MovieChat Forums > Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995) Discussion > LMAO! This Movie Is So Bad!

LMAO! This Movie Is So Bad!

posted 13 years ago by Blizzard_Beasts
13 replies | jump to latest

I watched it again the other day for the first time in about 10 years. I forgot how unrealistic Seagal movies are.

Few points worth bickering about:

1. Seagal has time to train a lowly Porter with no skills to use a handgun and now Morris Chestnut can outsmart "million dollar men" and kill them because Seagal told him how to hold a gun and said, "dynamic tension." LMAO! Remember Dane sarcastically said to Penn, "Your million dollar men aren't good enough?" All it takes is few words from Seagal and now you're an expert! Not to mention he took out the woman at the end because of the "wrist flip" move. LOL he became an expert on that too!

2. The mercenaries going after Ryback one by one. There's like 5 of them sitting in the first car and they go out one at a time to try and get Ryback. Or when Penn tells them to "check downstairs" and one guy goes down instead of 4 or 5 at a time. VERY stupid. In real life, all the men would've went after Seagal at once instead of one at a time. LMAO!

3. Morris Chestnut threatening to shoot the helicopter pilot when he doesn't know how to fly! The pilot should've said, "you're not gonna shoot me, you'll crash when I'm dead since you can't fly!" No clue why the pilot kept the helicopter hovering instead of telling Chestnut that.

4. Seagal running toward the end of the train at the end as if he KNEW the ladder would be there waiting for him at the back. If you watch that scene closely, he just jumps out onto the ladder without even stopping to see if there was a ladder there. If there had been no ladder there, Ryback's dead. LMAO!

5. Seagal saying, "You think this is being shot? This ain't being shot!" LMAO yeah whatever you say Steve!

My favorite has to be number 1 though. There's always a Seagal movie where he trains some low life scrub to be better than mercenaries just from a few "good words of advice."

LMAO! Remember in Under Siege 1 , Erika Eliniak was afraid of guns and couldn't fight and she spends a few hours with Seagal and now she's a killer!

[–] ny_pitbull 13 years ago

It's so bad you took time out of your busy schedule to write a long winded post about it.

You did however set a record by typing lmao in caps,a world record number of times.

[–] nomadski 13 years ago

I particularly like the speeded up sequence when Seagal throws the main villain over his arm. Terrible effect. Maybe second only to the part when he stands up as the trains are colliding and jogs for a few seconds with destruction behind him.

Its straight to video quality. Awful.

I find that ducks opinion of me is very much influenced over whether or not i have bread.

[–] Gator_MacReady 13 years ago

I particularly like the speeded up sequence when Seagal throws the main villain over his arm. Terrible effect.

This really, really, really OLD complaint...yet AGAIN!

It's called a 'stutter cut' and modern action films are filled with them.

Meh!

[–] AlexaChadwick 13 years ago

2. Since they are highly trained men, they would think only one would be needed to take out one guy. Were they actually looking for him when he was sent to check downstairs? I can't remember. I think it was just a suspension at the time.

3. I doubt the helicopter pilot knew whether he knew or not how to fly, since he doesn't know him.

5. Seagal was saying that because he's tough and bad-ass.

I think kinda cheesy that he made it out of the train unharmed after that kind of impact. But, that how monies are made, you're not suppose to take everything seriously, just enjoy the entertainment. Let a few things slide. WHo said movies were all realistic?

That's my input.

[–] 13 years ago

[deleted]

[–] ZabyPS3 12 years ago

Sorry, but US2:DT is flawless! Ok, ok, if you really want to be nit-picky:

1. how the heck does a lowly chef get through to the US Naval command bunker communication line so easily?!?!

2. how can 6ft3 Ryback creep around on a cramped train without being spotted? Sure, on a warship maybe, but not on a freakin train! Put one guard on the roof and the movie would have been over!

3. how can anyone make a bomb from ingredients found on a simple train kitchen?

4. why are none of the mercs guarding the stupid little spiral staircase that leads to their operations area?

5. how does the satelite link work when the portable dish is all burnt up?

6. why keep the extremely important codes on a mesly CD??? And why not make a back-up Travis, you so called genuius!

7. why are there 5 guys just sitting around in the driver's cabin when all the other mercs are dying off!??

