MovieChat Forums > Muriel's Wedding (1995) Discussion > Question about Muriel/Mom at the wedding...

Question about Muriel/Mom at the wedding MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS

posted 16 years ago by Samsha512
23 replies | jump to latest

Okay, this is one of my favorite movies of all time but there is one thing that I dont understand. We know Muriel missed seeing her mom at her wedding when she walked out with David. But does that mean she didn't see her at all? When the minister at the funeral says it was Betty's proudest moment seeing Muriel get married, Muriel looked like she had no idea she was there and was so upset that she forgot about her that she left. Do I have that right? Earlier on the wedding day, she asked her dad where she was and he said she was on her way. Didn't she see her mom later on after the ceremony? Also, her mom brought a gift so wouldn't she realize she was there once she opened the wedding present?

[–] Useless_Chick_23 16 years ago

I always assumed that Betty Heslop was so hurt at the church that she took off immediately (with the gift).

"FRA-GEE-LAY. That must be Italian!"
"I think that says 'fragile', honey."

[–] Samsha512 16 years ago

Aww, that makes sense. Also makes it even sadder.

Thanks for clearing it up for me.

[–] Useless_Chick_23 16 years ago

The whole deal with Betty makes me sad (and angry), especially when she's in the car with Bill and says, "But I meant to pay" and he just turns the radio up.

"FRA-GEE-LAY. That must be Italian!"
"I think that says 'fragile', honey."

[–] groovycam 16 years ago

Oh, i know. That really broke my heart. If that silly nosie cow hadn't grassed on her about those shoes. I mean if she had intended to steal some shoes, she wouldn't have went to pay for the rest of her shopping. And the shoes were only like 2 pounds or something.

Also when he just bluntly tells her that she's a disgrace, he wants a divorce and he's marry that cow, all in one go....gosh, that was just cold.

lol...sorry, just went on a little ramble. But i just watched it today, cause my mum told me i really loved it as i child, but i couldn't remember it, lol

[–] Zacef 16 years ago

yeh it completley makes sense that she just walked away when he daughter failed to see her...

i hated the dad more throughout the film. how could he hate his wife so much after all the years and kids she gave him. he didnt even cry a tear at her funeral - he was more interested in the press. didnt any of the kids feel like ripping him to shreads???

so sad

[–] alicorna 14 years ago

Just for the record, Australia hasn't had pounds as money since 1966. The currency of Australia is decimal, and the name of the currency is the Australian Dollar (AUD).

Just saying. ;)

[–] WanderingGeek 14 years ago

Let's not forget, right before Muriel missed Betty, David calls Dedrie "Mrs. Heslop"

I'm Tracy Jordan. I'm black NBC. Very proud, like peacocks. Right, Janet? - 30 Rock

[–] LadyDi4476 12 years ago

Let's not forget, right before Muriel missed Betty, David calls Dedrie "Mrs. Heslop"

And she didn't correct him by saying "she's not my mother". Muriel was so wrapped up in her day she lost sight of what was important which explains why she just walked by her own mom. :(

-Di

[–] JusticeAndSoda 16 years ago

Yeah that bit really got me too; it's when she says "I need help" that he turns up the radio. It's such a heartbreaking scene.

Jeanie Drynan as the Mum is superb throughout; her scenes were so convincing and so very sad.

[–] kewtblueyedboi3 16 years ago

- As I've said in another post, I find solace that the actress who plays Mrs. Heslop is still alive!

What a heartbreaking movie. I found myself practically bawling my eyes out because of the hardships Betty endures. :-( What an ironic movie.

"I need sex for a clear complexion... but I'd rather do it for love!" - Joan Crawford.

[–] kino_vamp 16 years ago

I need to re-watch the movie to confirm this, but I thought the photo Muriel sees of her mum showed Betty at the reception, sitting at a table with cake. My impression was always that Betty was there for wedding & reception, proud of her daughter & resigned as usual (heartbreakingly) to an unseen corner. I reckon Muriel was just so caught up in her dream at the wedding that she forgot entirely about things like seeing her mum. She became totally detached from what was real and important (like Rhonda as well), sacrificing the real relationships of her life in pursuit of 'the wedding' she mistakenly considered the ultimate proof of success. Later after her mum committed suicide and she saw the photo, I think it was a heartbreaking moment when Muriel realised what she'd thrown away to pursue a delusion.

Just my theories- like I said, I need to watch the movie again!

And no matter how you slice it, for me Betty was an incredibly truthful and tragic character. Just thinking about her story makes me cry!

[–] 16 years ago

[deleted]

[–] kino_vamp 16 years ago

Just re-watched the film & I had it a bit wrong- the photo of Betty seems unrelated to the wedding, just was behind all the clippings about it. And from the way Betty tears up after Muriel misses her at the church (can't believe I'd forgotten that!), she was clearly not so easily resigned to her lot!

