Chasing Amy AKA Chasing poontang (1997) REVIEW
SPOILERS FOR THIS MORALLY REPUGNANT FILM CHASING AMY
-this is a film about sexually frustrated nerds written by a sexually frustrated nerd
-and its fucking shit
-so creepy loser ben affleck plays autistic boring cunt holden (the worst name ever)
-as he falls in loves with the most annoying girl in film
-he meets her at some nerd fest
-(back when comic-con was for actual nerds)
-and falls in love with her immediately
-ben mate, thats not love
-thats called wanting to get a blowjob
-but anyway it turns out she's a massive lesbian
-not that there's anything wrong with that
-and she's like all over him and im thinking
-"i bet shes actually bi"
-and low and behold 20 minutes later she's all like
-"omg im actually bi"
-and im like whatever darling i knew that
-no one can resist that creepy boring fuck ben affleck apparently
-also ben has the most autistic acting ive ever seen
-like hes telling her how great she is but he's throwing his arms around all aggressive like
-fucking prick looks like he's mad at her
-so anyway this faux lesbian ends up dating ben
-and bens mate is like nah this bitch aint good for you bruv
-and bens like oh why?
-and bens mate is like well she used to suck all the cock like
-and bens like no way dude shes a total lesbian
-and bens mate is like how is she a lesbo
-when she's sucking your dick on the regular???
-you fucking melon
-and bens like all shit maybe she did suck all the dick
-so ben cant deal with the fact that he didnt turn a gay girl straight (every mans dream btw)
-so he confront her at a hockey game
-why you may ask?
-who the fuck knows or cares
-so hes like did ya suck all the penis?
-and shes like yeah hun lol i used to luv it teehee
-and ben flies into an autistic rage
-which leads into the worst bit of acting ive seen all year
-so they break up but not really
-and at the end ben gets his girl and his best mate to sit down
-and instead of apologising
-he suggests they have a threesome
-and his mate, his girl, me and probably the editor were all like wtf is this dudes problem lol
-so his mate aint having it
-so ben kisses him
-and then his mate is like "alright yeah im in"
-and none of it makes sense
-then his girl is like lol nope im out you creepy fuck
-so ben ruined his friendship with his best mate
-and the love of his sad pathetic life
-all because he is a fucking pleb
-with the emotional intelligence of the real ben affleck
-what a fucking waste of my time
-oh yeah and this bitch is not even called amy
5/10