falls to the stale stunner. Stone Cold picks up the win. The WWE Sheep go crazy as Stone Cold drinks beer.)
BK: This is so great.
JF: Up next Vinnie Mac Daddy takes on future Hall of Famer, Brutus “the Barber” Beefcake. We’re both in the Hall of Fame, Burger King, even though we’re both still active.
BK: Yeah, we still work full time for WWE so it makes no sense getting put in the Hall of Fame already.
(Mac Daddy defeats Beefcake with his feet on the rope and hooking his tights.)
JF: I don’t believe it. How disgusting! Mac Daddy is a cheater.
BK: Our fans are so outraged.
(Fans sitting silently.)
JF: Up next, the Nature Boy!
BK: Wh-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ric Flair.
JF: And he’s facing Madusa of all opponents. This will be interesting. We’ve got Flair, arguably the greatest male wrestler of the ‘80s and ‘90s and Madusa, arguably the greatest female wrestler of the ‘80s and ‘90s colliding.
BK: And we have it right here on No Mercy Extreme, the greatest Pay-Per-View event of all time, of course we say that about all of them.
(Madusa defeats Ric Flair cleanly by pin fall.)
JF: Now it’s time for our main event.
(Main event ends in a DQ…again. Fans riot, so the match is re-started. Orton got pinned instead of Zena. Cripple H is the new WWE champion and now holds all the belts.)




































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