1. Harry Potter isn't a wizard he's a book critic.
2. Harry Potter Jr. would rather watch a "Star Trek" marathon than play with his sister.
3. Kids living close by isn't good for the swinging lifestyle.
4. Eunice St. Clair does whatever she damn well pleases.
5. June Lockhart has a great rack for an old broad.
6. Harry Potter Jr. learns magic and the history of magic from an elderly witch (who dressses just like Prof McGonigal)
7. Harry Potter Jr. has to stop and ancient troll wizard who has been possessing his sister.
8. The evil wizard troll tries to build take over the world and turn it to the dark side.
9. Harry Potter Jr. uses a magical staff that shoots lightning out of its tip.
10. June Lockart does have a great rack, and so does her daughter Ann.
11. Julia Louise Dryfuss looks great almost naked.
12. The only effect that magic has on Julia Louis-Dreyfus is to remove her clothes.
share13. Playboy Peter doesn't have any candy, and he doesn't play with toys. He doesn't play hide & seek either.
14. Playboy Peter can get the blonde in bed, but she won't cook breakfast.
15. Ratburgers are a great energy source~at least for a troll masquerading as a little girl. "Ratburgers! ARRRRRRR!" "More works!"
16. Harry Jr. has a pre-pubescent knock.
17. "Summertime Blues" rocks dishes!
18. Uncle Duke has seen about everything there is to see. He's stared death in the face! (He just can't handle a troll.)
~~MystMoonstruck~~
19. PG-rated films can include figurines with ridiculously-proportioned erections.
20. When trolls speak they squawk, but when they sing they're harmonious.
21. The sight of leafy tentacles emerging from a roof leads horrified bystanders to flock to the building instead of running for thier lives.
22. If you have to toss your cookies, Eunice's door is always open. But knock first.
23. Walkmans drown out the sound of fire alarms.
24. Books are bad because they knock our president each and every chance they get, leaving us open for the communist menace.
25. When you put mutant makeup on Sonny Bono, he looks like a cross between Ron Jeremy and Joe Spinell.
26. It would be interesting to know what day they dropped the bomb on Hiroshima, though it may not be relevant.
27. The name Turok was around long before the comic book.
28. Trolls have a fondness for humans who are thier own size.
29. If you stick a shade over a mushroom troll, neighborhood kids won't realize it's not a lamp.
30. Even if you explicitly set up an ending for a sequel, you can't expect that the sequel will have anything whatsoever to do with the first film.
31. If you read a lot, then you're weird.
32. A boy can go through puberty in a matter of seconds.
33. Eunice's pancakes are made from nosy kids.
34. It's perfectly acceptable for a grown man to befriend a little girl and accept a dinner invitation within minutes of having first met.
35. trolls are little people
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