MovieChat Forums > Raising Arizona (1987) Discussion > Things I've Learned From Raising Arizona...

Things I've Learned From Raising Arizona...

posted 17 years ago by ExplorerDS6789
48 replies | jump to latest

This movie is hilarious, and it has taught me a few life lessons:

1. With chairs you got a dinette set. No chairs, you got dick.
2. Nathan Arizona cannot differentiate between sleeping in nothing and jammies with Yodas and sh*t on'em.
3. Nobody would shop at a store called "Unpainted Huffheins"
4. When digging yourself out of prison, it's always a good idea to scream really loud. Nobody will hear you.
5. It's customary for the Tempe police department to shoot aimlessly into a residential neighborhood, even if their suspect is an unarmed diaper bandit wearing 'hose over his head.
6. Convenient store clerks as well as supermarket cashiers always store firearms beneath the counter.
7. The Tempe police force cannot catch an unarmed robber on foot. But, are very convenient to ask directions for the nearest Dunkin Donuts.
8. When preparing crawdads, be sure to add sand.

Would anybody else care to add?

[–] 17 years ago

[deleted]

[–] witchery8 17 years ago

You never leave a man behind!

I'm quite a lovely person - apart from my terrible taste in pie.

[–] honkeymofo 17 years ago

Does the Pope where a funny hat? does he? and...

Does the Pope *beep* in the woods? hmmmm.....

[–] jpljr77 17 years ago

You can't the folks you're robbing to "freeze" and then "get down on the floor" since the two commands are physically at odds with one another.

[–] timberwolf530 17 years ago

1. What a "Way Homer" is.
2. Mobile homes don'e stand up to fights very well.
3. Police revolvers hold about 40 shots.
4. Arizona gas stations don't carry balloons in the funny shapes....unless round is funny.
5. Kids shouldn't be exposed to more than 3 hours a day of TV, either educational or football.

[–] mightyodinn 17 years ago

Water, not sand. (Sand was what they ate when there was no crawdads.)

[–] osprey216 17 years ago

he wasn't unarmed.

[–] 17 years ago

[deleted]

[–] doowopfan 17 years ago

if you are young and have your health, what would you want with a job?

[–] 17 years ago

[deleted]

[–] originalcyn99 17 years ago

Don't forget your dip-tet

[–] solidgameboy12-1 17 years ago

1. Mr. Mcdunnough Wet himself!
2. His name is Smalls. Leonard Smalls. His friends call him Lenny...
3. But he ain't got no friends.
4. It's appropriate to take your child to your parents final resting place.
5. It ain't armed robbery if the gun ain't loaded.
6. You can stage a chase that can go from a convenience store, several yards, a house another store and still get the Huggies you planned on stealing in the first place.
7. Gale and Evelle use codenames.

Please Turn Me Over ~ Mr. Blue Sky

[–] dmahnarch 16 years ago

'Paint Packs' are huge, manually set pieces of metal that you sneak into a bag when the bank robbers backs are turned.

You can fire an employee for not being a swinger and him punching you after you make an advance on his wife.

Rabbits need some blowin' up - and a hand grenade is the only tool for that job.

A small child left on the roof of a car in a seat will land perfectly on his bottom.

If you don't want to be tracked down don't use Pomade - ever.
("I'm a Dapper Dan man."}

You can be paroled on your 20th conviction by saying you've changed your life.

"Any last words, Punk?"
"Yeah. You're wife is good in bed."
"Oh. So you're a liar, too?"

[–] webslinger316 16 years ago

1. Beaufort already knows his A B C's
2. Glen can't have anymore kids on account of his semen, say that reminds me...
3. Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase.
4. Edwina should breast feed...she appears to be capable.

This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.

[–] johnnydelbravo 14 years ago

3. Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase.

I think it's "perches" (not "purchase").

[–] whecks 14 years ago

It's purchase.

[–] PopperTheKungFu-Dragon 9 years ago

Yup. Why would seed need perches 

Poorly Lived and Poorly Died, Poorly Buried and No One Cried

[–] Destinata (3335) 2 years ago

It really IS "purchase." It's a Southern expression...in some parts, anyway.

[–] mike_the_bloody 16 years ago

1. Some say Leonard Smalls is part hound dog
2. Watch your butts
3. Edwina is a flower, yes she is. Just a little desert flower

"You see I'm a guy of simple taste. I enjoy dynamite... gun powder... and gasoline!" - The Joker

[–] ShortyRobe45 16 years ago

The F.B.I.'s forte is tracking down microbes left from criminals and commies and sh*t.

Arizona highway workers walk down the highway with a sandwich in one hand and a fuc*kin head in the other.

Guys named Bill are mother scratchers.

[–] timothyhodge 16 years ago

• If you don't breast feed your baby, he'll grow to hate you for it.
• Before you go and do a stupid thing like bustin' up, I suggest you sleep on it.
• Getting the menstrual cramps real hard is proof you are trapped in a man's body.
• If you wanna find a doughnut shop, call a cop.
• Don't forget his phone call, Ed.
• Bustin' out of jail is not the same as releasing your self on your own recognizance.
• Jason is a Biblical name.
• Don't forget the instruction book. (Dr. Spock's guide)
• Being an officer of the law (twice decorated) kinda evens things out if you're married to a man with a checkered past.
• "Recidivism" is sure one bonehead name, yes sir.
• Never just tell the parole board what they want to hear, tell them the truth (which is what they want to hear).
• The Government sure do take a bite, don't she?

[–] jmhow 16 years ago

+ Slipping out with the boys and knocking back a couple of Coca Colas wouldn't be such a good idea.
+ It's a hard world for small things.
+ It takes three Polacks to screw in a light bulb because they're so darn stupid.
+ Reagan was a decent man but his advisers were confused.
+ $30,000 in the baby black market in 1954 will get you a lone biker of the apocalypse. Today, you need more than $25,000 to only get you a healthy baby.
+ Prison life is structured.
+ If you and your spouse are very happy you should have a critter.
+ The sun doesn't rise and set on the corner grocery.
+ Disposable diapers got them tape-ettes already on there. It's self-contained and fairly explanatory.
+ Bringing back the child you kidnapped means you are partly a good person.

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