I do still think that Muriel came to realise she'd thrown away so much in pursuit of a deluded ideal of success. I think her running out of the funeral service was in part the pain of realising how much she'd hurt her mum (when the minister says the wedding was a highlight of Betty's life; later Muriel says to David "I'm just like him" about her Dad), and also maybe realising that marriage isn't the secret of 'success' (her mum was a bride & married, but obviously it wasn't the ticket to happiness that Muriel imagined it would be). Just a moment of painful truths.

[–] Finn08 16 years ago

The above poster made a really good point that I hadn't thought about before: that Muriel realized that getting married wasn't a guarantee of happiness or success, that her mother had been married but didn't have a good life. However I think the reason that she ran out was first because she realized that her father didn't care about her mother (especially when he said "how many people get telegrams from former prime ministers when someone in their family dies", he referred to her mother as "somebody" and made her death about him), then when the minister spoke about how much the wedding had meant to her mother she realized that she had treated her mother in the same way. She had taken her for granted and failed to see her as a person, only as someone playing a part in her (Muriel's) life. She felt not only shame because of her father, but also herself.

[–] nitro2038 16 years ago

Absolutely my thoughts too. Her mother would definately have sat in a quiet spot just waiting for Muriel (or Mariel by then) to come over and say hello.....but it didn't happen. I feel sad now :-(

[–] RubyRidingHood 12 years ago

Every time I watch this movie, I always feel so sorry for the mom. Her husband was a disgusting adulterer, her children were lazy and made nothing of themselves in life. This poor woman was depressed. I hated the scene when she yelled at her son to go out and get a job and tells him he's an embarrassment, and he hits her and says "YOU'RE THE EMBARRASSMENT YOU TWIT!" That was so terrible. No mom should ever be treated like that.

I sometimes don't read the bottom of posts because I think it's a signature.

[–] loumcp 12 years ago

I think it's important to remember that the Heslop kids were bullied and put down by their father over and over again. Children who are told they're useless often enough, come to believe it. When Betty screamed at Perry to stop embarrassing his father, she was taking it out on the wrong person, not that you could blame the poor woman but they were all suffering as a result of Bill's constant verbal abuse and self-centredness.

I'm not sure he faced sufficient consequences for driving Betty to her grave, the pig. Yes, he lost it all in the end, but it wound up just a tad too neatly for a man who had emotionally savaged his wife to death. I just kept thinking "But....but hang on! The mother of his children has died!" I suppose it had to wind up somewhere though. I'd like to imagine that the mongrel was haunted by it for awhile.

I'd have also liked to see one of Betty's daughters slap Dierdre's over-made up face hard for being in their mother's house going through her things, and saying of Betty's death "She made the ultimate sacrifice for your father....in the end she'd be glad her life amounted to something." COW.

[–] riverwalk 11 years ago

Ive actually said that it b4 but i don't think bill was the villain people here make him out to be, he seemed over fixated in his career and attempting to succeed in it but i certainly don't think he was evil. In the end he realised he lost it all and seemed to be on the road to redemption and make amends with the kids, it still was'nt too late.

[–] jmistrice 10 years ago

Doesn't anyone see that the mother was part of the problem too? She chose to marry that man and she chose to stay with him and have 4 children with him, in spite of his vicious behavior. Yes, they made nothing of themselves and weren't motivated to change that, but that was because they had a father who was abusive and a mother who was lackadaisical about stopping that abuse. She didn't counter the abuse and let it go on and on. Betty is taking her anger out on the wrong person, as the other poster said.

[–] moosefeathers 11 years ago

Yes, the clipping of Betty at the wedding.

She was more upset that she wasn't the "traditional mother of the bride" especially after she saw Deidre up a the front acting as such. she felt at that point, she had lost everything to Deidre, even her children...I do think she felt that Muriel was the one she could actually relate to out of all of her children, and now she was in Deidre's clutches, from her viewpoint! Which led to the suicide of course

Just my opinion.

Swing away, Merrill....Merrill, swing away...

[–] willowey 11 years ago

I felt pain for the mother (the writers could have at least given her a proper name) as well. I've wondered why she would have merried Bill in the first place. Maybe he wasn't as bad when he was younger? The whole family is lost on dignity. It's a shame.

Love each other despite our imperfections.
- Amber Benson

[–] moosefeathers 11 years ago

What's wrong with Betty?

Swing away, Merrill....Merrill, swing away...

[–] cleftheart101 11 years ago

by - willowey

I felt pain for the mother (the writers could have at least given her a proper name) as well.

What do you mean? Proper name???

- - -
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Question about Muriel/Mom at the wedding **MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS**

Question about Muriel/Mom at the wedding MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS