In the beginning, we see how Annie is very distant from her family, working far away, only focusing on her work. She still only focuses on work when they are at the cabin, eg. when she is going out of the cabin and the phone rings, she leaves everything else be to take care of her work.
At the beginning, this certainly does appear to be true...but as the film progresses, we start to see why Annie copes with her family and work situation the way she does and the whole dynamics behind the whole unhappy marriage.
Granted, Annie’s way of coping is not healthy, but neither is Robert’s. Neither Annie or Robert were helping matters at all at the start of the film.
After the accident, she behaves as if she is the only one affected and everyone else has to take care of her - which is why Robert says
it didn't just happen to you!
No, Annie never expected anyone to take care of her at all. Robert basically went out partying just days after Grace came home from the hospital and certainly did not stay home “taking care” of Annie or even Grace for that matter.
He basically wanted Annie to just “get over” the accident and act as if the terrible accident were no more than a minor scraped knee or bruised back.
Robert saw how affected Annie was by the accident and consumed she was in trying to help both Grace and Pilgrim and resented that she did not want to just “get on” with her life and go out socializing as if nothing had happened.
She is the one being mean to others and putting them down for no reason whatsoever…
No, Annie never really put anyone down...now granted, she was bossy and a bit of a control freak, but that was her way of coping with a marriage and life that seemed to be spinning out of control. It was her way of coping with her self-esteem problems, which she’d had for many years. Granted, it was not the healthiest way of coping, but it was the only way she knew how to survive her toxic environment.
...eg. when she is bitchy to the nurse, or the comments she makes about the doctors. Robert is the one smoothing things out, after her extremely rude remarks.
Yes, Annie was snappish and a tad impatient with the nurse, but the nurse seemed to be moving slowly and Annie was worried sick about her daughter, who was gravely injured. Far from the “uncaring” mom you seem to view her as. If Annie had allegedly been such a horrid mother, she would have been indifferent to whether Grace’s tube was refilled. When it comes to patients, esp. if they need medication or pain relief, it is not something that can be dilly-dallied with.
Robert only “smoothed things out” to subtly make Annie look bad. Watch again and notice the smooth, conniving tone in Robert’s voice and how he smiles charmingly at the nurse, then sneakily gives Annie a dirty look.
In a way, I gathered that Robert was subtly mocking Annie to the nurse and silently telling the nurse Just look how “horrible” my wife is. Maybe if the film had even been longer, Robert could have even been checking the nurse out to see if she was flattered by his charm and was open to a little flirtation.
Annie, being very perceptive and rather sensitive, picked this up, which is why she acts even colder with Robert; it’s the only way she knows how to handle his put downs. Watch closely and you can see how Annie’s been slowly hurt by Robert’s subtle, not-obvious small put-downs over the years.
Annie struck me as a woman who had been so hurt that she put shields up in her defense and donned on a controlling front and to Robert, an icy facade to keep him from hurting her much more.
Annie is also distancing herself from her daughter after the accident, showing no compassion whatsoever.
No, she isn’t; she grows closer to Grace after the accident. That’s why Annie insisted, albeit a tad bossily, that the nurse refill Grace’s tubes and that’s why Annie visits libraries to look up info on horse therapy and why she drives miles out to an unfamiliar, frightening, alien countryside to seek help for both Pilgrim and Grace.
It’s Annie, not Robert, who braves the alien land and deals with the way different country people and her fears about being a foreigner in a foreign land and doesn’t give up until both Grace and Pilgrim get the help they need.
And later in the film, when Grace is talking and crying over how she will get on with an artificial leg, Annie weeps also and hugs her and tells her what an extraordinary woman she will grow up to be.
Hardly the acts of a woman with “no compassion,” is it?
When she gets the note at work and has to go to the school, she clearly acts like it is an annoying disturbance that her daughter isn't doing well.
No, Annie is frightened. Otherwise, she would have just ignored the message and would not have bothered to come to the school. And if she were as uncaring as you view her, Robert would have been the one coming up to the school, not Annie.
