MovieChat Forums > Double Impact (1991) Discussion > things i learned from this movie

things i learned from this movie

posted 19 years ago by Elianehasty
70 replies | jump to latest

1. when you just need a t and a star just tell her to keep the same dialogue with her about her job and griffith

2. when you dont trust your girlfriend and always suspect that she is screwing around on you, it is good to walk around your crap cottage drinking, hitting walls and dreaming of your brother having acrobatic sex with her

3. if you are snooping around your job the best thing to do is go right back where you almost got busted in the file room, where they surely have cameras if important files are there and from time to time a roided up girl who looks like she just curled ten sets of cement blocks on a bar comes in and bumps n grinds on you frisking you... oh yeah and after that call Chad or alex and tell them everything that happened while surely phones are tapped

[–] Dick_Douchestein 19 years ago

4. puffed up superman curl haircut + pink shorts = good van damme
slicked back pat riley haircut + permanently unlit cigar = bad van damme

5. the best way to get promoted from teaching a ballet massage class to teaching a karate class is to wear a nut hugging powder blue yeast infection leotard and a tank top from the baby gap

6. when you're being chased by a roided up bitch in a helicopter, don't worry because she definitely won't notice the boat you're in even if she already has seen you in there and it is the only boat floating in the ocean

7. always end a movie with a early 90s rap song with the chorus having something to do with the movie's title playing during the credits

8. you can get shot in the face from point blank range and only get a spider scar and 1 blue contact lense from it

9. whenever you have been kicked and hit in the face numerous times, instead of covering your face wounds it's best to hold your rib cage and give your brother the ok hand sign

10. a mercedes will automatically explode if you shoot at the trunk after dumping it into the ocean

[–] Elianehasty 19 years ago

11. your hand can be smashed in a grinder and come out looking the same as before just a little blood

12. you can fall two stories and land on your back without getting serious spinal injuries

13. always be a gentleman let the girl sleep on the floor and you sleep sitting in a chair leaning on your gun

14. if you have people captured inyour custody just torture them use them as bait then leave them alive so that you can forshadow that the twins will come alive and you will die

15. whenever invading your enemies territory always shoot a bunch of people cause massive explosions and also stand beside your twin brother and frank and pose so that they can see it is you that cause all the ruckus

16. when a huge barrel of gas is thrown at you the best way to stop it is a jump kick dont worry it will not jam your leg up

17. when fighting a guy twice your size best for both of you to take off your shirts and intimidate each other with your capital j yabels

[–] 19 years ago

[deleted]

[–] el_pieablo 19 years ago

19.Twins who have been seperated for 25 years can both be in the exact same shape when they meet up.

"When you are going to shoot, just shoot, dont talk"

[–] art_fonz 19 years ago

20. if someone grows up in hong kong, he adopts an american accent. if someone grows up in america, he adopts a french accent.

[–] 19 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Paulbg2000 19 years ago

22. In L.A. People wear Pink and Purple Karate Gis...

[–] parkermj 19 years ago

23. You can murder a rich industrialist with a crane, leaving your fingerprints over the controls, and take over his business no-questions-asked.

24. Tropical islands with abandoned hotels abound in the Hong Kong area.

[–] TheArtfulDodger 19 years ago

25. That Danielle should have known that never in his life would Alex wear black silk underwear.

26. That Chad is a fagget for wearing them.

[–] bohdave 19 years ago

27. Whenever a Hong Kong thug gets the drop on the hero with a huge, laser-sighted pistol, he will stand still and not shoot.

28. Plastic explosives will never be discovered, ever, so it's OK to place them in really obvious, visible places.

29. Moving your finger in a circle, then smacking your fist into your other palm is the universal sign for "I'm going to smash your face in with a barrel".

30. Shouting your adversarys name whilst chasing him doesn't help you catch them.

31. Geoffrey Lewis doesn't seem to like Sean Connery.

[–] Rasputin24 19 years ago

32. When Cory Everson has Van Damme in the sissor hold, he prefers to turn around and look at her crotch.

[–] bohdave 19 years ago

33. Chowing down on a cake is standard procedure after witnessing one of your business partners murdered with a knife right in front of you.

34. Powerful industrialists will hang around near a Triad hit they just organised so any survivors can instantly link them to it.

35. Women in LA instantly fall in love with Van Damme, hence them not becoming upset when he blatently feels them up in front of everyone in his aerobics class.

36. Don't ambush Alex when he enters a dark room on a tanker using a couple of guys with machine guns, instead send a guy to cut him up with sharp spurs.

37. Always lower the head henchwoman respectfully to the floor after you have killed her. Because you know, she's a girl.

