Why does Usagi speak english?

(By the way, even the name "Usagi Yojimbo" is completely wrong, and shows that the author doesn't really understand japanese language. For details, see the end of this post. I am using the name "Usagi Yojimbo" throughout this post nevertheless, so that I can make my actual point clearer.)

I just watched the episode with the 'guest star', Usagi Yojimbo. As I can gather, he is another creature invented by the same guy who came up with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles themselves (the american with japanese parent(s) or something).

In this episode, they show Usagi through a portal, and even before Usagi appeared on the portal screen, one of the turtles remarks something about a building looking like 'ancient Japan' (as if there aren't such buildings in MODERN Japan.. anyone knowing about Japan should know that you can't judge an era very easily just by looking at a building of older architecture, because plenty of such buildings exist in Japan, and have for a very, very long time).

But because there are animals who speak, it must be a parallel/alternate dimension/universe.

So how can it even be Japan, if it's an alternate universe? Wouldn't it just be "a location that resembles certain Japanese locations in this dimension"?

(Of course it's not officially declared to BE 'ancient Japan', so we can let this one go)

My main question, however, has to do with the fact that the animals speak ENGLISH in that parallel dimension. Ok, coincidences can happen, and although it would be very unlikely for that to happen - animals living in a place that resembles 'ancient Japan' so much that the turtles, who should probably know a lot about Japan because of Splinter's roots and all, mistake the scenery for it, but speak perfect american-accented english!

The episode makes a point to tell the viewer, that it is perfectly logical for Usagi to speak english, because it's not REALLY Japan or japanese 'people' (however animal-like) they saw, but an alternate dimension.

But "easy and convenient explanation" brings a few problems.

How can Usagi Yojimbo be named "Usagi Yojimbo" (a really stupid name, if you think about it - it's like a human gardener being named "Human Gardener"), if the japanese language doesn't even exist in the parallel dimension?

And if it DOES exist, then why would it exist somewhere else, instead of the place that looks like Japan? Why would they be speaking english in 'parallel Japan', but Japanese somewhere else, and how likely would that even be?

And when Splinter stupidly translates the name (like names always have to be translated.. *groan*), Usagi doesn't say anything about it, but treats it as if he is correct.

That means that his name is not just a random, non-japanese name that just happens to seem/sound/look/feel japanese, but actually IS japanese (or the coincidence meter will explode at this point) - how else would 'Usagi Yojimbo' mean 'Rabbit Bodyguard'?

I think the truthful answer is that the author is not -really- japanese, even though he has japanese parents (I don't remember where he was born, but it's irrelevant, culturally speaking), because from what I remember, he has not really lived in Japan much, he just likes to exploit its colorful, mysterious and interesting history for profit by utilizing silly animals in his cartoons that appeal to the lowest common denominator of the western world that have interest towards all the 'cool' samurai and ninja stuff.

And thus, he created his cartoons in english - it's possible that he doesn't really even speak or understand japanese (it would have been much better and less confusing if Usagi and the animals in his dimension would simply have spoken japanese) much. And because they want to cater to the english-speaking world for maximum profit, they have to destroy authenticity and just distort even the continuity and logic of their own creations.

Usagi was supposed to have been born in Japan, speak japanese language, and do japanese things in a japanese way, and his speaking would only have been 'translated for the reader's convenience' - but suddenly, he speaks english, and the explanation is that he comes from another dimension.. that completely obliterates the origin, the history, and all that. It contradicts what we have learned from the Usagi Yojimbo comics, with the supposed Zen-teaching and all (though a lot of that was simply ripped from famous Zen koans).

Usagi should either be named "Rabbit Bodyguard" or NOT speak english, OR the explanation for WHY he speaks english shouldn't come from the executives or the business-oriented mind, but instead of Usagi having actually learned the language from some gaijin, or something (though that would create its own set of problems) more credible and less contradictory.

So everyone speaks english in the parallel universe, and yet, Usagi and everyone else (or at least the people Usagi talks about) has a japanese name.

WHAT KIND OF SENSE DOES THAT MAKE?

By the way, it's even wrong in multiple levels to use the word "Yojimbo", because that is not japanese anyway. That word cannot be written with japanese KANA.

It's either

Youjinbou,
Yōjinbō,
Yoojinboo

or even

Yôjinbô,

but it is definitely NOT "Yojimbo". There cannot be an "m" without a wovel attached to it in japanese language. "Ma", "Me", "Mi", "Mo" and "Mu", or even variations like "Miyu" are possible - but "mb" is completely impossible.

So instead of "m", it MUST be "n", it's dictated by the language itself!

And instead of short wovels, that word contains LONG wovels, which should always be indicated, or you are otherwise confusing meanings, like "komon" and "kōmon".

The other means 'advisor', and the other means 'anus'. That's like confusing "hoot" and "hot" in english language - completely different meanings, and the amount of wovels HAS to be indicated for this reason! (It always is in KANA - for some reason, people don't make that mistake in KANA mode, but in roumaji, anything goes? I don't get it)