MovieChat Forums > American Movie (2000) Discussion > Source of a million one-liners

Source of a million one-liners

posted 17 years ago by junglefighter25
70 replies | jump to latest

Oh man, legal action....

What are they gonna take, my Night of the Living Dead book?

Oh kick fu##ing ass! A MasterCard! You know, life is pretty cool sometimes.

I have really good audial senses.

It's 3 in the morning and I'm drinking peppermint schnapps and I'm trying to call the Hotel Tangiers in Casablanca, man that's no way to live your life.

Whoa! Look at your toenails, Bill! It looks like a science photo!

With Mark alvays wiss de movies.

Sorry for erasing that.

This movie is brilliant. Definetely one of the 'Lost on a desert island' top-ten movies to have.

[–] 14 years ago

[deleted]

[–] stickydisgust 14 years ago

"Hey Mike, make sure everyone has brown gloves."

"Does everyone have brown gloves?"

[–] tonyinjapan 13 years ago

Re the missing flyers...

MB: But, dude, that doesn't make any sense.
MS: Made sense to him.

[–] lnternet_explorer 13 years ago

aw man, i'm sorry i tried to put your head through this.

have faith.
faith on nothing.

he seemed like a pretty raw dog.

fine cutting...oh holleluya

[–] lunchboxattacks 12 years ago

"And uh, what is Coven?"

Mark, who is not usually the most eloquent or coherent says without a hint of hesitation responds, "Coven is a 35 minute direct-market thriller film shot on 16mm black and white reversal...."

Mark comes upon Bill sitting in an armchair in his mobile home and says, "Hey, cheer up, the world is yours!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mike Schank is the source of several one liners without even saying anything like when Mark is trying to explain why the crosses should be at a slant. The camera pans to Mike who's wearing shades but you can tell it's completely going in one ear and out the other. Mike's probably got some Zeppelin pumping in a playlist in his head.

[–] Ninerism 12 years ago

It's alrighhhhhhhht, it's okaaay.. arrr... ummmmm.

cut, take 31

Isn't that enough now?

[–] 12 years ago

[deleted]

[–] jabberwocky7575 11 years ago

Did you swear, man?

I thought you said sh!t

I got good auditory senses

If you think Pantera is good music, you married your cousin and your retarded son's name is Cletus

[–] bhkittleson 11 years ago

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!.............NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

[–] eViL_DeAdiTe_ 10 years ago

"It's strictly monitored." "Who's monitoring?"

"I thought he would become a stalker, or murderer - or do something where he would try to plan someone's death."

"Enough of that conversation."

And absolute favourite line of the whole movie...

"Two dollars plus a potato is two dollars."

[–] tbickle84 10 years ago

That was wicked, man!

[–] europa1140 10 years ago

"Hey, we're drill holes all together!"

[–] tbickle84 10 years ago

Oh, dude. You know what? I'm sorry I tried to put your head through that, man.

[–] europa1140 10 years ago

Science Class?

[–] kingkoopa77 9 years ago

I love how ridiculous Robert Richard Jorge is with his faux British accent & air of supremacy - best summed up when -

They were taking media shots for Coven (Where he took his scarf off)

Marc - "Oh dude, you just arched your eyebrow"
Robert - "Oh...shouldnt i of?"

Cracks me up everytime.

Others-

DUDE! Your foots on the gas!
Got a good taste
Would you like a peppmint schnapps? YES i would.
Sunrise to SunSET.
Im thankful coz I didnt even want to get out of bed tomorrow, then Mike comes over & puts a smile on my face...talking his S**t.

Too many to go on, brilliant excellent Documentary.

In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

[–] fellintoyourshoes 9 years ago

Mark - "You'll have something under your belt... more than whatever you have in the wash."

Mark - "Aww, dude, I'm sorry I tried to put your head through that, man. This thing'll... *beep* be able to take some *beep* - cabinet door scene

Chris Smith - "Did you tell her this?"
Mark - "Hell yeah, I told her."
CS - "And what'd she think?"
Mark - "She don't give a *beep*!"

Mark - "Whoa! That toenail's more than a quarter-inch thick!"

Mark - *beep* man, they never got along; not while I was around..." - when asked about parents

[–] TheBrianLad (36) 6 years ago

"Hey, man, how you doing? You're just sitting there, eh? Cheer up, man. The world is yours."

The reason why this is funny is because it sounds like an upbeat pep talk, but it's being said to a rather elderly man sitting alone in his trailer home.

[–] charliekelly (1018) 6 years ago

That's a great one. You're right, the context makes it. One of my all time favorite films. Ironically fellintoyourshoes was my old account. ^ Think I'll copy & paste the unedited versions. Big thanks to MC on that one.

Mark - "You'll have something under your belt... more than whatever you have in the wash."

Mark - "Aww, dude, I'm sorry I tried to put your head through that, man. This thing'll... fuckin' be able to take some shit." - cabinet door scene

Chris Smith - "Did you tell her this?"
Mark - "Hell yeah, I told her."
CS - "And what'd she think?"
Mark - "She don't give a fuck!" - about his ex-wife

Mark - "Whoa! That toenail's more than a quarter-inch thick!" - to Uncle Bill

Mark - "Shit, man, they never got along; not while I was around..." - when asked about parents

Truly is one of the funniest movies of all time.

[–] TheBrianLad (36) 6 years ago

Agree about it being one of the funniest movies of all time. I think Mike Schank, even more so than Mark, is just funny without having to try, really. Like, the combination of the abstract thoughts he has, delivered in his child-like, spaced-out, Fargo-type accent just turns almost everything he says into comedic gold. In fact, I don't know if there's a single thing he says in the film that hasn't raised a chuckle from me at one time or another.

But maybe his funniest, for me -

* Mike arrives at Mark's house for Thanksgiving dinner *

Mark (drunk with his arm around Mike ) - "What do you know that we don't?"

* smash cut to Mike alone in the basement, speaking confidentially to the camera *

"Well, I won 50 dollars on a lottery ticket, today, but I don't want those guys to know because otherwise they'll wanna borrow money from me" ( smiles mischievously )

[–] charliekelly (1018) 6 years ago

I literally laughed out loud just from reading that. I'm due for another viewing. Absolutely right about Mike. So many great moments - brown gloves, $2 + a potato, and all the acid tales, not to mention that epic hair...