38. The police will never solve the brutal double murder of an industrialist and his wife, and the kidknapping of his young twins if there is any chance said twins will dispense some vigilante justice in 25 years time, therefore doing their job for them.

39. The twin who cries the most when they are babies will grow up with inexplicable sissiness causing him to wear pink shorts and silk underwear.

40. A lookalike, a 25-year old photo and a 5 minute talk is enough to pursuade a hardened smuggler that he has a long lost twin brother and to turn on his super powerful and brutal business partners.

41. A lighter that has served you solidly for 25 years can be thrown away like yesterdays news with no hint of a reaction.
---
I may be a tiny chimney-sweep but I've got an enormous brush.

[–] 19 years ago

[deleted]

[–] bobbyoshea 19 years ago

Lol! I love that, it is funny, your right, Its a Van Damme movie though, you gotta remember, all his movies have cheesy parts in them, get over it and move on. I hope you have a dvd player, just skip those scenes and go straight for the action scenes!! Shake it up!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just the tip, just for a second, just to see how it feels

[–] manpaal1 18 years ago

' they dont get mercedes in hong kong'
' you dont ever wants to ask van damme to see one of your special kicks'
'i may have a grocery store in zimbabwae ive never heard of before'

[–] CE_LIONESS 18 years ago

45. Kevin Pollak was wrong. Jean-Claude Van Damme is only two people, not three chefs that ruined the soup.

"Jean! Claude! Van! Damme, I cannot serve this!!"

[–] ekim18 18 years ago

when jumping into the water, always, always do the perfect dive

[–] bohdave 18 years ago

47: If you put on some fatigues, a cap, some sunglasses and keep your head down you will be flawlessly disguised as an oriental Triad thug.

48: If you're trying to impersonate your twin brother in order to drop a bomb off at the bad guys nightclub, an operation that will result in your death should it go wrong, you should make no attempt whatsoever at mimicking his mannerisms and should instead just act like yourself, making stupid OK hand signs and basically raising suspicion.

---
I may be a tiny chimney-sweep but I've got an enormous brush.

[–] myers226 18 years ago

49: That Chad "can do the splits NO PROOOOOBLEM" because of his big legs and Karate.

If you have problems with me, IM here and I will be waiting.

[–] Majestic_Moose 18 years ago

50: Crates of cognac weigh nothing.

[–] eekstah 18 years ago

51: Even if Van Damme kicks you right in the throat, you will still be able to say "AAA-AAAH" while falling off the boat.

52: Drinking almost a battle of Whisky doesn't affect Alex' fighting.

53: When you're unarmed and about to ambush two guys holding some serious machine guns, you better scream out loud in advance to notify them.

54: The fuseboxes in Hong Kong have really bad wiring. Don't touch them, or they will immediately short cuircuit and you will be electrocuted.

[–] ken_grasby 18 years ago

55: When a girl is laying in front of you, you should say: "Beautiful, doing well!"

[–] 18 years ago

[deleted]

[–] capt_rhodes 18 years ago

58: gloveboxes often contained revolvers that, when removed, morph into pistols in the 70's

59: it's cool for middle-aged guys with loose skin to where a hat backwards

They're Coming To Get You, Barbra.....

[–] baghoomian 18 years ago

60. When your drinking whiskey and some of it is surprisingly in your nasal cavity always remember to shoot it out of your nose

61.when your a bartender whos boss is just a tad bit crazy you should completely forget thaT he swore to never wear pink shorts and that there is no way it could be a lookalike

62. If your boyfriend says he would never wear black silk underwear and one day he is wearing it and is less buff you should give him a blow job without asking why.

63. You obviously cannot feel traumitized when your uncle who has raised u for 25 years tells you he's not your uncle and your parents were brutally slaughtered by a bunch of crazy triad gangsters and you should avenge them

[–] Bob9000 18 years ago

64. Always outfit your personal army with camo caps bought at an Alabama truck stop

[–] OoZZy_Oo 18 years ago

65:Always jump in front of flying Bullets.

66: When In Hiding always go out to check out the Suspicious Helicopter flying above you.

67: One kick will always knock you out.

[–] bowserj1983 18 years ago

68: Don't fall for their trick!

[–] winslow_wong 18 years ago

69. you can bust glass cups with one hand to show you're ready to rumble

[–] hcadonis 18 years ago

70.That those Color me Badd suit outfits with square shoulders really do suck!!!!

71. That eating Chinese food will make my dick hard.

72. That the Icing on that Tanker Cake for Griffith really was too yucky!!

[–] Dream_Demon 18 years ago

73. Doing a roundhouse kick on the main thug will result in a punch to the balls.

Welcome to my Nightmare- Freddy Krueger

[–] saverem 18 years ago

Never forget to carry ammo in your crotch.

