1. If you want everybody to think you're dead, go to your own funeral.
2. If you want to donate your hair to resurrect someone, use rusty scissors instead of a razor.
3. If you really want to hurt a guy, shoot him in the anus on his forehead.
4....
4.) When committing insurance fraud with 2 ugly hookers, don't forget to be as loud and drunk as possible with your dong flapping around in full view of the entire motel complex.
share:'D
share5.) orange/yellow spandex pants were banned in 1996 under the Gothy Meth Wannabe Act of Bettering Humanity.
share6.) As a vengeful satanic phantasm, it is much easier to travel as origami geometrical pieces.
share7. Don't open up holes to the center of the Earth if you don't want to be pushed to your ultimate demise.
8. Playing around with raw meat won't give you worms or disease.
9. If you are named after a swan, then be sure to have a stuffed swan sitting atop your hearse.
10. If you are a nun entrusted to care for a patient, stand there and do nothing if the patient runs into the street in a panic.
11. When sneaking in to the repository of the Magic Castle, be sure to fire off your gun to dismantle the hologram projector.
12. When phantom fire snakes chase you, shoot at them.
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Whose idea was it for the word LISP to have an S in it?
13. When you have magic powers and come back from the dead, make sure to keep yourself partially necrotized. You'd look lovelier than you ever did with your now rotten flesh.
14. When you have the ability to use fire, use it only for demonstration and only let your former protege use it for offense against others.
15. When you have telekinetic powers, only use it on your former protege after he still shows love for the "lump of flesh" that he calls a wife.
16. Apparently, seeing "flesh through a god's eyes" would be seeing people having their skin ripped apart only to reveal blobs of goopy flesh underneath.
17. Apparently, bringing back just one person from the grave requires over a dozen more people to be sacrificed to the grave in turn.
18. When you're a detective who is fully capable of walking and running, you need help from a telekinetic to push you towards a monster so you can just grab the monster by the head and push him down a hole rather than just run to the monster and push him in without the telekinetic's help.
19. In order to deal with the woman who shot you when she was just a kid, use your powers to mutate yourself into some sort of inhuman creature and rip your face off to reveal your skull in the process,
20. Apparently, coming back from the grave makes you a much worse person than you were before.
Welcome to my Nightmare- Freddy Krueger