Your very own Weebo!
Okay, admit it: Despite all the rampant cheesiness of this film, reality-stretching, etc; how COOL would it be to have a Weebo™ of your very own?
I imagine a brochure would sound something like this...
Our signature model, The Weebo™ Classic, The WeeboLuxe™, WeeboMax™, WeeBit mini Weebo and the new Weebette™ are perfect for everyone! No matter the application, our line of DAIPAs (Dynamic.Artificial.Intelligence.Personal.Assistant) are perfect for any individual, and can be customized to tailor-fit even the most demanding of
users! As always, the reliability you've come to expect from WeeboCom is prevalent throughout our lineup, and we guarantee all Weebo models with our 5 Year Full and Lifetime Limited Warranty!
On all models, Guaranteed Brainard® technology is the norm. Composite Brainard DynaProtean® A.I. and Brainard HoverBox™ come standard. With Dynaprotean A.I., impression technology bonds you with your Weebo in a carefully maintained interpersonal relationship. Available in 3 personality depthmodes, your Weebo can be Barebones, Personable, or FamiliaFriend. We recommend FamiliaFriend mode, but a Weebo's personality all up to you!
The Brainard Hoverbox technology allows your Weebo the mobility and unchallenged access to you, creating what we like to call touchfree operation! On a full charge, all Weebo and Weebettes are guaranteed at for 5 hours of hovertime and depending on use, up to 9 full hours! That's a full workday for some people! (Hovertime may fluctuate with actual use. All Weebo™ units must be recharged as recommended to guarantee hovertime.) With Brainard HoverBox technology, no more losing or looking endlessly for your digital assistant. Weebo finds you!
Other features standard on a Weebo Classic:
* The Brainard® hyperlowvoltage 10 Petahertz processor
* 1TB(terabyte) capacity Hybrid Flash drive.(Weebo Classic is upgradable to a maximum of 5 PetaBytes.) With a standard offering of a terrabyte of storage, there's no limit to your storage needs, whether it be music, video, personal contacts, photos, or holographs, you'll never run out of space! Our 5 Petabyte upgrade is suitable for lossless conversion of your data to Weebo storage. Those songs will sound like the singer is there in the room with you!
* Backlit MaxBright SLOP(Superlight.Organic.Plasma) display
* Hologram & Holograph/Imaging CameraJector. Want to take holographic images? With the Weebo's Brainard Hoverbox, the complicated process of multicamera setup is eliminated as the Weebo can circle the subject from bottom to top or top to bottom and take the composite pictures necessary to form a holographic image. Weebo can also project the holographic images or images and filmclips from any angle with a viewing area of up to 107". Perfect for on the spot or unplanned presentations or venues where suitable presentation media is unavailable.
* MaxGrab® indexing. Sometimes simply giving a file a single name doesn't do justice to its contents and keywords to files can be limiting. MaxGrab indexing allows a Weebo, working in conjuction with the Brainard A.I., to understand and utilize the entire content of that file! For instance, you've stored a few movies on your Weebo, and would like Weebo to use various clips from those movies to accent events. Weebo can use MaxGrab to annotate every second of a film or sound clip or every letter of a document without slowing system performance to facilitate immediate access! (Usage of this feature can be dependant on personality selection.)
* The classics; Scheduler/Calender, Address Book, Word Processor with Dynamic Suggest and Correction technology, Dictation and Memocorder, WiFi, Bluetooth, and DynamoFi communication ports, Cell Phone and LandlineLink communication ability, MediaPlayView with MaxGrab Indexing/Personal A.I. adaptive cataloguing to tailorfit your sorting needs, and a host of other applications to help you get through the day!
* Weebo™ Classic and all other Weebo™ Models, and select builds of WeeBit and Weebette can also be customized for specific environments. Extreme heat and cold shielding, pan-orbital artificial gravity interference drive for Moon Colony residents, blast shielding, Brainard DoubleHover for heavy gravity environments, Brainard Acelamax for high-speed or high-altitude hovering (as used by Western Union's Mercury Messenger service), and a host of other available upgrades. Please call and ask to speak with a representative. Customizable Weebettes and WeeBits available only by special order.