[–] arnoldishere2004 18 years ago

74. Never question Alex's deal making abilities.

75. That Griffith, even if he shaves his head, ain't Mr. Clean.

76. It's OK to sacrifice a punch to your mouth if you use the momentum from that punch to beautifully transition into a spinning back kick.

77. If you see a man walking toward you, screaming obsenities in a foreign language and reaching into his inside coat pocket, not to worry....he will give you cash money.

78. Trying to swim from hong kong to los angeles in the middle of the night will only result in you swimming in circles and ending up back in hong kong the next morning.

[–] anannya_sen 18 years ago

79. When you have dodged a large barrel and Bolo is unaware where you are, tap him on the shoulder first so that he knows it's you.

80. When trying to beat up a world class martial artist, a lot of grandiose jump spinning kicks will always win out over actual ability.

81. When Bolo is walking past you looking towards the sky, he's not daydreaming, he's actually about to use a tiger claw strike on your abdomen.

82. Remember that even if you get beaten up by Triads, they will always require bottles of cognac.

83. Always get someone to watch your back. And hope that he doesn't f@ck up.

84. Only ever mess with Dave Lea on screen as otherwise you'll get your butt handed to you. After all, he was Batman.

85. When throwing a kick at a friend, always remember the kiai you were taught - "Shumm Shaaa!!"

86. As you are driving through Hong Kong, instead of speaking Cantonese, say the words "how long" and "hotel" and point to your watch. Because no-one in Hong Kong actually speaks English.

Let's see if we can get this thing to 100.

[–] 18 years ago

[deleted]

[–] bohdave 18 years ago

79. When you have dodged a large barrel and Bolo is unaware where you are, tap him on the shoulder first so that he knows it's you.

80. When trying to beat up a world class martial artist, a lot of grandiose jump spinning kicks will always win out over actual ability.

81. When Bolo is walking past you looking towards the sky, he's not daydreaming, he's actually about to use a tiger claw strike on your abdomen.

82. Remember that even if you get beaten up by Triads, they will always require bottles of cognac.

83. Always get someone to watch your back. And hope that he doesn't f@ck up.

84. Only ever mess with Dave Lea on screen as otherwise you'll get your butt handed to you. After all, he was Batman.

85. When throwing a kick at a friend, always remember the kiai you were taught - "Shumm Shaaa!!"

86. As you are driving through Hong Kong, instead of speaking Cantonese, say the words "how long" and "hotel" and point to your watch. Because no-one in Hong Kong actually speaks English.

Let's see if we can get this thing to 100.

Haha! Those were brilliant, especially the "Shumm Shaaa" one. I always thought that noise he made was funny.

87. Karate and aerobics instructors from LA with a background in ballet have extensive knowledge of guns and explosives and know if you are being screwed in a weapons deal.

88. What have the Hong Kong marine police got in common with wild animals? They are both afraid of fire.

89. Large, powerful Triads like to hire goons that can be knocked out with one kick to the abdomen.

90. If you talk about the only law that Zhang knows you may get slapped.

91. If you are buying some mercedes, when you open your briefcase full of money you should point out that it is "cash" just incase the smuggler you're dealing with doesn't recognise it.

92. The best way to fool a Triad thug is to throw a piece of wood and hope that he thinks it's a trick and so looks in the opposite direction to which the sound came from, allowing you to creep up on him from the direction that you threw the wood in in the first place. Works every time!

93. If you are on a stealth mission and a guard walks past your hiding place, it's best to sneak up on him and kick him into a pile of barrels rather than stay hidden.

94. It's also a good idea, if you've just broken a guys neck to throw him and his chair backwards for your bro to catch regardless of the noise risk.

95. The only time a goon will ever get the drop on you is if he's within range of your buddy's sniper rifle.

96. If you fire a gun near a guy who's shouting "DON'T FALL FOR THAT TRICK!" he will instantly shut up for no reason, allowing the person he was shouting at to actually fall for that trick! How ironic.

97. If a pair of vigilante twins are killing their way through your cargo ship you should fake the death of a hostage to get them "on their way" because, you know, it's not like they were coming for you in the first place...

98. If your unarmed enemy is chasing you through narrow corridors made out of cargo containers you should fire at him before he rounds a corner, alerting him to your presence because just waiting for him to run blinding around the corner allowing you an easy kill is dishonorable.

