MovieChat Forums > Sleeping with the Enemy (1991) Discussion > what a depressing life.

what a depressing life.

posted 8 years ago by angrygemini
10 replies | jump to latest

Laura is in her late twenties has not even had the chance to really find out who and what she wants in her life to make her happy. Its obvious she wanted to be independent and make her own money, and wanted a husband who could also be a best friend she could fully trust to not hurt her.

Suffering from beatings for three years is just sad, knowing she only has another option stay and endure martins "punishments" here and there, or try to leave and be punished again or killed, damnn.

This is a long post, but Martin pisses me off every time I watch the movie. He had everything, true love, sweet beautiful wife inside and out, and wealth, he saw laura as property he purchased. I wish they could have went deeper into how they met, I always wondered what laura was doing when they met, did she attend college, or have a career planned out.

She couldn't even better herself, allowed only to work three mornings a week and I'm positive no wife if martin would attend college, he figured her taking care of him and their home was enough for her.

Imagine every single day having to have everything perfect, your home, hair, attitude, and ready for sex whenever martin wanted. I wonder if he was married before laura and what happens with previous wife if he had one. Maybe she was wealthy and he feared she would fight him legally or be able to leave and move on. Laura by all means was perfect his picking.

Young,absolutely beautiful, uneducated well not on his level, no other living family besides a handicapped mother who he was later thought to have passed away.speaking of he was pissed she wanted her mom there, because she would know of his abuse. Laura didn't have a lot of resources, family to go to who are able to protect her, not financially stable, and naive.

He had to die, laura would have died eventually IMO from injuries all the horrible bruises the YMCA speaks of(stupid). He bashed her head, and kicked her in the crotch like kicking a dog while its down. He was lowlife no matter how rich he was, pure scum.

[–] leybadana 8 years ago

good interpretation, so accurate.

[–] Drooch (5333) 4 years ago

I think Laura needs to take responsibility for selecting a sociopath as a life partner. Sure, the beatings started after the honeymoon but the OCD and controlling behaviour must have been apparent early on.

I also don’t buy her reasons for not getting the hell outta there sooner. This isn’t Saudi Arabia, there are dedicated protections for women in her predicament.

Her escape plan was very flawed too. Secretly prepping herself and faking her death? Of course someone would eventually communicate with Martin about her, and in any case he’d never stop searching for her until someone stopped him.

I’m not sure it’s that easy to resurrect yourself like she does - what about your social security number and I.D.? You can’t just appear out of nowhere and get a credit card.

[–] sslssg (34223) 4 years ago

Statistically it takes 7 times for a woman to leave an abusive relationship for good. Sure the movie is flawed, but I also don’t buy her reasons for not getting the hell outta there sooner. This isn’t Saudi Arabia, there are dedicated protections for women in her predicament. isn't just so easy. Most women who experience physical abuse also experience financial abuse, and sadly women are 70 times more likely to be killed in the two weeks after leaving than at any other time during the relationship. When you really look at shelters for women, there is a shortage of space, and homelessness is a scary consideration, especially if there are children involved.

While this movie is fiction, there are a lot of men and women in abusive relationships who aren't able to get help, and only about 25% will report injuries to the police, and less than 35% will seek medical attention for their injuries. When there isn't a record of the abuse, it can make things difficult if things go to court.

I can't really comment on faking her death, but I would think that it's really not that easy.

[–] Drooch (5333) 4 years ago

I get that it could be difficult and inconvenient, but one could ameliorate that by telling family and friends that you’re planning to leave, there’d be plenty of support, and even if there wasn’t what choice do you have? The guy is a stone cold sociopath who is getting incrementally more violent, if you stay you’ll get killed, and certainly suffer a lifetime of heavy beatings.

Also, with the visible signs of battery she had she could easily convince a court of spousal abuse and get a hefty sum from him.

[–] sslssg (34223) 4 years ago

A lot of times in an abusive relationship they have been alienated from their family and friends. Emotional abuse tends to go along with the physical.

Again, I know this is a fictional movie, and not a really good one at that, but I do want to impress upon you that for most people in those situations, it's not just an easy decisions. While it seems to be such a simple solution, for those in that situation its not.

[–] Drooch (5333) 4 years ago

I know it’s not easy, I acknowledge that it’s inconvenient and oftentimes difficult, but when the alternative is routine battery and possible murder then you need to get the hell outta there and this ain’t Saudi - there are dedicated support networks available, and a very sympathetic legal system. Just leave.

[–] lemonhead1 (424) 2 years ago

You seem to forget one very important factor: his wealth. He had power and the ability to hire top notch private detectives, lawyers, hit men uf necessary. She had no friends/family nor any kind of support system. He controlled every aspect of her life. If she would've left, to say, a women's shelter, how long do you think it would've taken the SOB to find her? She couldn't start over and just leave because he would've found her and killed her. This was also over 30 years ago. Resources were there, but not as good as they are now. Leaving an abuser is extremely tough, but leaving a wealthy abuser is almost impossible!

[–] Patman111196 (1775) 2 years ago

Are abusers really this controlling though? I think his controlling behavior goes beyond typical abuse. I mean, rather than doing it himself, he had her put the towels in order and such to match to his standards. He also implied punishing her over VERY small things such as forcing her to get ready for the party on the beach and wearing a very specific dress to the party. She couldn't even pick her own hairstyle. I doubt most compulsive freaks would waste time being bothered so much at somebody else's hair rather than other stuff.

Also is Martin a legit sociopath? He at first seemed more like a guy who was messed up in the head rather than outright antisocial, but the way how he threatened two people at gunpoint without even flinching makes me think twice.

[–] Drooch (5333) 2 years ago

Still no excuse for her choosing a creepy, controlling life partner and staying in an abusive relationship as long as she did.

You’re painting a picture of Saudi Arabia, in the States wealthy husbands don’t typically hunt and kill their ex wives. If that was a real concern for her then, as mentioned, there are shelters and she can press charges which then brings in the possibility of restraining orders, and if she has proof of serious abuse then prison is on the table.

Dedicated institutions exist to protect women from abusive partners.

[–] WickedStorm (405) 4 years ago

I thought about that too. Did she commit identity theft to be able to get a job under a different name?

Also, how did she manage to save so much money without Martin knowing? As controlling as he was, wouldn't he make her account for every penny?