494.Puffy, unlike Patch, lacks elfassurance.
share493. Heaven helps those who help their elf.
492. Towzer likes puce.
491. If you give extra kisses, you get bigger hugs.
490. Don't eat a bunch of magic candy canes and jump out the window or you'll flout out into space.
489. When B.Z. is intrigued, he drools on his tie.
Pleased to meet you. Hope you guess my name.
488. the super duper looper is the ONLY WAY!
487. homeless little boys make good friends
486. cornelia's step uncle will not tolderate a b-minus in geography
485. the vendegum prefer to be called elves
484. santa's favorite cookies are chocolate chip
483. that reindeer make straining noises when the magic food's giving them power to fly
482. that santa's willing to let homeless boys freeze on the streets til he returns one year later, without even bringing them a tent!
481. that anya claus knows a good recipe for pea soup
480. that there's a king elf living in the same grotto as santa and the vendegums
479. that one year santa gave all the children of the world wooden toys that broke easily
^ *loves number 482*
478. that Santa knows Patch had no idea
477. that Santa's bed is so comfortable
476. that Santa's original sleigh was craply made
475. that the vendegum sometimes pull each other's beards whilst painting toys
474. that reindeer like to look at themselves in sparkly mirrors
473. that BZ sometimes wonders about Towzer
The mirror... it's broken.
Yes, I know. I like it that way. Makes me look the way I feel.
Nice to see the ball rolling now.Other things that I have learn...
472.With enough money,a horse in a hoop skirt can get on TV.
471.Everyone in Mcdonald's, doesn't care about the homeless.
470. That homeless orphans can afford perfectly-fitted leather jackets and matching caps.
469. That one sack of flying dust is enough to produce millions of magic lollipops
468. That the North Pole doesn't look like this at all.
467. That Claus comes back when Anya can't see him.
The mirror... it's broken.
Yes, I know. I like it that way. Makes me look the way I feel.
466. Anya doesn't seem to miss female company at all.
465. Patch doesn't know much about money.
464. Joe told other kids about meeting Santa and they didn't believe him.
463. The kid in the window at the beginning doesn't know when Santa will get there
462. Santa spends everyday carving wood.
461. That BZ always has a stash of Candy canes in his draw to make an escape in case the police come calling.
460. Patch is exclusive with BZ Toys.
share459.) That Pabst blue ribbon is great in a wine glass.
458.) That in 1985, it must have been a stereotype that all black people eat at McDonalds, and that they only get the deep-fried chicken mcnuggets.
457.) That Towzer loves BZ
456.) That Burgess Meredith wishes he were dead before this movie was made.
455.) That John Lithgow is one of the greatest actors of all time.
454.) That this movie is way too nostalgic and that I wish it was 1987 again.
453. A young boy can very easily carry a block of wood in his coat and not let it fall out.
452. Little black kids will cheat at basketball by eating magic flying candy
451. Coca cola is good with a bread roll, ham and cheese, and when it is freezing cold, give little orphan kids cold food!
450. Rich people always make to much food for themselves and a young 10 year old girl.
449. BZ beleive that it is cheaper to put nuts, bolts and screws in a bear that fluff!
470. that cornelia's nanny can't eat another bite
469. that after dinner, her nanny likes to retire to the library to watch her masterpiece theatre
468. that BZ has NO COMMENT!!
467. that 'thank you santa' is a great tune....if only i could find an original!
466. That reindeer unlike most animals DO shed tears when they cry. Years ago I read that the majority of the animal kingdom do not cry like people do. However if this turned out to be a myth it wouldn't surprise me.
465. That Santa Claus in addition to ones requesting specific toys and/or gifts also accepts and responds to letters requesting his short-notice assistance any time of the year with rescuing kidnapped friends or relatives sent by any of the good boys or girls he brings presents to every December holiday season. Of course he would have been concerned with the safety of his elf Patch too but remember that when he first received and read the letter from Cornelia explaining what had happened to Joe he was unaware that Patch would have already rescued him so easily or that the two would even be found together.
Long live the 80's!
