I love this Movie, but to 'Heal' after 6 Weeks of Therapy?

I personally can not say I have had experience with this specific situation however I don't know if you read the book but in the book the situation was a lot worst than it was in the movie. I am not saying what happened in the movie wasn't bad but......anyway he was seeing her everyday while he was there and he did get out a lot. I do agree that it may have been more realistic if he was seeing her for a longer period of time but hey, it was a movie. A real life situation may have been different. Sorry this post is so confusing but thats my opinion.

Lorelai:The government will close that day.Barbra Streisand will give her final concert... again.

I don't think that Tom was particularly "cured." We aren't really told what the time frame was between his leaving New York and the narration at the end regarding what road is life was on then. He wasn't really the one in therapy, and while he was deeply affected by the issues he discusses, the one that he was struggling to deal with was mostly the death of his brother. He allowed himself to shut off his feelings after Luke's death, but he wasn't irreparably damaged to the extent his sister was by their life events. What he did regain in New York was the ability to love again. Psychological healing is ongoing for most people, it doesn't happen all at once. As for children banding together, every family is different. It's good yours has come together.

One thing vampire children have to learn early on is don't run with a wooden stake

In my experience of growing up with a moderately violent father, and 4 siblings, us kids really bonded together against the "common enemy" of our parents. My friends all had real good relationships with their parents, but were always on the outs with their siblings. I always felt that it was one way or the other; either you had a great relationship with Mom & Dad, in which case your siblings were your "rivals" so to speak for your parents attentions and affections, or your parents treated you badly enough that the kids stuck together and became closer. I can see your point though, that if the abuse was bad enough you would have to put all you had towards survival. But my brothers sticking up for me and helping me to realize I wasn't the problem (I got the worst of the abuse as the oldest girl) is what helped me keep my sanity. Now as adults, we are all close with everyone, but not as close as when we were kids and we needed each other so much more.

This is a dose of real life, but in many cases, six sessions is all some insurance carriers will give you for therapy, at which time the doctor has to plead your case as needing more time. Sad reality. So since Tom was employed by a high school district - how else would he have paid for those pricy NY "sessions" [which apparently included the country home visits]

I don't know, cause I only saw the tail end of this movie last night on Oxygen, but I got the impression that Tom was seeing Susan only to help with her understanding of Savannah, not specifically to heal Tom.

BTW, I love the movie, strictly as a love story. I thought Nolte did his finest acting in the scene where he revealed the rape incidents.

I myself now am in love with a (single) woman, who in her youth has been raped several times. We are in our 8th week now. And we still have a long way to go. With all my heart I hope I am able to 'cure' her. Today I saw this movie for the first time. I was very touched by it. But in real life those thing may take many month's with setbacks and all.

What I will say is that everyone is different. One thing any therapist will not do is say that you're going to be cured in six months. That's why anger management clinicians have come under so much flak from psychologists. Any ways, it's entirely possible, especially considering his "therapy".

Michael

I'm not sure if this is right but here is my take on your comment:

Tom's wife says several times that he never says how he feels or uses humor to avoid communication. I think when he finally reveals what happened, I think that is what he meant. He was also able to talk about his problems a little more openly. I think he also realized that he was able to give his wife what she was asking for/needed - honesty, rather than humor.


I had something more clever, but they booed me off stage

Yeah, it was the same with my brothers and me, though it wasn't as bad at our house as it seems to have been in your home - more cold war with my parents than violence in a physical way (verbal abuse from one and coldness from the other). But even so, we learned to stuff our feelings and say nothing to anyone about anything, including to each other. There are still painful areas/memories that we don't talk about with each other, and I'm not sure if my brothers have talked about them with their wives, or told all of them to their wives. I left home 24 years ago, as the youngest, and it took me about 20 years (no therapy) to get to the point where I could let go and forgive and live like a person who simply has a right to exist. Most of my siblings escaped into drinking or drugs or promiscuity or petty crime or a combination. Lots of after-effects.

I don't think 6 weeks would have cured any of us any more than it would cure Savannah. And having an adulterous affair with your shrink (OK, your sister's shrink) would only compound Wingo's problems with his wife while hurting his relationship with his daughters and breaking their hearts (it's emotionally damaging - abuse - to children when their parents are unfaithful, shatters their trust). And a shrink who gets involved with someone who she's giving therapy to (even if they aren't calling it therapy) is WAY unprofessional. She ought to know that 'patients' can get fixated emotionally on their therapists. It doesn't matter that Tom isn't formally her patient. Anyone - teacher, coach, minister, priest, rabbi, shrink, guidance counsellor - who takes part in helping someone deal with powerfully painful situations/ memories needs to be aware that that vulnerable person may fixate on them, 'fall in love' or think of them as a 'saviour' and have unhealthy expectations of intimacy with them. So Lowenstein is being unprofessional and unwise, risking this man's marriage and family when she knows he's in an emotionally vulnerable state due to the things she has helped him unlock and express.

You just have to suspend your disbelief here. It's a story and it works like a story, not like real life. We don't need to expect our stories to be realistic down to the last detail.