Dingos ate an hour of my time!

First of all, I'm lying from the beginning, I only watched the movie for fifteen minutes. Which was enough time to hear Meryl Streep belt, "Dingos ate my baby!" That was all I needed to hear, and frankly, that was all that needed to be in the movie. I don't know what happened afterwards; if they had another baby, if they were charged with murder, or if Sam Neil saved Laura Dern from Velociraptors. The movie could have easily ended there, with the baby's disappearence, and Meryl Streep's hilarious line of maternal desperation. That was all I needed to hear, and that was all I wanted to hear, because, come on, what's a movie with Sam Neil that doesn't involve Raptor claws and cows being lowered into blood-hungry cretacious lizard's cage? This movie could have seriously benefited with more of Sam Neil, velociraptors and Jeff Goldblum. Wouldn't it of have sounded more cinematically pleasing if Meryl were to yell, "Raptors got my baby!" We all have a soft-spot for the razor-clawed, and with the friendly desert air, they would have thrived quite pleasingly. If Jeff Goldblum had made an appearnece in this film, it would have added the strong sexual appeal that it was so desperately lacking. His strong, brazen chest in the Austrailian summer says yes to box office gold. Moreover, if he would have spontaneously turned into a fly periodically throughout the Aussie film, I know I would have said, yes to, "Ticket number two please!" I strongly believe that this whole movie in itself was just a prequel to Jurassic Park. With the deserts, the fedora hats, the Sam Neils and the searching for children, how could someone not compare the two? Actually, it's not just this film. I believe in my heart, in the bottom of my Alan Grant loving heart, that anything made before Jurassic Park, that had Sam Neil in it, was just a prequel to what would soon become Jurassic Park. I'm sure, that in the 121 minutes that this film ran, there might have been some plot. Perhaps how the media absued the situation, or how Meryl Streep is a stupid woman for leaving a baby unattended in the middle of Dingo-infested terroritory, but, to be perfectly honest, I don't care. I saw Sam Neil. I saw his passion and his chemistry with Meryl Streep, but I can tell you what I didn't see; raptors. So, after I heard her scream those words after those infant-hungry canines feasted upon the fruit of her womb, I took that DVD out, and placed it back in it's box, where it shall stay. At least until they make a re-make that has CGI dingos, raptors, a power failure and electric fences. Jolly!
In conclusion, all Sam Neil movies, including Event Horizon and Bicentenial Man will be considered prequels or sequels to Jurassic Park. Jolly!