464. Cordelia called the police but she doesn't think they believed her!
463. Santa's wife is Hyacinth Bouquet's sister!
^ haha, the one without a swimming pool and room for a pony. :P
462. Towzer likes puce.
461. BZ likes senoritas in string bikinis.
460. Cornelia calls BZ her 'step-uncle' but BZ just calls her his niece.
459. If you throw a handful of gold glitter at a large sheet of green paper, the glitter will magically form into stars so long as you look really merry whilst doing it.
The mirror... it's broken.
Yes, I know. I like it that way. Makes me look the way I feel.
458. That there is no more Lab.
457. Christmas 2 is on March 25th
456. That red matches his cheeks and everything.
455. The A-Team like to eat at McDonald's.
454. That she is sure he hurts the poor kitten.
453. That Joe's 'Burning Up!'
452. That Patch has a great idea to heat the whole place using pipes. (you know pipes, long cylinder thingies?)
451. That from this day forward you shall be known as Santa Claus.
450. That children are busy 'Reading and writing, writing and reading'.
449. That Path isn't afriad the rock the sleigh.
448. That puce is a touch less lavender and a bit more pink.
447. That elves are unbelievably tolerable, especially after centuries and centuries of listening to the same tune over and over again, 365 days a year!!
446. That "It's Chriiiiiistmas - All over the world tonight"!!
445. That Santa is affronted when he's described as having a "little round belly, that shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly" - do not insult the generously bigger sized and more huggable people
444. That Santa DOES indeed check the list twice!!
443. That Patch practically bouces to mind!!
442. That a girl will not notice that the boy she's holding hands with is floating.
441. That a doll that wets itself is not popular on the market anymore.
440. That Santa only cares about 2 children in the world and not all of them!
439. That an ancient elf refuses to get his beard cut.
438. That Santa can fly upside down and not fall out of his sleigh.
437. That Cornelia's shortened name is Corny. (hahaha!)
436. Doing an over the top "loop the loop" is the only way to save two people in a flying car that is about about to blow up, instead of them jumping in the back of the sleigh as you fly underneith the car...
435. Being a rude-smart arse kid will grant you to be best friends with Santa and elfs...
434. BZ is gonna end up with arthritis from knuckle cracking...
432. Parents don't find it weird that un-explained toys turn up with Elf-Made stamped on them when Santa Claus is a myth...
431. Family Christmas movies are the perfect setting for product placement...
430. More toys could be made if the Elder Elf didn't have 8 elves to carry his beard...
429. Mrs Claus is to blame for the naughty and nice rule...
428. Santa Claus was Santa Claus before he was named it y and old elf who needs a beard trimmer...
427. BZ dolls are perfect for the home DIY enthusiast, enough nuts, bolts, srews, glass and sand per toy to repair almost anything...
heal the past...live for the present... dream the future...
426. The 80's sucked
share426. That if your young friend gets kidnapped, the first and only thing to do is write a distressed letter to Santa Claus.
427. That Coke cans were a helluva lot larger in the 1980s.
The mirror... it's broken.
Yes, I know. I like it that way. Makes me look the way I feel.
426. That Santa likes to pick up homeless people and let them drive his slay on Christmas Eve.
425. That nobody sees the flying sleigh and reindeer, despite the fact he flys at low altitudes.
424. Despite it being the 80s, the elves still havnt got round to making Nintendo games or VHS tapes for good little girls and boys.
423. It certainly is a Merry Christmas! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
422. Apparantly the police or consumer watchdogs arnt concerned that candy canes stores next to a radiator can cause an explosion large enough to level a factory.
421. Advertising on all the channels in all the countries WILL COST A FORTUNE! But you get bigger hugs outta the deal.
420. i'm sorry but its gotta be said - that santa cruises and picks up little homeless boys.
share419. Santa can't find the road
418. The bottom of Santa's old sleigh is held together by bits of old rope
417. Santa is convinced his 2 reindeer can get through all weather
416. Santa is immune to the stench coming from Joe's clothes he's had on for over a year
415. That Joe is a very selfish child, after he is given a home with Santa he frowns when he has to go to school.
414.
That 10 year old girls really like toy pianos meant for a 3 year old.
