MovieChat Forums > The 13th Warrior (1999) Discussion > This movie is ass.

This movie is ass.

posted 10 years ago by Degree7
29 replies | jump to latest

Was this so e kind of joke? Antonio Banderas as an Arab? The guy spoke with a stupid Spanish accent the whole time,

Camerawork, cinematography, the action scenes, everything as so flat and boring, No decent swordplay or epic battle scenes, the camera spent 90% of the time zoomed in on the actors faces.

Ending was anticlimactic. Couple these with fallacies and false logic of the plot, you have the worst of 1999. No wonder this bombed at box office.

Limit of the Willing Suspension of Disbelief: directly proportional to its awesomeness.

[–] Fluke_Skywalker 10 years ago

Fixed.

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A journey into the realm of the obscure: http://saturdayshowcase.blogspot.com/

[–] 10 years ago

[deleted]

[–] ck1-5 10 years ago

You're a dickbag.

[–] 10 years ago

[deleted]

[–] yusef-ghanima 10 years ago

but there is no english with a classical arabic accent!

i mostly will not be able to answer your reply, since marissa mayer hacked my email, no notification

[–] daweller 9 years ago

Biggest box office bombs adjusted for inflation Rank Title Estimated losses
(constant $) Year Ref
1 The 13th Warrior $97,896,514—182,838,584 1999 [# 4]
2 47 Ronin $151,377,068 2013 [# 2]
3 Cutthroat Island[a] $137,488,885 1995 [# 14]
4 Mars Needs Moms $136,816,444 2011 [# 3]
5 The Adventures of Pluto Nash $126,461,993 2002 [# 10]
6 The Fall of the Roman Empire $126,417,784 1964 [# 52]
7 Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within $125,776,050 2001 [# 11]
8 John Carter $124,944,919 2012 [# 5]
9 The Lone Ranger $95,926,537—121,237,251 2013 [# 6]
10 Sahara $121,194,169 2005 [# 1]

[–] Vega_Lyra 9 years ago

I guess it shows my lack of taste, but some of my most guilty pleasures are on that list!

1. 13th Warrior
3. Cutthroat Island
6. Fall of The Roman Empire
8. John Carter
10. Sahara

Conquer your fear, and I promise you, you will conquer death.

[–] vicky_lc2001 (1907) 8 years ago

I like this films as well though I never saw TFPTRE and now I want to watch it!

Btw I have no guilt for liking these films!

[–] joegerardi (383) 3 months ago

Maybe then, but not now. John Carter lost and estimated 265 million; the Lone Ranger 249. The Marvels lost 237 million.

The 13th Warrior lost a lot of money, but it's not the worst.

..Joe

[–] Argumemnon 9 years ago

This movie is not ass. This movie is the *beep*

Banderas as an Arab is stretching it, sure. But then, Spain was Muslim back then, so why not.

[–] baj2 9 years ago

Antonio Banderas was born in Andalusia, Spain. It was the most central site of Muslim rule and culture during the early part of Spain's history. It would not be surprising if Antonio had some Muslim antecedents himself? Who is to say who are really the pure Castillian Spaniards?

If you have ever been to the south of Spain ( Andalusia), there are many world -known structures and landmarks that are attributed to Muslim rule -- the famous Alhambra Palace, the Mosque of Cordoba ( if you ever saw Aronofsky's The Fountain, it was featured in one scene) which transitioned several religious faiths -- Muslim, Christian, Jewish, major palaces in Seville, etc...It is not all sun and sand that the coastal areas are known for.

So, the casting of Banderas in the role seemed fitting, other than that it suited his artistic talent.

[–] alfgui 8 years ago

Muslim is not a race, most "moors" and "arabs" in Spain were converted iberians and visigoths. Many spaniards had muslim ancestors, that doesn't mean they are genetically "arab" or berbers (who are not arabs!!). The buildings in the south of Spain are spanish constructions and the architecture is unique to Spain. Stop mixing race, culture and religions please.

Btw, the "arabian" poet was probably persian, and even if Banderas is southern european and not from the middle east, olive skin and dark hair made him a better candidate for the role than any actor at the time Hollywood had to offer, certainly more believable than Bale as Moses.

