Last of the mohawks the live action film

Last of the mohicans AKA first of the homosexuals


MINOR SPOILERS FOR A FILM ABOUT SHITTY HAIRCUTS


-so this film is about some white irish man (who pretends he's english in real life) pretending he's

american while pretending he's a native savage with a mohican

-the film starts with this same white guy

-lets call him daniel day lewis

-and he's hanging round these other little native looking guys

-and they're busy doing what all natives do

-which is hunting deer apparently

-and there's these smug english cunts

-fighting some smug french cunts

-but one of the english cunts is some hot posh girl

-and one of the english soldiers is trying to bang her

-but he looks weird so she's like "nah i only like u as a friend lol"

-playing all hard to get until she meets daniel day lewis

-and within 10 minutes he's fingering her round the side of a barn

-anyway at one point one of the mohicans turns out to be a bad guy

-sneaky fuck basically justifying british colonialism

-and these cunts have the worst (but apparently most effective) form of attack i've ever seen

-so like they wait in the forest

-and when they see their enemies walk past

-no matter the distance

-they run at them screaming while brandishing a melee weapon

-and it works everytime

-the posh english cunts just let do it

-even though they have guns

-and military training

-the music's pretty good though

-probably the best part

-and the film reminded me of The Mission

-so yeah

-also why are these fucks named after a hairstyle anyway?

-7/10