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2 Questions about Mr. Mayes' Behavior (SPOILERS)

posted 19 years ago by dancinjinn
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OK, I know this movie was based on a true story so I'm really curious if either of these things struck anyone else as strange.

The first thing was when Mrs. Mayes was dying in the hospital and she told her husband she didn't want him to visit her anymore because she didn't want him to see her that way. First, I thought that was a little odd. I would think I would want my husband with me if I were dying. But what struck me as even more odd was Mr. Mayes' reaction. He said things like "I like coming here" and then quickly gave in. I understand that he was respecting her request, but I would have expected a MUCH stronger reaction from someone in his position. I would think he would tell her how much he loved her and wanted/needed to be with her. When she said "Is this what you married?" (indicating her wasted appearance), I would have expected him to say "Yes! You're still the woman I love - I don't care about your hair"...or something along those lines. The movie seemed to indicate that they had an ideal marriage before she got sick and I had never heard of a reaction like this to a terminal illness (it could happen all the time - I've just never heard of it myself).

The second thing was when Mr. Mayes cut Kimberly's grandparents out of her life after his wife died. That seemed pretty cold. Did Kimberly think her step-mother was her real mother? That's what it seemed to imply whey he said to Margaret something like "She doesn't even know who Barbara was". But if that's the case, the conversation between him and Kimberly when he told her about her "first Mommy" seemed pretty mild. She seemed to take it in stride that her step-mother wasn't her real mother (like maybe she already knew). If she thought her step-mother was her real mother (before that conversation), I would have expected her to be more upset when she learned the truth. But if she did know, why cut the grandparents out of her life? Also, if she DID think the step-mother was her real mother, it would be even MORE traumatic that the woman apparently just walked out of her life.

Long post but does anyone have any thoughts on these things?
thanks

[–] abdool3 19 years ago

those things are true - Read the book to get more info- Barbara did not want her husband to see her anymore- she filed for divorce and when she was wheeled in the judge saw her condition and refused to grant it because Bob had all the medical insurance that Barbra would need. Barbra had custody of Kim until she died which wasnt long after. Bob married Cindy quickly after Barbras death and she had her own daughter two years older than Kim. He did not want Merle and Velma Coker (Barbras parents) to see Kimberly. But the movie does not mention that long before Kim turned six Bob and Cindy agreed to let her see her grandparents -so that part is not true -before she was 6 , she had known that Cindy was her stepmom. Later when Cindy and Bob divorced Bob didnt want her to have vistation rights.

[–] Timberwolf_1019 19 years ago

Actually it is understandable. A lot of time people who are terminal do not want family members to see them because they want them to remember then as they were before not as they are then. Espically with children it is always the best. My great aunt died of cancer when I was about ten years old and I wanted to go see her so badly when she was in the hospital. I was very close to her and wanted to go and be with her to say goodbye. But she and my parents agreed that it would be better for me not to be there. To see her in pain and suffering was not something that I needed. I have very happy memories of her and it is nice to think about those times again. Also it is very hard to talk to a child about someone in their live dying. I don't think that it was right for him to not let them see her, but sometimes it is easy to let anger override what is for the best, and you can see that when he calmed down and got through his greif that he let them back into her life. So I can't blame him really at all. He was trying to do what is best for his daughter, and yes I know that she is not his by bioligical means but that dosen't make her any less his daughter.