And I think Grace is absolutely right when she says that Annie just wants her to be the perfect daughter, so she can look like the perfect mother.
True, Grace is right there...she sees her mom’s low self-esteem and that her mother deals with it in an unhealthy way...which was good. Grace kind of prompted Annie to re-examine her life and to find healthier ways of coping and to find a new direction, not continue the loveless marriage as was with Robert and not continue in a job that was not fulfilling. Grace challenged Annie indirectly, in a surly early teenage way, to come back to herself and be true to herself.
Annie doesn’t realize it at the time, but that does prompt her to do some serious thinking...about her marriage, her family, her career, and changing her ways of coping with her self-esteem problems and maybe even getting counseling.
Annie is all
pull yourself together and go back to school! when Grace is obviously distressed and not at all ready for it.
At first, Annie is, but once she realizes how serious things are, she does take Grace back home and start making plans to find real help. Otherwise, she would have just sighed impatiently and left Grace sitting there and would have just gone back to work or would have called Robert in to deal with it and left it all to Robert.
Annie doesn't care one bit about Grace at that point.
Yes, she does. That’s actually a large crux of the film and Annie finding the Horse Whisperer. Otherwise, Robert would have been the one driving out to the country and would have been looking for help and poring over the library and articles.
But Robert was the one who showed indifference, esp. to Annie and went out socializing (he comes home, takes off his gold cufflinks, and impatiently tells Annie, Those people are still our friends.
And it was Robert who had the “great” idea for all of them to go to some tropical place as if that would be the cure-all to everything, unmindful of Grace or Annie’s feelings. He then sighs, Oh, that’s right, I forgot when Annie reminds him that Grace’s leg is not healed yet and that she cannot wear shorts or summer skirts yet.
But then she goes starting an affair with Tom, egotistically toying around with his feelings…even though she has been warned and said she doesn't want him.
No, she truly is attracted to Tom and wants Tom. If anything, Tom was fascinated by exotic, sophisticated Annie from the faraway city with her “strange” accent and was kind of toying with her. Remember when Annie half-jokingly asks Tom, Why do I get the feeling you’re laughing at me?
Diane is a tad curious and slightly jealous because Annie’s sophisticated, intelligent, and has been almost all around the world, while Diane has never been anywhere and is not sophisticated or very bright, so she is a tad threatened by Annie coming to their farm and secretly wishes she could have the full life Annie has.
Remember how Diane kind of nags her husband how they never go anywhere in her hints about Morocco? I get the feeling Diane and Frank had hidden marital issues of their own, but of course would never admit to outsiders or even to Tom.
And when Robert comes out to visit, she is extremely cold towards him and hardly even looks at him. He probably senses that (who wouldn't, she's colder than ice towards him)…
And who can blame Annie? Robert shows up unannounced, charms most of the unsophisticated Bookers and invites himself over to their farm and helps himself to their food, uninvited. Of course, the Bookers tell him he’s welcome out of politeness and partially because Grace is happy to see her dad again after many months.
And mind you, this is in light of Robert telling Annie that he “couldn’t afford” to take time off from his law firm a few months ago when Annie first suggested that they head out west.
Annie by now sees thru Robert’s false charm and is not impressed by his show. Not to mention that Robert, once he says hello to Annie in front of the Bookers mainly to impress them and pretend to be this “devoted” husband and dad, basically ignores Annie from then on.
Remember the scene where they are all gathered on the Bookers’ front porch that night...Robert is talking endlessly about himself non-stop and starts in on all his trips, esp. one to India and his oh-so-great adventures there and acts as if Annie is no more than one of the dogs.
And naturally, the Bookers are blindly impressed by Roberts’ tales, esp. Diane (who I think secretly shot Frank dirty looks for not being as debonior or educated as Robert or Annie), which Robert ate up like fried chicken.
Grace sees her dad ignoring her mom and tries to add the part where Robert met Annie to include Annie in their conversation. Robert adds this as an afterthought, then goes back to ignoring Annie and talking about himself.
