Cole wasn't really vanquished as the sister may have thought. Only his physical body that occupied the identity of Balthazar that he created got destroyed at the end of that day. So when he got vanquished in the alternate reality and the spell got automatically reversed the spirit of Avatar Cole/indestructible Cole had no body to return to in the real world. He was now some sort of essence/ghost still with his powers but trapped in a plane of existence somewhere between the dead/vanquished and the living. probably similar to one of the astral planes he was in after his first vanquish. He couldn't be a vanquished demon after the spell was reversed because that reality no longer existed and his real world identity was one that couldn't be vanquished, and he couldn't return to his body because there wasn't one to return to. But obviously he's able to move between different astral planes of reality probably by using one of his many powers, the same one he used to get out of the astral plane at the end of season 4 since it was one thing he mastered doing, coupled also with being an avatars who we know also could move between and exist through time and space. We know he orchestrated the events with Drake and worked with demons to bring piper into a plane where she could see him. So we know he could appear to people and demons dead or alive. I strongly believe he decided on his own not to appear or reach out anymore to the sisters as it didn't go so well in season 5 and he knew he'd face further rejection.
Coles biggest mistake was instead of actually going back in time/reversing time to when he and phoebe were the happiest during some of those Balthazar days he decided instead to change and reshape everything and everyone around him into an alternate reality creating a world the way he wanted. And since Paige orbed out at the beginning of the spell and in after the spell, Coles spell didn't touch her.
interesting what the angel of destiny said in Witch Way Now. wondering if he was referring loosely to also what Cole would become in season 5 and not just where he was at the time in season 4. And also the fact that the avatars also said they exist beyond time and space.
Phoebe: What about Cole? Will he keep trying to make contact with me?
Angel of Destiny: I don't know, I have no control over that. He exists beyond time and space, outside destiny's reach.
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