99. If a hot chick is beckoning you to follow her in a fleapit Hong Kong bar, she probably wants to talk to you.

100. The first thing Alex does when knocking guys out is to check what kind of underwear they have on.

There we go... 100! :D

---
I may be a tiny chimney-sweep but I've got an enormous brush.

[–] anannya_sen 18 years ago

I'm still laughing at 87 and 88, but I couldn't resist adding one more:

101. If you have a shower and a shave then it's gonna be great.

"But it happened at sea? See? C for Catwoman!!"

[–] Mansewerz 18 years ago

102: Having a guy pose before a to the death fight means the guy that poses will lose and die.

103: Your twin brother that almost got it on with your hot girlfriend is obviously still a fagget because he wears black silk underwear and pink shorts.

104: If you're dealing with a drug dealer with a bodybuilder/martial artist driver, don't mention who you are, just tell him to go f@ck himself after you've been dropped off in the middle of nowhere.

[–] Soap_Distant 17 years ago

105. If you are an evil henchman, then you should always break the neck of an underling who gets sucker-kicked by a man who no one knew could do karate.

This will *not* cause fear and resentement amongst your "crew", but provide a healthy incentive to perform better themselves. They will absolutely *not* think you are completely deranged and cut your throat in your sleep in case they are next.

Besides, you will have saved your boss paying out a salary to a highly trained member of your entourage.

Everyone wins.

[–] monkeyskull 17 years ago

106. Cory Everson is hot. She is juicy. She likes girls. And damn, she is hot as *beep*.

[–] GradeZ 17 years ago

107. When you have to ask someone to trust you about how nice a shower and shave will be when you go back to the hotel, then it is a good bet that they think you are stupid or deceitful, even if they happen to be your fake uncle for 25 years and own a grocery store in Zimbabwe

108. "Nay, Jor Da Ho Ho" -- means "thank you for finding my grocery store in Zimbabwe" in Cantonese

109. In the face of unwaivering protest, the minute that you threaten to leave your tougher twin brother out of the action, he will immediately change his mind and join up with you to show you the "REAL ACTION, TOUGH GUY"

110. If a guy named Griffith shoots at you, dive into the nearest canal. There, you will most likely find an underwater tunnel that will route you directly behind him

111. Being a drunk is temporary, being a f*gg*t is forever

112. When you ask someone to show you their special "clicks," they will understand that you meant to say "kicks" and will attempt to attack you rather than make fun of the fact you said "clicks" instead of "kicks"

[–] dtaa 17 years ago

113. If during a fight with a hot girl in black outfit and armed with a knife she happens to grab your balls, slap that b**** and then stab her with her own knife, trust me, she'll never do it again!
114.Hong Kong is the best place to do business

[–] StanleyGodSpeed 13 years ago

HAHAHA.

Your Best? Losers always whine about thier best, winners go home and *beep* the prom queen.

[–] MadDog-ThrashTillDeath 12 years ago

60. 25 year older twins will look way older
61. Bolo Yeung can speak!!
62. beware of women bodybuilders

[–] experdev 17 years ago

Did you notice he blew the hard liqur outta his nose

[–] audaabutayi 17 years ago

115 - Geoffrey Lewis will not age a single day in 25 years, but he'll start shaving his head.

[–] jeff_stell 17 years ago

116 - Chad has a HUGE surprise for Danielle

117 - Using a knife you just stabbed a guy in the chest with to cut a cake is fine as long as you wipe it off first

118 - Griffth's hired muscle didn't care for the service they received from Alex's bartender

119 - Instead of just killing your enemy it's always smart to yell "Griffith!!!" alerting him to your presence and giving him a chance to shoot you before you drop a container on him.

120 - Half of me thinks Cory Everson is manly and disgusting, the other half of me wants to *beep* her brains out lol

[–] jinx20001 17 years ago

121. if pressing the red button on the phone is just too difficult to hang up, punching it across the room in peices will have to do.

122. if standing in a doorway thinking is stressful its always best to suck on a cigar and then spit that across the room to feel better.

123. twins will grow up and both have an accident resulting in a lump on their heads that is identical. because they are twins afterall.

124. Alex didnt use gel for his hair. clearly he thought superglue was more up to the job.

125. Chad will always be a fagget for boning Alex's bi@tch!

[–] quinn_larkins 17 years ago

126. If the enemy spots your boat from a helicopter, it's best to get rid of it, even if it's your only transportation back to the mainland.

127. When sneaking into the enemy's drug factory, if a bad guy walks by, all you have to do is crouch down and he'll pass by with out noticing you.

128. That Alex can fire two 9mm hand guns a hundred times with out reloading.

[–] adorm 17 years ago

129. After killing the people responsible for your parents death, if you throw up the "ok" sign, a machine gun sound affect will trigger.

