I love Diane Wiest's:
"What am I? Just a vain broadway LEGEND."
"Pungent, seething artist."
David Shayne: "You thought my first draft was c-cerebral and tepid?"
Helen Sinclair: "Only the plot and the dialogue. But this...!"
I think that the delivery that Jennifer Tilly, Dianne Weist, and Tracey Ullman gave on the majority of their lines made them favorites of mine.
But my personal favorite lines would be:
David: Yes, Masochism is someone who enjoys pain.
Warner: As opposed to sadism.
David: Right.
Olive: Someone who like pain? What is she retarded?
Venus: mmm-mmm-mm. I sure pitties the poor folks who gonna have to pay to see this play.
Helen: How long has it been since you have had a real hemorrage?
Helen: You stand on the brink of greatness. The world will open to you like an oyster. No, no, not like an oyster. The world will open to you like a magnificent vagina.
Cusack screaming out the window: "I'm a whore!" excellent.
shareThe scene where Tilly and Palmentari are running lines and start screaming "SHUT UP!" "YOU SHUT UP!". hilarious.
"I won the 'get the crap kicked outta ya' contest!"
<<The scene where Tilly and Palmentari are running lines and start screaming "SHUT UP!" "YOU SHUT UP!". hilarious. >>
I can't tell you how much I agree! The comic chemistry between those two is AMAZING!
"Oh my God, I sold myself out! I'm a WHORE! I'm a PROSTITUTE!"
"To me love is very deep, sex only has to go a few inches."
A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste
Dianne Wiest and John Cusack enter a speak easy and Dianne goes to the bartender,"Two Martini's, please."
Cusack exclaims, "How did you know what I want!?"
Dianna: "Oh, you want one? Make that three Martini's."
That's probably not it, exactly, but it's something like that.
David: Your taste is exquisite.
Helen: No. My taste is impeccable. My eyes are exquisite
Olive "I ain't in the mood."
Venus :"You better GET in the mood, honey, cause he's payin the rent."
And just about anything Dianne Wiest says.
"Ah, ya's fancy pants, alla ya's"
"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli."
i can't remember the exact verbage, but...
david: is there anything in the original script that you liked?
helen: the set direction was perfect. the best i've seen. and the color of the binder was nice. excellent choice.
the color of the binder- excellent choice.
"this is no place/this is no place/to be addicted to another place"
"You want ME to play some frumpy housewife who gets dumped for a flapper?! Don't you know who I am? Don't you know who your represent? I'm HELEN SIN-CLAH!!!" "Definitely! You are Definitely Helen Sinclair! I look at you and I say Helen Sinclair!"
"...I never play frumps or virgins!"
"He did it! He stole the yummies!"
"The point is that I can give pleasure many, many times a day."
"What does quantity have to do with anything?"
"Quantity affects quality!"
"Who says so?"
"Karl Marx!"
"Oh so now we're talking economics?!"
"Sex IS economics!"
You took too much man, you took too much, too much!
[deleted]
There's Mrs. Alving, there's Uncle Vanya, there's Cordelia, there's Ophelia, CLYTEMNESTRA!
And then the deathless:
Is that a MUTT????....I HATE mutts!!!!
DON'T SPEAK!!!!!
sharelool, I can't believe it took so long for you guys to nominate what is surely the best line in this film! "don't speak!" Dianne Wiest's delivery is brilliant. The one that made me laugh most however has to be when Cheech says it right at the end. lol
Film and Jim Carrey fansite with forum:
http://cablogula.tripod.com
I'm not quoting exactly, but it's something like:
Ullman: "Darling, could you give me that cue a little faster? When you're quoting Shakespeare?"
Tilly: "I always forget the second part..."
Ullman: (after a beat) "It's 'or not to be", darling."
Tracy Ullman's timing in that exchange is perfection.
[deleted]
Sheldon Flender: [bragging] I have never had a play produced. That's right. And I've written one play a year for the past twenty years.
David Shayne: Yes, but that's because you're a genius. And the proof is that both common people and intellectuals find your work completely incoherent. Means you're a genius.
[deleted]
Cheech:
"Hey did you hear what she said? She doesn't what her speech taken away from her, alright?"
"Look I'd rather be shootin crap myself but Mr. V. told me that she's gotta be up there a lot."
"I don't care. You want to get slapped here or you want me to take ya outside, and we'll straighten it out there? It's up to you."
When he starts walking down the isle toward the director and starts in with the line I start smiling. I love the options. "It's up to you."