The alien song lyrics make no sense

Sometimes when you really listen to lyrics, you can realize how little sense they make. I am not even talking about (though I am tempted) the non-words that are inserted just for the rhythm, like "A-wop-bop-a-loo-mop-a-lop-bam-boom" and such.

I had a humorous idea of Extra-Terrestrial people studying this planet's people, they learn the languages but don't quite get the meaning of certain words a hundred per cent. They realize people are afraid of them, so they try to make a song to sing so people would feel easy and not be so scared when Earth people see them.

So they take the song in this movie (which has been featured, of course, in other things as well) and try to make their own version of a similar song with lyrics with the same meaning, just to 'fit in better' with Earth people so they would not arouse fear.

Here's what I got so far - I know a lot should still be tweaked and changed, some things are just placeholders, but just so people get the idea, as I think this could make a funny sketch or something..

The E.T.s would also watch 'The Muppet Show' and see the eagle trying to make the show 'sophisticated', so they would sing all this in the most pompous and serious way possible.

" - Hello my baby, Hello my Honey, hello my ragtime gal!

Greetings, infant that I own. Greetings to insect saliva product that is in my possession. Greetings to a syncopated female entity of a bipedal species.

- Send me a kiss by wire, baby, my heart's on fire!

Transfer an act of physical affection converted to a signal supported by weather-protected electrical conduit-based method of photon stream flow. Infant, you should know there is a thermal problem within the perimeter of the torso casing within the temporary physical vessel I happen to be inhabiting right now, which might lead to cardiovascular problems.

- If you refuse me, honey, you'll lose me, then you'll be
left alone, oh, baby

In the unfortunate case of you finding my proposals unacceptable, insect secretion product, my location shall manifest as obfuscated within the scanning apparatus available to you, after which, I predict, populating your personal perimeter will be rendered impossible, expression of astonishment, infant.

- Telephone and tell me I'm your own!

Suggested communication and information expressions at this time to rectify the situation include divulging data towards me that includes proof of legitimate possession of allodial title to the soul that comprises of the self usually referred to by the perpendicular pronoun.

- I've got a little baby, but she's out of sight,

The ownership of a growth-challenged infant has been granted to me, however, visibility to said infant is temporarily blocked and can't be accessed at this time. "