What's wrong with the mother?
Why does the mother in the film act so .. peculiar? Especially in the first few scenes, where she puts the tea in the microwave, and so on? What's wrong with her?
shareAfter having such a hard life and being constantly insulted and abused by her husband and used by her children, she just has a hard time dealing with life. I feel SO sorry for her. She is treated badly throughout the whole film.
It's so sad
I do feel sorry for her, but nobody is forcing her to stay with him, and it's not as if he abuses her physically. As for the kids, they're just being kids. Every mother puts up with it.
shareI more or less got the impression that she was chronically or maybe clinically depressed.
shareThe Heslops are a very dysfunctional family. I feel very sorry for the mother. Emotional & Verbal abuse can be just as bad or worse than physical abuse. I'm sure she is in the same position as many other women who have been in this situation that feel they don't have any other option, or believe it will get better. She was obviously very beaten down by years of abuse. As for
Muriel and her siblings, besides the 2 younger kids I think Muriel, Perry and Joanie are all adults and are just freeloading at home. Though they apparently have been through years of abuse also. The youngest girl in the family really shows how much they disregard the mother in the scene after the mothers death and Muriel comes in and Penelope is on the phone with a friend talking about the boy that she likes coming to the funeral.
Jeanie Drynan played Betty Heslop heartbreakingly well.
She's got depression, and no one seems to have noticed. Probably why she's got it in the first place. Plus, she's well aware her husband is having an affair with Deirdre x
shareyeah, i was a kid when i first saw this movie, i so wanted to get my hands on there son, he rele anoyin, i still cant watch the scene when she comes into the church, an muriel misses her as she leaves, jus so sad, her face lights up, then is torn down when her daughter dosnt notice her
shareWell, as for the youngest daughter, different people deal with death in their own ways. By acting the way she does, it might be her way of dealing with the pain of the loss of her mother.
shareOr the kids believe their mother is a useless human being. If you grow up in a home like that with your father telling you that you and the rest of your family are useless....you start to believe it. Why should she care about her mother's death if no one else does? She was never taught to respect her mother. She's bought into her father's lies and so her mother's death probably doesn't really matter to her.
share
Well said, Cloudburst.
Or the kids believe their mother is a useless human being. If you grow up in a home like that with your father telling you that you and the rest of your family are useless....you start to believe it. Why should she care about her mother's death if no one else does? She was never taught to respect her mother. She's bought into her father's lies and so her mother's death probably doesn't really matter to her.
no, the reason why the mother's death affects muriel so much is because she sees that everyone is lying to each other or themselves. muriel lies a lot to others but especially to herself. muriel's dad lies a ton for personal gain in hopes that all the things he does/manipulates makes him a somebody (e.g. he makes a big deal about the ex PM sending him a note of condolence).
but the most tragic figure is muriel's mother who lies to herself.
Muriel's mom thinks that her husband and children define her and that without them she is a nobody--which is Muriel's own biggest fear in the beginning and throughout much of the film.
Muriel finally understands that living life through other people and their expectations is b.s. and goes after what she wants in the end. I wish she stayed with the South African and gives the dude a chance--but she just wants to stop ALL the lies and pretensions.
Good movie. :] share
I wasn't referring to Muriel here. I was referring to the youngest daughter. I was making my observation based on this quotes from two previous posters...
The first poster said:
"The youngest girl in the family really shows how much they disregard the mother in the scene after the mothers death and Muriel comes in and Penelope is on the phone with a friend talking about the boy that she likes coming to the funeral."
The reply was from another poster was:
"Well, as for the youngest daughter, different people deal with death in their own ways. By acting the way she does, it might be her way of dealing with the pain of the loss of her mother."
My comment was directed at the reply to the first quote.
There is also another boy, as well, but we don't see him say anything, that I recall, until he explains why mum burned the grass.
shareI thought the girl on the phone was the father's girlfriend's daughter. She seemed completely removed from the situation. a child THAT young would be having a different reaction than chatting on the phone plus she didn't even acknowledge Muriel when she walked into the room(as a sister).
shareYou have no clue about emotional abuse. After years of being mistreated and called useless, discarded like she is nothing, do you really think she felt she had any hope of finding anything better?
sharePffft the fact that she would have no money, has stayed home with kids and foregone any meaningful career, no money, as well as having low self-esteem due to the constant belittling? How can she leave, where would she go? A person in her position wouldn't have the wherewithal to go anywhere!
share
"After having such a hard life and being constantly insulted and abused by her husband and used by her children, she just has a hard time dealing with life. I feel SO sorry for her. She is treated badly throughout the whole film."
That is so well put, there's really no need to add anything.
It sums up much of what has been said here. Yes, of course she is "clinically depressed" -- because that's just the "clinical" term for her state. As for the reasons, see the wonderful description above.
As for her not being physically abused... my God, psychological abuse can be much MUCH more crippling than any amount of physical violence! (Especially long-term and consistent, as in this case.)
And so: no, nobody *is* forcing her to stay -- by constant neglect, abuse and humiliation she *had* been forced, long ago, into a role that is unworthy of anyone; she's been turned into a door mat. She can't leave because she doesn't have any will to live (for herself).
If she weren't a mother, I am sure she might have considered leaving the husband. But those children were the only light (however dim) of her married life, her only reason to live.
It's so unbearably poignant to see her trying to take the blame for everything ("or maybe I wrote the wrong sum?" she asks hopefully, after Muriel/Mariel had misused her blank checks!) -- because it's actually much easier for a mother to bear the burden of guilt than seeing a child of hers being blamed.
And in the end, when she SEES, as if for the first time, that even her precious children take her for granted and treat her like a servant, she just can't take it anymore.
And BTW, I am not an a priori victim-hailer. Also, she is not the only victim in the family -- others have also been victimised by her allowing a situation like that to go on. (But that's a long story.)
Anyway, a great tragic figure, wonderfully acted -- and criminally overlooked by them award-bestowers.
Ah well, it figures...
half a year later...In true life, if you lived through decades of life like what is shown in this movie, would you be able to live. Or would your only possible way to live be that of a life in a bubble? If you just see insults and other verbal downgrades why not take them over, as kids. Showing this is probably the saddest part of the whole movie. Mariel/Muriel realizes that at the funeral, for the first time she realizes that her whole live has been full of hatred and lies, finally she finds her freedom. My point of view. Beautiful movie!
shareWell said, particularly this bit:
"And so: no, nobody *is* forcing her to stay -- by constant neglect, abuse and humiliation she *had* been forced, long ago, into a role that is unworthy of anyone; she's been turned into a door mat. She can't leave because she doesn't have any will to live (for herself)."
That's why she took the pills and killed herself; facing life on her own, fending for herself, with no means of support... it was just too much to bear.
The mom character broke my heart. I felt so terribly for her.
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