Is it really better if we do not have secrets?

This a movie that has affected me deeply since I saw it first 20 years ago. Over the years, I have constantly revisited the film and examined its themes. The film lies only partially in Cynthia and Hortense's story. Many of the scenes involving Morris working with his clients are what really drive home the movie's point. Mike Leigh makes a fair point. We are constantly obsessed with appearances, and the manner in which we are "perceived" by others. Perhaps most of the pain and distress that we experience in life is often derived from issues related to how others perceive us. It leads to a spiral in which our lives are strangely transported outside our bodies. Each person views his/her life's trajectory, his triumphs, failures, high points and low points largely based on how s/he was perceived by others. Mike Leigh suggests that openly sharing our weaknesses, mistakes and vulnerabilities, rather than hiding or denying them will make others more understanding of us and our actions. But could that really be the case in today's world?

We live in an electronic age in which people have no tolerance for ambiguity. The main function of news stories is not to provide information but to elicit judgments. By the end of each news story, audiences want to arrive to a "s/he is a good/bad/dumb/smart/nice/evil person" judgment, and news stories are written to fulfill that need. It's hard for people to fathom a person with shades of grey, i.e. someone who could be both good and bad, kind and cruel at the same time. For example, Casey Affleck has been "accused" of sexual misconduct. Some people choose to believe that he is innocent because he was not convicted (which does not mean that he did not commit the act) and others choose to believe that he is guilty because he paid a settlement. People find it hard to perceive him in terms of uncertainty, as a person who "may or may not have" committed an act of sexual misconduct, and to separate his performance from that aspect.

And this may not just be a symptom of the electronic age. Human beings are built in a manner that facilitates quick heuristic judgments. Perceiving of a person as both simultaneously good and bad is a cognitively effortful process that cannot be done for long spans of time. This process of "humanizing" others also robs much of our daily conversation of its stimulation. If we were describing the actions of others without passing much judgments that could create feelings of anger, joy or admiration, conversations become boring. Much of the appeal of gossip owes to the pleasure derived from judging others. It is arguable that human nature leads us look for abnormalities in other people that we can use to pass value judgments. In such a case, sharing secrets can only give others ammunition to dehumanize you.

And there lies the conundrum. Being authentic to oneself, one's past, and mistakes is all fine and dandy, but is that really practical in today's world. Consider an ex-criminal who was convicted for shoplifting in the past, and has now moved to a new town. Will he be more empowered if he shares his criminal history? What do you guys think?