Quotes

Jack Lemmon: "I'm cold."
Walter Matthau: "Here's some matches. Set yourself on fire"

Walter: "I am the gangster of love"
Jack: "Gangster, huh? So tell me, was it more of a hold up than a stick up?"
Walter: "Even your infantile penis jokes seem funny and witty this morning."

Ragetti: We could have retired in Hawaii.
Gustafson: I have been to Hawaii.
Ragetti: Oh yeah? Which island?
Gustafson: Come-on-I-wanna-lay-ya.
Ragetti: I find you disgusting.
Gustafson: Well, just as long as you find me.

(when "Mr. Gustafson" had passed away)
Walter: I knew your old man better than I knew my own.
Jack: He was always very found of you, max.
Walter: He was a good man.
Jack: The Best.
Walter: You know I didnt mean what I said about Melanie.
Jack: And you know how I really feel about Jacob.
Walter: Hmmmm. Well, what do you wanna do now?
Jack: You wanna get drunk?
Walter: Yes.

Walter to Jack: Why don't you do the world a favor? Pull your lip over your head and swallow.

Jack Lemmon: You won't even know I'm here.
Walter Matthau: That's because you won't be here.

Jacob: I hate to see you sitting alone like this dad, what about that lady at the grosseri store? sure, she's a little heavy but still.
Walter: "She's dead. She choked on a pancake"

Jacob: "what about that lady down in dallas?
Walter: "She looks like Ernest Borgnine..