413. That it is perfectly normal for kids to get unknown candy under the tree and for adults to allow them to eat it.
412. The Mrs. Claus has lost all her fashion sense whilst stuck up at the North Pole.
411. That it is perfectly normal to fill up toys with nails and broken glass rather than stuffing, it makes them far more cuddly.
Oh and!!!
410. A factory that makes toys or candy simply cannot make those items without all the machines beinging painted in bright colors.
409. That homeless sick orphans should always be sent to the cold dark basement to get better.
408. Children must not make much $ selling drugs in the '80s, thus they are homeless
407. Drug addled youth believe that narcotic agents use a disguise of a sled and flying reindeer to bust drug-pushing homeless children on a roof
406. Santa thinks it is perfectly normal to leave a homeless child in a mansion in the middle of the night [perhaps to prove he is not a NARC]
405. Brawls in ballet classes are a common occurence
404. Alcohol does nothing to improve this movie
403.5 Deciduous trees in NYC still retain their leaves after the winter solstice
403. Smoking was perfectly acceptable in a courtroom in the '80s
402. I mystified why BZ Toys never manufactured and marketed 'Bag O Glass' and the upgrade 'Bag O Glass - Now With Lead-Based Paint'
401. That a flying car makes the same noises as my old Atari.
400. That a Super Duper Loop really is the only way.
399. That a man hyped up on Elf Dust can survive unprotected in space.
398. That poke-a-dots are an exceptable fashion for grown males...in the north pole.
397. An awkward love affair can exist between a vaigrent and a pris each with no parents.zzz
396. That in the 80's they mad incredibly ugly and large workout sweatshirts for yuppy 10 year olds too!
395. That an elf working in the north poll for 1000's of years can teach contemporary school lessons to modern children.
394. That Sheena Easton says it's Christmas...alllll oooovveerrrr tthhhheeee wooorrrlllldddd...., a statement that totally disregards other cultures, religions and timezones.
393. That the elves totally had this whole Santa thing planned out, they were just waiting for the right hypothermic Man to come along.
392. That Mr and Mrs. Claus where getting busy behind that wooden door bunk bed at the north pole.
391. That we have totally been lied to by ever other Christmas movie ever made, elves are NORMAL size!
390. That as advanced as the elves were... they did not improve or up date their toys and toy making for 100s of years.
389. That if it weren't for Mrs. Claus Santa would of looked like Mr. Hanky in a brown suit.
388. That I am still as confused as I was before as to why the elves are so happy all the time. Can't we just have one depressed alcoholic elf?
387. That I also still don't know where they were able to get or make all those bright dyes and colors, in a world full of only ice and snow?
386.
Although, you watch Mcdonald's customers devour their big macs through the window and lick your lips as if you have not eaten in years, you can't even score one fry.
385.
Don't watch this movie if you've got the munchies. REFER TO THE HAM THREAD :)
384. 1 part Cognac + 2 parts Pabst Blue Ribbon = Swanky celebration cocktail!
383. We should all encourage our 10 year old daughters to invite the homeless into their bedrooms at night. (This has become holiday tradition, like in that Christmas movie where Fred Savage befriends the homeless wino in an alley).
382. Elves are totally gay for the Equinox.
381. If a child overhears your plan to destroy Santa Clause, you should tie them to a heating pipe in the basement.
380. In the 80's all wealthy people lived as though they were in Jane Austin Novels.
379. Santa only reads letters from children who request: a blue and green wooden cart that works by manual pump action, or, a small figurine painstakingly carved from a single piece of poplar into the shape of whatever Santa Clause is preoccupied with at the moment. If you aren't one of these children, TOO BAD!!
378. The Christmas that Patch was Santas assistant, every child in the world got either a blue/yellow tricycle, a green cart or a red wagon. All were defective.
377. Despite Santas workshop being in an unknown location to 99.99% of people on Earth, most of the parents of said children were somewhow able to return the defective toys.
376. OD'ing on flying candy canes inbues you with the ability to breathe in space and be heard when talking/screaming.
375. Santa apparantly had no problems with being given a completely new permanent name by a decrepid old elf he had only just met.
