Looks - Have y'all ever considered...
It occurred to me, if Bruce Willis can make himself look like "Charlie" Murdock (the over-weight, middle-aged, Canadian), then technically, someone who looks like C. Murdock could actually make themselves look like Bruce Willis.
Just goes to show you, ladies, there is actually a fine line between someone who looks like a real loser and someone who looks like an actor.
There's hope for me yet. :)