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Things We Learned From Boys Don't Cry (Spoilers)

posted 13 years ago by MierdaDeToro
5 replies | jump to latest

1. Falls City isn't even on the map.

2. A four-door Chevy Nova cannot outrun a police car.

3. The best place to pick up chicks is at a rollerskating rink.

4. Flipping burgers is for squares.

5. Hilary Swank could be Ashton Kutcher's twin sister.

6. "Do you sell Ruffles?" is another way of saying, "I need to steal some tampons."

7. Lana spelled backwards is anal.

8. You don't have to be sober to weigh spinach.

9. Memphis is far.

10. Nebraskans have lifelong dreams of opening up their own trailer park.

[–] phisigcloud 12 years ago

11. A real man steals plastic rings from a gas station for his girlfriend.

12. Lana is so wasted that all she needs is a beer.

13. Lana hates her stupid house.

[–] shawneuser 12 years ago

14. If you want to fool a bunch of people into thinking you are a man, when you are actually a woman, you might NOT want those people to be a couple redneck ex-cons who will likely rape and murder you just for being homosexual let alone deceiving them.

15. Women like it when they find out that their boyfriend is actually a girl.

16. Chloe Sevigny infamously will take it however she can get it.

17. If I was a woman who looked like Hilary Swank, the LAST thing I would want to be is a man.

[–] Melissax1972 12 years ago

18. Justin Beiber and Hilary Swank resemble one another
19. Vaginas are a defect
20. If your girlfriend comes to visit you, and finds you in the womans section of the prison. She will believe they just put you there because the jail was crowded.

A heart isn't judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others~The Wizard of oz

[–] tvaddiction 12 years ago

21. If you have a choice to go off into the night with a Ted Bundy trucker or a car full of felons and drunks, choose the car full of felons and drunks.

22. When you are punched in your face, miraculously little blood comes out and you don't wake up with a "shiner" the next day, just a mere paper cut below the eye. (Cheek bone cuts/scrapes bleed HUGE and bruise the face in real life).

23. Throw your tampon wrappers under your bed and no one will find out.

[–] theoriginalskinnyrinny 12 years ago

24. Joe Lewis had small hands.

25. Quick Stop employees in Nebraska aren't so great. In the span of about 10 minutes, he misses Brandon stealing several tampons and a ring. He also accepts a fake id and nearly lets a stoned Lana go off with a scary denim guy who is about to buy her beer.