And we see Annie’s unhappy face at Robert buttering up the Bookers and her hurt that he has not changed, even with the accident, that their marriage is more miserable than ever. It really let Annie down and she showed this, esp. in her acting “colder than ice.”
Would you feel warmly toward a husband who subtly put you down for years, then even after an accident like the one in this film, showed up unannounced to where you were, used you to impress the locals there, but then went back to treating you like crap and ignoring you? I highly doubt it. I know I would not.
...and that is why he says that she should get her priorities sorted out and figure out what she wants.
Robert actually doesn’t say this; he plays the martyred “perfect” husband who implies that Annie “never loved” him and that he loved her oh-so-much that he stayed all these years with her out of pity, then pulls the act of playing the “wronged” husband “forgiving” his “adultrous” wife.
Granted, Annie herself is realizing that she does need to figure out what she truly wants and realizes, without Robert mouthing off, that she needs to pull away from both Robert and Tom and figure out what she wants to do with her career (she really wanted to be an author) and rest of her life.
She knew at this point that she needed to end things with Tom since she realized that it was just infatuation speaking and that she and Tom would not have lasted long as a couple, and to head back to NYC, end things with Robert, finish raising Grace in a healthier environment, and begin a new, more satisfying career.
It's actually quite large of him, giving her this second chance.
Sure, he was giving her a millionth chance to be put down, mocked, and made to feeling guilty. Very huge of him.
He could have just left her, and I think he should have.
He did leave her...actually in bits and pieces for a long time. With the accident, it was clear that although physically present, he’d emotionally abandoned her a while ago and she sensed this.
She definitely needed to head back to NYC at the end and divorce and leave Robert for good and start a more satisfying life for herself and Grace. And she knew she couldn’t depend on Tom to do it for her either.
At the end, Annie is still trying to figure out whether she loves Tom or Robert (or both/none).
She loved both of them, but realized that neither relationship was working out, which is partially why she was crying so hard as she started her drive back home to NYC. She knew her marriage to Robert was over and that she had the long, difficult task ahead of her of rebuilding her life once she got home.
Somehow, both men seem to love her, but she still only seems to love herself.
Not true...otherwise, she would not have been crying so hard when she started her drive back home. It was Annie, not Robert or Tom, that was weeping at the end.
If I had written the script, both Robert and Tom would have turned their backs on her, leaving her with her favourite person: herself.
If I wrote a sequel, I’d have Annie head back to NYC and end things with Robert, and finish raising Grace as a single mom and become an author.
I wrote my idea on this thread...http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119314/board/nest/143251930. Read it for more detail; I also wrote what happens with the Bookers also.
Robert because she is icy to him once again, and he senses that there's something going on between her and Tom.
In response to yet another nasty treatment from Robert. And yes, Robert does think Annie is having an affair with Tom and that raises his jealous ire.
And Tom because he realizes that she only wants to play around with his feelings and is going to go back with Robert.
Annie’s sobbing during her drive back to NYC is definitely NOT that of a woman who was merely “playing around” with anyone’s feelings. Did you even watch the very last scene? Annie bursts into tears when she hugs Tom goodbye, sobbing I don’t want to leave you, but she knows she must for her own, Tom, Grace, and even Robert’s sakes.
Then she can’t stop crying when she begins her drive back; she sees the thread band she and Tom made and starts crying all over again and the pain in her face is very clear. Annie’s heart is absolutely breaking.
Annie was the one in tears...not Tom or Robert. Otherwise, they would have shown Robert crying quietly on the plane home or would have shown Tom silently crying as he watched Annie drive off...and they would have maybe shown Annie calm and collected as she drove and probably smiling.
Re-watch the ending especially.
Oh, and by the way: I don't think Robert was jealous of Annie in any way…
I think he was...but he disguised it well.
... and I certainly did not hear him make one single remark to put her down.
I sure did...re-watch the film. True, he does not make any direct remarks to put her down, but his behavior is not that of a loving husband who respected the woman he claimed to love oh-so-much.