374. Santas wife was also apparantly fine with this, despite the obvious knock on effect this would have on her.
373. Elves sleep in single beds, in shifts. And there are apparantly no female elves. Meaning that elves either reproduce through Mitosis or Asexual Reproduction.
372. Pipes are long cylinder thingies.
371. Patch is exclusive to BZ toys.
370. This is a miserable old world.
369. Juicing up the formula is elfexplanatory
368. When you have a hit like BZ people don't want to wait a whole year they want a sequel.
-Mithaearon, deep in The Medway Delta
Remember Cthulhu loves you.
367. You need eight reindeer.
366. Specially treated candy canes will explode if you keep them in a bunch in a back hatch of a flying car, but will not if you digest them.
365. Santa doesn't get top billing in the U.S., only in territories abroad.
(if you don't believe that, check out the U.S. trailer then the international trailer on the Anchor Bay 20th anniversary DVD)
Signature For Dummies:
Put your signature here.
364. Having your own kids is a perfect excuse for buying the DVD.
363. Little girls in the eighties wore puff sleeved nightdresses.
362. Little girls in the eighties always bought their cookies from Bloomingdales.
361. Chocolate chip cookies are Santa's favourite.
360. The word 'crap' is acceptable in children's films.
359. Never insult a small ballet child or you may get slapped.
358. Patch doesn't like being tied down to a desk.
357. Dramatic music must be played when you get demoted. (like when Patch lost his assistant's position)
356. Patch carries all his possessions in a bindle.
355. BZ Toys are highly flammable, and yet they are put by parents under equally flammable trees next to a roaring fire.
354. US senators don't seem to mind about BZ distributing toys anywhere else in the world, only in the United States.
353. The world must be a nice place because 'they send such nice letters from there'.
352. I have now seen this film more times than is probably sensible for a (nearly) twenty-five-year-old.
351. Patch is not a fairy.
350. BZ doesn't believe in Santa Claus, because he never brought him anything.
349. With enough money a horse in a hoop skirt can get on telly.
348. Patch finds turning your head purple a wonderful thing.
347. Despite knowing nothing about money, Patch understands the meaning of the word 'cheap'.
346. Santa stop giving toys in the 18th century to bad kids because of that little grandstanding bitch who didn't like her brother's abuse to the pussy.
345. Santa even brings gifts to gypsies.
344. BZ was a naughty boy when he was young.
343. Cornelia's parents didn't love her.
342. The Superdooperlooper is best performed with six raindeer.
341. The old lady at the beginning told the same story that she told last year.
340. Santa decided to diet after the release of Twas The Night Before Christmas
339. Kids with Reds baseball hats are jerks.
338. Patch's wagons are no match for schoolbuses, which for some reason run on Christmas Day.
337. The Northpole is the only place where people actually care about Seasons Greetings.
336. Mikey from Rocky needed 8 elfs to hold his beard.
335. All Street Santas are alcoholics.
334. Cocacola cans in the 80s just said Coke on them, and they make Joe burp loud.
333. Elfs don't use paintbrushes, they prefer to use their beards.
332. Joe dreams about pitching a nohitter for the Yankees
331. Donner is a huge wimp
330. Towzer thinks the next BZ's next product should be in liquid form and should be called "puse juice."
329. Joe is too proud to ask for a present.
328. Patch can play the organ.
327. Patch's candy is really useful when it comes to stealing cookies from hard reach cookie jars.
326. Raindeer themometers tell you when raindeer have the flu
325. inflatable boats make good beds for sick homeless boys
324. Patch doesn't know the candy canes explode
323. santa and Cornelia have great eye sight
322. you can't die from a flying car explosion. you won't even get a scratch
321. santa is a kidnapper
320. patch is the inventor of the alarm clock.
