https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUHMkwkpIBZ
The audience awaits...
The stage lights flicker as Hoagie stumbles onto the stage with a glass of something in hand.
The crowd chuckles but yet slightly uncomfortable.
As he stumbles around...
The comedy begins!
Hoagie’s Stand-Up act in 1999:
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. For those of you who don’t know me, my name’s Hoagie. Yes, like the sandwich but only less filling and far messier after a shark attack.
[Laughter]
You might recognize me from my… cinematic masterpiece. Or as I like to call it: Michael Caine Pays for a New House."
[Glug, glug, glug]
"Now, I know what you’re thinking: How does a man survive a plane crash, a shark attack and still have time to fall in love with a widow on a tropical island?
The answer is simple: Waga, waga, waga!"
(seen drunk in 1999 with vhs recent uploads on YT)
"You’ve got to give it to that shark though. A sea beast with the brain the size of a walnut"
*coughs* *coughs*
Hoagie continues:
"Not my nuts, but it makes you kind of wonder?
A salty ocean hitman or my wife? "
[Laughter]
Like, what did the Ellen do to deserve all of this?
Overdue library books?"
[Laughter]
Thank you ladies and gentleman...I'll be back soon hopefully.
"So cheers on y'all. And too the shark? You've got teeth?
Well I’ve got gin!
[Laughter]
And between the two of us, the ocean's never been more dangerous.
[He wobbles around but quickly steadies himself]
You know what the difference is between a doll's eyes and plane that barley flies?
[Does a little dance and waits]
Bottoms up!"
[Laughter]
Everyone in the audience erupts with a standing ovation!!!
"Oh My God!"
[stumbles around stage]
"Oh My God!
...