8. notice how Ryback can take a 7.62mm bullet to the shoulder, then later climb up a rope and a rope ladder so easily???

9. why does Ryback tell Chesnut to take the safety off a Glock when they don't have safeties? The safety is built into in the trigger! You think an ex-SEAL would know that!

10. why doesn't the helicopter pilot just bank the chopper sharply and launch Chesnut out the open door?

11. why the heck was the F14 fighter jet (or what ever it was) about 10 feet away from the side of the train when it exploded??? That scene has always made me lol! It must have been doing 300mph at less than 20 feet altitude, in a forrest, next to a train just as it was about to drop a huge bomb!!!!! nice flying dude!

12. why does the merc who was driving the train stay in the cabin until the very end when we see his death face???? Kinda suicide mission??? surely he could have got out and helped his mates out!?! nah, he just sits there with his feet up!

'then, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forrest, wiiiiiiiiiiiiith.........a HERRING!'

[–] MurphAndTheMagicTones 12 years ago

12. why does the merc who was driving the train stay in the cabin until the very end when we see his death face???? Kinda suicide mission??? surely he could have got out and helped his mates out!?! nah, he just sits there with his feet up!

Trains have a dead man's switch. If you're not sitting up there driving the train, it won't go anywhere. That's why the guy doesn't move. Although certainly I would have moved when I saw that other train coming, provided you could see it coming.

---
"More turkey, Mr. Chandler?"---The Bing's houseboy, Friends

[–] vestdennis 12 years ago

The gunshot wound from a high powered rifle would have ripped through his jacket and his shoulder. Instead he barely has a tear in his jacket, and as was pointed out the wound never bothers him the rest of the movie. I guess it was one of those "flesh wounds" we hear about in movies.

The porter being able to take on, and beat, the lady terrorist has always been silly. It's all based on one move that Ryback taught him (and the porter doesn't get to practice it much) & he can overpower a highly trained terrorist.

We have a train filled with terrorists- not just thugs with guns, who may not be great shots- over 20 Ryback assumes and he is able to pick them off one by one (oh the porter helps too) until it's just Dane and him.

I love it when Penn says "You ripped my *beep* jacket". That's his big concern then?

I can understand the old truck part SOME. But the wires were already spliced and ready for him to touch together? Gimme a break! Why not just leave the keys under the floormat or in the visor? The latch on the hood is no issue since old cars/trucks like that opened from the outside.

But I'm really amazed at how Dane is able to survive the gunshot wound (through the laptop) and falling out of the train window at a high speed. He then proceeds to climb the copter ladder and grab Ryback. Damn, this guy was tougher than most of the "million dollar mercenaries"...

[–] gundamtinh 12 years ago

That lowly chef was a former Seal team Captain. Of course he would get through the pentagon knows him.

The man is highly trained enough to ninja his way around a train. You put one guy on the roof and he'd shoot that sucker off.

You have to know what those chemicals do before you knock the idea that anything when put into the right hands can become a weapon.

You got me on four. Maybe everyone was relaxed because they though they got all the passengers?

We don't really know how a portable dish like that works.

Those five guys are lazy as hell.

Banking sharply in unknown wind speeds may be a stupid idea.

[–] surgecess 12 years ago

I only watch it for Eric Bogosian's hysterically deranged performance. He manages to steal every scene he's in, right up until his death.

[–] EurasianEyes 11 years ago

LOL! Fun to read your points. I saw the movie again for the second time, last week i saw the first one over again. In my opinion this one is better then Under Siege.
Steve is cool :)

[–] drdmichel 8 years ago

You don't go into Seagal movies to watch high quality cinema, you watch them to see Seagal kick ass. This movie does a good job in that regard. I don't care about realism in films as long as I am entertained. Under Siege 2 kicks ass. And if you think this is bad, try watching a majority of films that Seagal did after Exit Wounds.

[–] residentevil6901 8 years ago

And yet another person who thinks an action movie, or any movie for that matter, needs to be 100% to reality. It's called suspension of disbelief, look into it. Catherine Tramell can teach you about it in Basic Instinct which is also another movie you need to suspend your disbelief. I'm amazed at how many people think that movies have to reflect 100% reality or they're not a good movie. Kind of funny.