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Things we learned from "On Deadly Ground"

posted 9 years ago by alberta1
4 replies | jump to latest

1) If you're the Director, you get the best horse.

2) If you get your face smashed into a helicopter, your glasses only fall off your face and don't break.

3) Take on a whole mess of bad guys, but only play "hand-slap" with their leader.

4) The FBI are incompetent p*ss*es. They "can't find a hooker in a whorehouse" and at the first sign of trouble, they run away like small children.

5) Security around oil rigs is a joke.

6) Big explosions and fires are all okay as long as the preventer implodes.

7) If you try to save your own life, your boss will call you a "gutless pr*ck".

8) It's totally okay to take a snowmobile from Eskimos for a one-way trip across the snow, then abandon it.

9) If you give a long, preachy speech at the State Capitol, you can avoid countless criminal charges of terrorism, vandalism, murder, etc.

10) Don't tell the good guy what you're going to do. Just do it.

[–] dos_azn 9 years ago

11) If an oil rig is on fire, exploding a part of it will douse the fire.

12) Having big balls won't save you in a game of slaps vs. Steven Seagal

13) Plastic soda bottles make great gun silencers.

14) If you leave Steven Seagal in Antarctica in nothing but a pair of bikini underwear and no toothbrush he will show up tomorrow afternoon next to your pool with a million dollar smile and a fist full of pesos.

15) A helicopter tail rudder on fire will appear perfectly fine a few seconds later.

16) Women make terrible SUV drivers.

If Ari Gold saw Chappie he would say:
"Chappie makes Elysium look like Citizen ƒvcking Kane"

[–] wordsatplaytoday 8 years ago

An alcoholic Indian will have a vision of you going on a great journey no matter how drunk and beat up he is.

You will drown in oil if you fall into it instead of swimming underwater away from it.

Steven Seagal cares about the environment even though they burned tons of jet fuel and other vehicles in the making of this movie and it's doubtful that anyone of the cast and crew is vegan which also helps to save the environment.

Damn I'm good.

[–] reginaldbp 8 years ago

Sometimes, modern guys are a little too modern for their own *beep* good.

Most modern guys put a logbook under their computer.

If you have any great ideas,just keep them to your *beep* self.

There is no "I" in team.

Even when playing a villain, John C.McGinley is still funny.

Michael Caine doesn't like being told that he looks ten years younger.

Soldiers from Platoon and Marines from Full Metal Jacket don't work well together.

When paranoid of fellow corrupt co-workers, leaving the house door unlocked is a great idea.

When being asked if you know how to ride a horse, just say that you're Native American.

Oil company CEOs hire mercenaries.

[–] thasaint-1 8 years ago

Also that Billy Bob Thornton used to be a litttle heavier than he is now.

One more thing. Sven always gets his ass kicked except in The Running Man