130. That in the end of the day Alex goes home with his girlfriend and Chad is left with a bloody half naked Geoffrey Lewis

131. Eating Frogs will make your dick bigger

http://imdb.com/title/tt0105643/
Give it a 1/10

[–] HookahChamp 17 years ago

132. You should already know Alex would never wear black silk underwear

133. Don't let in people to your bar that have spurs on their cowboy boots...dont let in anyone with cowboy boots

134. Looks like its just chad and frankie, like always

135. At any moment your brother would dream that your brother is having wild acrobatic sex with your girlfriend

136. Always know that Chad wants to look at your special kick

137. YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN that after 25 years, Frankie is suddenly not Chad's uncle! and he was only raised in France, not born there like everyone including Chad thinks

IMDB MAKES ME TOUCH MYSELF

[–] r_cadell 17 years ago

138. Always question if your identical twin brother is actually your brother by saying "bruhhhther? whhhy becauuse he looks like me?". Then offer alternatives to a simple blood test by stating "i'm gonna change dat, i'm gonna *beep* up his face!".

[–] anannya_sen 17 years ago

139. Instead of giving your brother a kiss from your girlfriend, you should offer to kick his ass. In fact, when requested to do anything to your brother from your girlfriend, you should always substitute the request with kicking his ass.

140. There are plenty of reasons to love Hong Kong. But the best one is that you get cash money there. Not shares, bearer bonds, options and swaps or even bullion. But cash. Money.

"But it happened at sea? See? C for Catwoman!!"

[–] JDepp_Fan 17 years ago

Wow, i never thought that movies were like assignments and you had to observe them closely and learn things from them, here i was just watching them for nothing.

[–] tardesdete 16 years ago

That Alex drunkness will go away in the morning, but
Chad will allways be a *beep*

[–] 16 years ago

[deleted]

[–] lostinaction 16 years ago

If you get followed by a strange car and you know it's not your bodyguard you'll not call the police.

Don't listen to your Bodyguard if he says: Don't leave the car cause Killers can also shoot through windscreens.

Everybody in this movie even the most unimportant henchman was allowed to touch Katherine Wagner (Sarah-Jane Varley).

If a henchman tries to rape your wife you'll knock him down with your head.

If you try to rescue your wife you'll forget to look up if someones is hanging over you.

"Well, nobody's perfect."

[–] Sleazy_E 16 years ago

141. Chad is Mr California, Mr Silk Undawear, Mr Perfection.

142. People in Hong Kong like to give away free money.

143. Chad teaches dancing and his skills can be seen in KICKBOXER

144. Double Impact 2 will take place in Chads grocery store in Zimbabwe.

145. Alex deserves a UN award for bringing Mercedes in Hong Kong

146. There are no Mercedes in Hong Kong

147. Bolo should be the lead in an upcoming Donkey Kong movie.

148. Who the hell is the guy with the long black hair?????? And why does he want cognac???

149. Uuhhh sanda jacket

150. The chinese who comments Chad's jacket should get an oscar

151. Apparently Kirk Douglas wanted to make Double Impact

.../ `---____________|]
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[–] alabamamudflap 15 years ago

152. Big legs + Karate = Doing the splits nooooo problem. Back and forth. Back and forth...

[–] planetmutty 15 years ago

153. If you go to an abandoned hotel to plot your revenge against the criminals who murdered your parents, always take plenty of booze so you can get absolutely s-h-i-t-faced if you suspect your girl of cheating on you with your long-lost brother.

When I said I wanted to be a comedian, they all laughed at me. Well, they're not laughing now!

[–] parkchef 15 years ago

154) twin brothers who were seperated at a very young age, and grow up on opposite ends of the wold, will both grow up to be martial art masters!

155) You're not a man unless you eat frog.

156) eating frog is supposed to make you dick bigger.

157) It makes perfect sense to tell your hostage that he shouldn't worry because next time you're REALLY going to shoot him.

[–] Serbius 14 years ago

158) Bolo Yeung breaks car windows in a gently way;

159) Los Angeles karate teachers, also give ballet classes;

160) It takes 25 years to become completely bald;

161) There's always an abandoned hotel when you need one;

162) Hong Kong kingpin's favorite hideouts are cargo ships;

"You're a funny man, Sully, I like you. That's why I'm going to kill you last."

[–] Sam_Fisher_Agent_47 14 years ago

163. If JCVD motions you to jump in the water with his face, you better do it, don't even try to put up a fight.

_________________________________
Steven Seagal Fan Club President

[–] Iron_Leopard 13 years ago

164. Alex hates parties