319. Joe ain't got a home.
318. Cornelia likes to go slumming.
317. That one kid's getting a toy fishing pole (Why not just get a real one?)
316. Towzer's nose is brown.
315. BZ hates pay role.
314. McDonalds in the 80s played great music.
313. Some elves continue to get old, such as the one with long beard, while others such as Patch stay baby faced.
312. Santa is the nicest man in the whole world.
311. Dudley Moore really was an elf.
310. That little b#### Cornelia beliddles Joe by calling him little boy.
309. BZ can make his face really Red.
308. This movie would have been better if Patch had been wasted the entire time.
307. The MetLife Building in New York used to be called the Pan Am building.
306. Even before Patch's diaster with the horribly made toys, Santa gave really sh*tty toys.
305. Santa only knows your name if you have a home.
share304. Puffy prefers brown Santa Suits.
303. Joe doesn't beleive in the Tooth Fairy.
302. Patch's bed in his flying car doesn't come close to being as comfortable as Santa's bed.
301. Mrs. Claus was so comfortable she didn't want to wake up.
300. Santa's TV at the North Pole was a piece of S###. (Shouldn't he have been delivering toys to kids in the far East rather than sitting on his fat A## watching TV)
299. Santa is so tired after Christmas that he likes to pass out in his split pea soup.
298. All evil toy company executives have a stash of magic candy canes in their desk drawer.
Aww I love how this thread picks up around Christmas every year. ^_^
297. Every Christmas Eve we are part of a miracle...
296. Elves can't make soup without Mrs. Claus interfering and chucking random herbs in.
295. And it's her fault some kids don't get presents.
The mirror... it's broken.
Yes, I know. I like it that way. Makes me look the way I feel.
294. Patch drinks because he is not a poet.
293. Joe is the only homeless kid that believes in Santa.
292. Believing in Santa is not good for your Street Rep, Beleiving in him will cause you to get beat up and thrown into chainlink fences. This is also true when it come to ballet class.
291. The green wagon was a piece of crap. No one wants a wagon for Christmas anyway Patch.
290. The baby faced elf that appears for just a split second at the beginning of the movie S#cks big time. Major dummie.
289. Patch should of modernized the factory to make Wii's instead... or for the sake of the 80's Cabbage patch kids and transformers.
288.That parents find it perfectly normal to find strange toys under the Christmas tree, when they don't believe in Santa.
287. Reindeer have fury noses... not black and red ones like the ones in those damn clay-mation specials.
286. If Reindeer's have fury noses, then what the hell was wrong with Rudolph to make his red and shiny?? Male pattern Bladness and a skin irritation?
285. Towzer is an insignificant schleper
284. Puce is a bit like purple but with a shade less lavender and a bit more pink.
283. McDonald's had great tie-ins that year because I still have the official reindeer ornament from the movie hanging on my tree. :)
shareSorry if these have already been mentioned:
282. Even Patch likes reindeer food.
281. The Statue of Liberty is a pretty lady
280. It's not going too fast! Welcome to the 20th century!!!
279. This movie looks HORRIBLE in Pan and Scan! Choose WIDESCREEN ONLY!!!
278. The children love their uncle Claus!
277. The litte girl in the beginning doesnt like her wooden toy!
276. Making other elves take care of the reindeer is the elf thing to do!
275. More children need their toys on the other side of the forest!
274. Coke cans were a hell of alot bigger back then.
273. After many years of watching this film, i still have a slight belief that Santa Claus is 105% real.
New rule: Tulips aren't flowers. They're some kind of gay onion
272. Santa Claus poops standing up and pees sitting down
share271. Towzer doesn't believe in Santa becasue he is Jewish.
270. Patch's disappearing really screws with drunk hobos.
269. All homeless kids wear gloves with the fingers cut out of them.
266. I would have been really mad if I got an elf portrait for Christmas.
265. That Dudley Moore is not as fun when he's sober.
264. That's it's perfectly acceptable to just casually abduct little kids and keep them at the north pole for a year.
263. That Santa is REMARKABLY tolerant at the idea of tear assing all over the globe giving presants to every single child in existance. All that work would piss me off.
262. I would have been really pissed off if I asked for a Voltron and Transformers and got a wooden elf.
261. That Santa cares only about quantity and not quality.
260. That Santa obviously doesn't understand the emotional turmoil he puts the reindeer through with his Super Duper Looper. Or maybe he does and he just doesn't give a *beep*
259. That Joe has a really strange way of whistling.
258. That Santa is awe-inspiringly naive if he truly thinks that EVERY child on Earth is "bursting with joy and happiness" on Christmas eve. I wonder how he'd feel when he found out that many kids don't even know who the hell he is or don't care because they're sick, starving, abused, homeless and dying.
