Nothing but ridiculous, corny, and stupid.
One of the worst movies I've watched in a long, long time.
I was going to give it a 2, just because that's generally the worst score I give for terrible movies unless they're truly deserving of that rare 1, but Salma Hayek looking all fine bumped it up to a 3. She was literally the one redeeming quality of this god awful disaster of an excuse for a movie.