Who the hell is the target audience?
1 part hardcore Arnold action, 1 part creepy-ass Oedipal villain, 1 part child abduction plot, 1 part domestic abuse subplot, 1 part rom-com between Arnold and the teacher, 1 part the weirdness that is Phoebe O'Hara, and 1 part hilarious Arnold-plays-with-kids jokes.
Really... what the hell?