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Man-Movie Encyclopedia Entry: Double Impact


Oh hell yes. Break out the head-butts and the black silk underwears, because this movie is just too goddamn burly and great for it's own good.

Before we begin, as an avid Van Damme fan, I find it amazing he's played his twin in THREE movies. It's a stretch if an actor ever does that once, but not our boy Jean. He's done that *beep* 3 times. Hell, 4 if you count TimeCop. Anyways....

Double Impact is the awesome story about 2 brothers, separated at birth. Their parents lived in Asia, and were the people behind the building of this massive tunnel in Hong Kong. Problem was, they had a business partner who was dabbling in some of the black market, shall we say. Welp, the dude wanted that money and the fame all to himself, so he had Chong Li from Bloodsport and his gang of merry Triads waste'em all. But Jean-Claude is such a stud, he can't even be killed as a *beep* baby. What a burly *beep* man. So, as it goes, everyone dies, sans the twins. The bodyguard [who should now be fired] of the late Paul Wagner takes Chad, and the nanny who ducked out the back of the car takes Alex. Let's flash forward to 25 years later...

Chad is a karate instructor, as well as aerobics. Now, per Jean-Claude's contract he MUST do the splits in every movie. So, he gets right to it here, impressing a bunch of tail. As the splits do, every time. Well, the bodyguard, who's name is Frank finally locates Alex in Hong Kong. The boys are now of age to reclaim what is rightfully theirs. So, we're off to Hong Kong!

First place the hit up is a nice little rough joint that Alex apparently frequents. Well, he's obviously the owner of the joint because the second Chad steps in, everyone calls him 'Boss' and the like. Then, some hot chick comes out of no where and puts the moves on Jean-Claude. Naturally. Well, as it turns out, she's girlfriend to Alex. Who shows up and head-butts Chad. So, what have we learned? The ONLY man who can steal a women from Jean-Claude Van Damme, is Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Once Chad wakes up, he hears Alex screaming about how the hell could you think he's me, and that he never would wear black-silk underwears. It's great. So, we all get the low-down, everyone's on board, and it's time to start some mean ass-kicking.

Well, almost. First we head out on a boat that belongs to Alex, and he's doing a bit of a deal here. Selling stolen Mercedes to Asian dudes. It turns out that Alex is a bit of a smuggler. Dig it. So, all of a sudden the cops show up. Alex, who apparently isn't down with all this, kicks the *beep* outta these guys, throws them to the water, and heads back to the wheel. Well, he can't seem to shake'em. So, Chad and Frank throw the cars into the water, and blow them up by....you guessed it, shooting the gas tanks. Well, this body of water seems to be about a mile or so in width. The cars take up about 20 feet of this mile. So obviously, the cop boat can in no way go around and their *beep* Hell yeah. No one catches Van Damme. Especially two of'em.

Well, soon we learn that Alex's girl...well, fiance actually, has been working for Nigel's company for the last 5 years. Nigel was Paul Wagner's partner. So, she has a super hard-time believing this story, and is asked to find out some info that will prove the whole sha-bang.

Meanwhile, Chad tries to go back to the hotel where him and Frank have been staying, only to be stopped by a group of thugs who think he's Alex. Long story short, they want him to go full time for the very Asian dude who helped Nigel kill their parents. Chad tells them to go *beep* themselves, and tries to beat everyone up. Would have worked, but Chong-Li stepped in. Minus the Harley Davidson bandanna and powder tablet. He beats up Chad, and shoves him in a cargo shell, then drops him off in the middle of the street.

They need a new place to crash.

So, Alex takes everyone to his secret hide-out. An old abandoned motel on an island. Everything's going great, except that Alex keeps suspecting his girl of cheating on him with Chad. Remember, only a Van Damme can steal a girl from a Van Damme. So, one night Alex gets super wasted, and that leads to him and Chad having it out. Hell yeah. JCVD vs. JCVD. A match made in Heaven. Welp, it's broken up. Probably because JCVD cannot beat himself, and if he did, all of time and space would unravel and we'd cease to exsist. So, they both go their seperate ways for the night, which is a good thing. Because the next morning, the bad guys show up to do some kidnapping.

Big mistake. No one kidnaps Van Damme's piece of ass unless it's....ah, you get it by now. So, it's to this big shipping yard for the final showdown with Chong-Li, and a mess of other bad dudes. It's way bad-ass. Especially the barrel kick that Van Damme does.

Double Impact is not only one of Van Damme's best movies, but it's also one of the best Man-Movies of all time. Despite the fact Jean gets a lot of *beep* for his acting, he does a great job of making you believe there's actually two guys here. Geoffrey Lewis is great here too. He's old, but still grissled. Fantastic way to spend any time.


Official Man Movie Encyclopedia Tally:
1-Liners: 0
Guys Beat Up: 22
Guys Killed: 32
Swear Words: 37
Boobs: 2
Explosions: 7
Slow-Motion Scenes: 47
Car Chases: 1 [the boat chase]
Foot Chases: 2
Broken Bones: 5
Fight/Shoot-Out In A Motel?: Yeap
Guy Get The Girl?: Yeap
Lead-Guy Smoke?: Yeap


Box-Office Business:
It opened up August 9th, 1991. Naturally the people who's nipples get hard to movies like The Godfather weren't digging this one too much, but those who know how to have fun liked it. Hell, even Roger Ebert said "Jean-Claude Van Damme this movie is good!". It racked up about 30 million dollars, after only spending about 16 mill on the budget.


4.75 Head-Butts out of 5

- Caliber

want more? Knew you would. Visit myspace.com/thecheapseat and get many more Man Movie Encyclopedia Entrys....

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[deleted]

Although I do love that line, it isn't a one-liner in the classic sense.

Such as Arnold's line after he breaks the guy's neck in Commando while they're on the plane;

"Please don't wake my friend, he's dead tired"

Oddly enough, Double Impact didn't have any. Which was bizarre, since it was in Van Damme's hayday.

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"Big surprise -- HUGE surprise."

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"What's it sposed to do, make my dick bigger?"

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Mr California, Mr Silk Undawear, Mr Perfection.

.../ `---____________|]
../_==o;;;;;;;;_____.:/
.. ), --.(_((_) /
..//(.)//
.//__//

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Griffith... you're dead. YOU'RE DEAD!

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You tink he's my brudda because he looks like me? Well, I'm gonna change dat because I'm gonna f@ck up his face.

"But it happened at sea! See? C for Catwoman!!"

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My impression of the above review:

Well, blah, blah, blah. So, blah, blah, blah. Well, blah, blah, blah. So, blah, blah, blah. Well, blah, blah, unfunny oneliner. So, blah, blah, blah. Etc. Ad infinitum.

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