If you expect the unexpected doesn't the unexpected then become the expected?
257. BZ will make sure that it never happens again.
256. Patch is entirely elf-taught.
255. BZ hates payroll with a passion.
256. Girls that don't have parents are not allowed to get babydolls that say full sentences.
257. BZ can breath in outer space. He can also make it through the atmosphere no problem.
258. BZ looks like a pimp in that baller fur coat.
253. That Santa has as much idea of modern aerospace laws as the Chipmunks do.
Obi-Wan is my hero!
470. McDonald's & Coca Cola clearly paid for the movie to be made
469.That's not how we do it here!!!!
468. Santa can't slow his sleigh down to save an about-to-explode flying car, he needs the Super Duper Looper
467. It's the cookies...definitely the cookies
489. When B.Z. is intrigued, he drools on his tie.
Poorly Lived and Poorly Died, Poorly Buried and No One Criedshare
254. The American dream also applies to elves
253. Dont worrie, next time your stuck in a blizzard, elves will take you to a secret place that makes toys and will make you santa clause
254. Child services are completely unaware of a minor living out on the street-homeless-in the middle of winter.
Fat People Are Harder To Kidnap
252. The world is no place for an elf.
251. It's Santa's fault if a wagon can't endure being run over by a bus.
250. Nobody ever goes to the basement.
249. The trick to doing the super duper looper is using 6 tired reindeer instead of 8 rested ones.
248. Most kids weren't as spoiled as kids now and were happy with a single simple gift.
Merry Christmas!
[deleted]
245. Santa doesn't want campaign promises, he wants results.
243. Elves don't like having their beards tugged when being used as paintbrushes.
242. Santa and Mrs. Claus sleep in a cupboard.
241. The elves in the middle of the Season's Greetings dance have to merely spin round on the spot, as they don't have room to dance like all the other elves.
240. Elves routinely share beds without changing the bedclothes.
The mirror... it's broken.
Yes, I know. I like it that way. Makes me look the way I feel.
239. Patch can play a piano with hhis elbow
238. he also invented the snow globe
237. As well as central heating
236. Despite having lived at the north pole for 100's or 1000's of years, Santa has a knowledge of the 24 Hour clock
235. optical telescopes can be made out of wood
234. Santa has never had a holiday
233. Before setting off in the ill-fated Patchmobile, Patch tells Joe to put the seat belt on
232. According to the end credits, no elves where harmed whilst filming the production
231. Santa allows 10/11 year old girls to drink.
230. BZ took evil laughing lessons from Goldfinger
229. despite being married to Anya, Joe is Santa's only friend
228. From what we see, there are no toilet facilites at the north pole
227. If you do not like Stew or Pea Soup, then you're going to die of starvation.
226. After being bored for 1000's of years, elves come up with a dol that wets.
225. Raindeer can fly with very little notice on emergency rescue missions
224. For Santa to cover every house on christmas eve, he must do an average speed of 8,000 MPH.
223. Being large enough, Santa should appear on Radar screens, and yet no aircraft are scrambeld to intercept.
222. depressed elves are lacking in elf-confidance
221. IT'S CHRISTMASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ALL OVER THE WORRRRRLLLDDDD TONIGHT!
220. Santa's TV is only an old balck and white set AND can pick up a perfect signal.
[deleted]
222. The best present for a kid that has no home, no food, and only a thin leather jacket to keep him warm in the winter is a wooden elf portrait.
share221. It's perfectly common for Santa to teleport into your bedroom, after which you will cry 'It's you!' and rush into his arms.
220. Despite the immortality of the elves, one of them is somehow ancient.
219. After you mention two verbs, it's useful to mention them again in reverse order.
218. Before Patch became Santa's assistant in the 80s, no toy had ever broken before. Ever.
217. John Lithgow gets horny over 'big rum drinks.'
216. If you replace the word 'self' with the word 'elf,' it will make complete sense and retain the original meaning in any given sentence.