WeeboLuxe™ is a sleeker, more compact model, and can be customized with precious, semi-precious stones, and precious metals for buttons, controls, and interfaces. WeeboLuxe has signature Jeeves™ Butler, Fifi™ Maid, Joan P.A.™, Peter O'Toole™, and Maggie Smith™ Personalities for the refined touch. WeeboLuxe also offers a wider selection of technology customization options and opportunities. Please call and ask to speak with a representative for more information or to request the WeeBit Holograph demo unit to be mailed to you. All WeeBits will return to nearest local Weebo dealer if attempts are made to tamper with unit.
WeeboMax™ is our heavy-duty model. Equipped with WeeboCom's industrial components, HoverVault HoverBox can allow your WeeboMaxes to lift up to 100 pounds, and RetractoMax Fleischer™ Tentacle Arms to grip, pull, lift, and manipulate. Weebomax can also take punishment, a lot of it! Shielded against spills and registered to withstand caustic gasses, chemicals, and liquids, and shock-absorbent from bangs, and knocks. Now with adaptive A.I. accident sensor prevention technology, WeeboMax learns about the hazzards of its environments with WeeBit HoverMini surveying probes, WeeboMax is perfect for light industrial applications.
WeeBit™ Weebo Mini is perfect for superlight applications or barebones use. School assistant for children, corporate gifts, surveillance applications, and a host of other non-demanding uses make the ultra-compact WeeBit Weebo Mini perfect where Other Weebos are too big, too expensive, or too much.
The New Weebette™ is perfect for light personal use and children. Perfectly budget-priced, Weebette comes standard with all features of Weebo Classic except for reduced max hovertime (3-5 hours max)500 GB capacity Hybrid Flash drive (upgradeable to 1TB max), Signature Weebette personality comes standard but Weebette also includes FamiliaFriend and Julia Roberts™ personality . Additional personalities can be purchase at your local Weebo dealer, or downloaded through WeeboNet directly into your Weebette! (. Weebettes also come with DiDi Journal for kids and can be voicelocked to allow access to their data by their voice alone! Weebettes come in wide spectrum of colors, and can be silkscreened with an image or images of your choice to fit your personality. A host of other features available. Please see the Weebette brochure for more information.
The Brainard Dynprotean AI system and Brainard Hoverbox were developed by WeeboCom founder Professor Phillip Brainard, and remain virtually unchanged since their creation except for extension of hovertime and increased control of A.I personality. The genius of our founder and his many contributions to the world of science remain as some of the standards of the industry to this day. However, The Weebo remains the most beloved and timeless contribution of Professor Phillip Brainard.
New and exciting things are happening here at WeeboCom, and we are delighted that you have shown interest in taking the steps to adopting a Weebo of your very own. As with all Weebos with A.I. personalities more complex than BareBones enabled, care must be taken when interacting with Weebo, as every Weebo's personality is unique, and the more passionate your interaction with Weebo becomes, the more passionate they will become in return. Weebo Classic personalities, once selected, are permanent and cannot be reset. If for any reason you are dissatisfied with your Weebo's personality, please attend your local Weebo Dealer for WeeboCare sessions. In extreme cases, a Weebo must be de-activated, but this is only as a last resort. Once a Weebo is de-activated, it can no longer be reactivated, due to the unique Dynaprotean A.I. We strongly recommend against de-activation, and as such, all Weebos come with a certificate for five free WeeboCare sessions. Data becomes irretrievable after de-activation due to MaxGrab index linking which is hardwired into the Weebo A.I.
Please, treat your weebo like you would a good friend, and your Weebo will always be a good friend to you.
Please call and adopt a Weebo or Weebette today!
1-800-WEEBCOM (9332-266)