If Tarantino had directed the Trilogy, how would it have turned out?


It would have been rated R of course and the cast would be (had to pick big stars from the late 90's)

Samuel Jackson - Gandalf
Leonardo Dicaprio - Legolas
Lucy Liu - Arwen
Rutger Hauer - Theoden
Steve Buscemi - Gollum
Harvey Keitel - Gimli
Kurt Russell - Aragorn
Chris Penn - Samwise
Uma Thurman - Eowyn
Tim Roth - Frodo
John Travolta - Boromir
Bruce Willis - Saruman
Daryl Hannah - Galadriel
Eric Stoltz - Elrond

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I am having fun imagining this.

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They wouldn't even have to use any CGI for a Steve Buscemi Gollum. None. Just put him in a loincloth and mess up his hair a little.

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I laughed too hard imagining that.

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He’d be awesome!

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Quentin would have his usual small role too, so his version would have him appearing as Tom Bombadil. His songs would change a bit, I would imagine:

Hey derry digger,
Ole Tom, he’s a merry n###er!

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I don't know, Ralph Bakshi did the original animated version and it was nothing like his usual films. Maybe Tarantino would have been able to restrain himself and be faithful to the books?

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It'd still be wild, though, I think. He probably wouldn't be doing stuff like freeze-framing and super-imposing, "SARUMAN: THE WHITE" over top (probably then re-freezing and crossing out "White" with "OF MANY COLOURS").

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Or Saruman the Honky Cracker

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"Gandalf the Grey...yes... I seem to remember being called that once..."
"Who are you now?"
"Gandalf the Bad Mother-f***er."

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This discussion is wonderfully hilarious. :)

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Well it couldn’t possibly be worse than what we ended up with

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Instead of Enya, Annie Lennox and Howard Shore, the music would have been 1970's bubble gum pop with some Ennio Morricone compositions ripped from Spaghetti Westerns!

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You forgot Christoph Waltz as Sauron

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Lol. It doesn't fit his style.

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Quentin's too much of a real world humanist too. I don't take him for a lover of literature outside of pop culture, even though Tolkien's work competed with 20th Century pop culture.

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