I think you folks are missing something absolutely crucial in this equation, and the movie actually does make an almost imperceptible reference to it.
In fact, it is one of my favorite little bits of the movie.
After Ellie is in the pod, looking at "Grand Central Station", the large light swirl that is supposed to be a myriad of pods arriving from other parts of the galaxy, and she says that they should have sent a poet, and that she "had no idea... had no idea...", the camera zooms in on her eyes.
If you follow closely, you'll see two transitions that are critical.
The first transition switches from Ellie's face in the pod to her eyes as she is seemingly lying on some kind of examining table, and the impression that I get is that she is possibly disrobed and naked, but the most important point is that if you look at her eyes during this brief moment, she is emoting through her eyes that she is terrified. Her eyelids are wide open, and her eyes are somewhat quivering as if she is nearly in overload as to what she is actually seeing in front of her.
Then, as the camera keeps zooming in, that's when we go "into" her eye, and the scene switches to her gently falling into the Pensacola simulation.
While people may think it is silly to have the alien appear as her father, I think this is supposed to demonstrate that it was actually a good idea, and was done to truly help "make things easier" for those who arrived in the pods.
I think we can all dream and imagine that we would love to meet an alien being. I think we could try to prepare ourselves as much as possible. But I also believe that it is quite possible that none of that matters when you actually come face-to-face with another alien sentient being standing right in front of you. This becomes especially true if the alien being is not similarly based on a hairless anthropomorphic biped.
What if it is evolved more from some kind of squid-like creature, and constantly secretes a glistening fluid and has a mouth on its head that looks frightening? What if it's some kind of advanced crustacean type creature, like the "Prawns" in District 9? You could easily become fearful and recoil from them, finding that it takes a lot longer for your brain to grok this and come to grips with the fact that they probably aren't going to eat you.
She DID have a real experience. But I'm sure that the aliens at Grand Central Station had done this enough times that they knew the risks and knew the fault points, and had adapted their methods in a way that insured that the experience was easiest for the visitors, and they could spend more time communicating and learning about each other rather than having to deal with the psychological terror of the unknown.
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You're makin'... me... beat... up... GRASS!
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