The movie was not a masterwork but it was not a turd either, this "flop" stinks to Hollywood accounting.

[–] hammerbutt 8 years ago

Hasn't this clown ever heard of the Moops? They were all over Spain inseminating anything that had a hole

[–] alfgui 8 years ago

Moops did not inseminated anyone in Spain, they anally inseminated your ancestors.

[–] hammerbutt 8 years ago

Not likely unless they were vacationing in the area they weren't greasy Spaniards

[–] alfgui 8 years ago

Poor thing, nobody hugs you, right? Don't worry, even if your mother *beep* you into this world she still loves be nailed from behind, only blacks of course, only they can fill that hole your big head made.

Tell me, what part of Islam conquered Spain and in medieval Spain moor was a synonym of muslim, still used today, you didn't understand, that's why most moors or muslims in Spain were converted spaniards. I love to explain basic concepts to slow people like yourself, don't worry i'll be patient.

[–] hammerbutt 8 years ago

That would be great let's start with the invasion in 711. Its ok if you need to go slow I can tell you're a giant crybaby. Maybe if your mom enjoyed getting banged a little more you wouldn't have grown up into such a little puss.

[–] alfgui 8 years ago

Mo - or in spa-nish al-so me-ans mus-lim. Now? dumb-ass?

What's wrong with being a giant crybaby? cry is something natural, if you can't you should go to a medical check up. I have no clue what my mother sexually did in her life, and i don't care, i haven't such problems like you, stop projecting, anally born people like you and theirs scatological existential problems, blah.

North africans genes (e haplogroup y chromosome) had been in the iberian peninsula (and western Europe) since the glaciation, and berbers mercenaries, especially cavalrymen, had been used in spanish wars since the phoenicians and romans, Andalucia became part of different berber north-african empires for a century, and even Franco used moors in the spanish civil war. And yes, they raped, killed and enslaved a lot of spanish men and women. The muslim society was predominantly spanish though, berbers and arabs did not colonize Spain, Islam did. Do you understand now that you can't insult me? your ignorance can though, a little.

This is like kicking the *beep* out of a girly *beep* teenager now, it may help with stress but it's not rewarding, stop with yours pathetic teen insults and correct what i'm saying about the history of my country, bloody retard, this is the only way to piss me off, and if you can't, STFU.

[–] soffee83 8 years ago

Banderas as an Arab is stretching it

I just watched "America America" from 1963. You would swear Banderas studied that for 13th Warrior. The way the main Greek kid speaks is just like Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan. Even his voice sounds similar.

[–] tedkraan 8 years ago

It's interesting to see, that some people, in their own little world, don't like this movie. Which is fine... Since taste is a subjective thing. Idiocy however is not.

But I agree on some extends Antonio Banderas is more man than any Arab could ever be. And the action scenes were pretty vague, though the movie wasn't really meant as an action movie, but more as an adventure.

I don't see the fallacies or false logic btw, please explain.

[–] Degree7 8 years ago

So is idiotic to dislike a movie that was panned by critics and audiences stayed away from in droves? You act like I was insulting Citizen Kane or something. Please.

~ I'm a 21st century man and I don't wanna be here.

[–] tedkraan 8 years ago

Well, It gets a 6.6 and I liked it. Taste differs and that's a good thing.

It was pretty idiotic to state your taste and/or opinion as some sort of fact.

I can understand the other issues you mention., but what I'm really curious for are the 'fallacies and false logic of the plot'?

[–] herrandrusz 8 years ago

I'd rather watch this then *beep* Kane.

[–] highlord_leader_apocalypse 8 years ago

How can anyone respect such movie when Buliwyf (weak and near death) killed Wendol Warlord in five seconds?.

[–] herrandrusz 8 years ago

He's obviously supposed to be from Al-Andalus.

[–] jdforyou1983 (1470) 4 years ago

I thought it was ok

[–] BourbonKing (5777) 4 years ago

I loved this movie. It's not perfect by any means, but it introduces you to some historicity of the Dark Ages outside of Western Europe which tends to call it that because it wasn't a glorious time by Western European standards.

I'm surprised by your criticism as you even have an active account now and I thought you'd at least cite some comparisons to the Seven Samurai or Magnificent Seven which is basically the heart of this story's origin.