I agree killing the baby was a little dramatic but I think you just have to analyze the whole scene to understand it. He was abusive and stole her innocence and while she was at home dedicating her life to him he was out with other women. It's hard to understand because in modern civilization we are taught to be independent and think "well if he doesnt like me who cares" while Chinese women use to be COMPLETELY dependent of the men they married. She could have set the house on fire, broken every dish, ran away but none of it would of hurt him because he still had his pride and joy, his son to carry on his name and legacy. Yeah you could say she could have left him with her son because it's not like he would have grown up to be like him but you have to also take into account how hard it is for an uneducated person who has no money to do this (note that you cant just go out in the streets asking for help in a place where everyone has the same mentality), while leaving on her own without her son is worse because then he would grow up to be just like his father. She did realize too late what she was doing and in the book it is different but the whole message in my opinion that the scene was trying to portray is how sad it is for someone who dedicated her life to another yet has such little power in her way to affect him because she is a woman that she has to further damage and kill a part of herself in order to fully make a point. As far as why she's so damaged in the future, I agree it's a woman thing your baby grows from inside of you, you feel every moment of it so wether it's in terms of the book or movie it's understandable.
Sorry for it being so long, hope it helps you understand more.
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