And I know what putting down sounds/looks like, as I've been badly bullied all my life.
Sorry you’ve been bullied...but not all bullying is the same and not every bullying victim is the same as you. There are many, many forms of bullying, many of them extremely subtle.
Remember that the Mcleans are both highly educated, intelligent people and very sophisticated; they are much more subtle and discreet than the average person.
He is also not distancing himself from her, she does that herself, by being so cold towards him.
True, she does distance herself from him thru her own doing...in response to his behavior. Both of their behavior was unhealthy and Annie realizes this.
Especially when he comes to visit them at the ranch, she clearly looks at him as if she really despises him.
No, she never does. She is started at first and a bit nervous since she knows he wants something...but is let down when he proves that he hasn’t changed or matured a bit when she and Grace both have. She’s hurt that he continues the same negative pattern soon after arriving and is crushed that her marriage is no better.
Not because of anything he has done, but because he disturbs her little paradise…
Annie certainly was not in any “paradise”; she was basically a foreigner in a foreign, frightening land and was fighting her inner demons and fears day by day...hardly anyone’s idea of any rosy “paradise.”
Even her infatuation with Tom is no bed of roses; she’s struggling with guilt and a growing knowledge that she can’t stay much longer, that she needs to get back home and end things with Robert for good and rebuild her life.
Once Grace and Pilgrim recover, this is starkly clear to Annie and this realization is no “paradise” for her.
... where she can fool around with other men and pretend to be a good mother to Grace.
Since when did Annie “fool around” with “other men”? And Annie certainly was not faking by driving miles out to an alien countryside for Grace and Pilgrim and was certainly not putting on any show for anyone when she and Grace wept in each others’ arms in that one poignant scene; remember that they were alone and certainly not trying to impress anyone or “pretend” anything.
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NDPTAL85
12 years ago
I'm just curious. Do you realize you give off the impression that you think you know the characters in this movie better than anyone else, including the author of the story? Why do you speak with such certainty that you cannot possibly have?
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steelmagnolia58
10 years ago
I must say, I agree, NDPTAL85! I don't know that even the book's creator would have written such a passionate, overwrought, omniscient defense of the work! Although I did not read the book, and would certainly not presume to be an all-out authority even if I had, I thought Annie was a cold fish. Yes, Tom seemed to stir some sort of passion in her that she, apparently, couldn't muster for her husband; Heaven knows I understand why she'd be attracted to him.
Here are some of my thoughts.
It's a quantum leap to go from Robert defending the nurse, and feeling embarrassed by his wife's nastiness toward her, to thinking he was hoping to make some time with the nurse. He recognized that his wife's stressing over such minutia as a half-full IV bag was motivated by her own fear and desperation. He smiled apologetically at the nurse, I believe, in an attempt to soften his wife's words and attitude.
Annie looks miserably uncomfortable when her husband shows up at the ranch because she doesn't want to be found out! She clearly didn't want him there from the start of the journey, and certainly didn't appreciate his presence once the monkey business with Tom started. (I will say, too, that I am glad Redford didn't shoot anything more intimate between his character and Annie than the stolen kisses and their very private dance.)
The sister-in-law (played by Dianne Wiest) was certainly wary of Annie, and I strongly disagree with the assessment that she's "not sophisticated" or not very bright. WHAT!? She helps to manage a ranch, and is clearly teaching her sons to be gracious, mannered, respectful, and genteel. I don't think she feels the least bit envious of Annie, and I don't recall seeing a hint of discord in her own marriage. In fact, the dinner-table scene was uncomfortable to watch NOT because exotic, sophisticated Annie from the big city put their puny little ranch lifestyle to shame. I think the Booker family looked on Annie with something akin to pity because she was so out of her element talking about Angus, Herefords, bulls and cows.
I don't expect I've offered any rare insights into this film or the story. I thought it was beautifully shot, and I may read the book just for the sake of comparison. Thanks for listening. :)
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