They weren't even at the party together - Wheeler said he was leaving "to make a phone call" and right as he closed the door, Jane starts calling for Tim outside the window (which I doubt Wheeler would've been able to hear from the hall, especially with all the noise). Then she asks where he's been as they were supposed to meet at the fort and she had been waiting for him for an hour (so it wasn't like she had plans to show up and Wheeler picked that time to make his exit). Jane tries twice to get Dunphy to come with her but he managed to convince her to come up for a quick drink. In between that, they flashed over to Wheeler who looked nervously between the phone and Funderburk's door (it didn't look like it was an easy decision for him). So he wasn't still around when Dunphy convinced Jane to come up and thus he had no way to know she was there.
Jane being the one to really get hurt was just a case of being in the wrong place, with the wrong people, at the wrong time - Funderburk hated Dunphy and wanted nothing more than to see him suffer, especially after Dunphy tried to blackmail him. But he saw that Dunphy not only didn't seem to care if he was booted, but he was willing to be booted so long as his friends could get off with a slap on the wrist. Which is the only thing he really cared about - He didn't think his life was going anywhere so he didn't care so much about thrashing it, but his friends and their lives meant something to him. So since there was nothing Funderburk could do directly to Dunphy that would really hurt him, he decided to hurt him by targeting his friends. And since Jane had the most to lose, hurting her would hurt Dunphy the most... and it did.
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