215. The best way for a corporate executive to appeal to children is by appearing in a sleazy business suit and smoking a cigar.
214. The flight of Santa's reindeer is powered by hallucinogens.
213. The best way to end a film is by having the orchestra play a climactic chord and then show John Lithgow flying out into space.
212. You can make literally anything out of wood.
share208. The same director of Supergirl and this makes corny movies.
207. Some elves look like perverts.
206. Flash a red light on the villains face to show he's mad while yelling fffffor free!
205. Reindeer have goofy eyballs.
204. Black men raise their eybrows when eating McD's.
203. The German trailer is hilarious.
202. Santa is also Kevin Arnolds Grandpa.
201. I don't like orphans.
200. (Have to mention again) Santa leaves an orphan alone for a year.
199. Many posters on this thread can't count.
198. Patch isn't a fairy, he's an elf.
197. Many posters on this thread can't spell reindeer.
196. Towser is an insignificant schlepper.
195. Many posters on this thread don't read the whole thread and end up repeating ones already listed.
194. Green just isn't santa's colour.
Grey Fox: A cornered fox is more dangerous than a jackal!
193. Joe doesn't listen very well. Santa told him to tell Donner "it's okay"; not "hey, like, uh, don't sweat it, you did your best, ya know?"
share192: Santa did a dry run for 9/11 - clock the sleigh heading for the WTC, so he engineered it (LOL)
Author of RESURGENCE and OPERATION ASTUTE, available at www.lulu.com/resurgence
191. That magic, flight-enabling candy is stable in lollipop form but dangerously explosive in candy cane form.
share190. Burgess Meredith would have made a convincing Gandalf if he had lived (and Sir Ian McKellen wasn't available)
share189. Don't explain things to BZ in short sentances, making him answer 'Uh-huh, Uh-huh' like some kinda damn moron!
188. The elves could make fishing rods and toy pianos out of wood, or they have injection molding machines that no-one sees!
187. There's a TV shop in the North Pole.
186. 3 elves share one bed.
185. in the 80's Kids walked in the the middle of a busy road with red carts full of leaves, unsupervised by their parents!
184. In the ghetto, black peaople play basketball on Christmas Day.
183. Homeless kids get all the nourishment they need from sticks of chewing gum.
182. Masterpiece Theatre sounds *beep*
181. The 1980s were a great decade
share180) There appear to be no girl elves, so chances are there will be no more elves.
179) If a homeless kid is hiding in your house, instead of turning him over to social services, tie him up in your factory. Otherwise he might tell everyone you're plotting to destroy Santa Claus.
178) Reminding another kid that she has no parents (so nyah!) might clinch your argument about the quality of Santa's toys, but it will also get you girl slapped.
177) Wealthy little girls are attracted to homeless little boys.
176) Private schools give 9 year olds Latin homework over the Christmas holidays. And they will wear their uniforms while doing it.
175) You can hear the music just as well from the table.
174) Patch also invented pipes.
173) Broken glass and nails inside dolls made for three year olds are not a laughing matter.
172 that I share my birthday with santa (or at least, the guy who played santa.)
'If you make Sen cry, I won't like you anymore.'
171. Old women who tell stories to groups of Children in cozy huts repeat stories they've told last year.
170. Doing a loop-de-loop past the object you are chasing to then catch it again makes sense.
169. Santa has a weight problem and doesn't like greens (green isn't his colour)
168. If you are old enough to grow a ten foot beard there will be Elves around to carry it for you.
167. All the original Christmas songs in this movie didn't catch on.
166. Mcdonalds and Coke sponsor Christmas
165. Patch doesn't mind putting hundreds of factory workers out of work before Christmas.
164. Parents will kick broken presents into the road in disgust for something they didn't pay for.
163. Reindeer don't like heights.
162. Santa can pause time on Christmas day apparently but yet everywhere he goes people go about their business at normal speed.
Merry Christmas everyone!
161. Santa is The Dude! Or am I confusing him with someone else? ;)
share160. Mrs Claus KNOWS green is not Santa's color. Patch knows red is
159. Reindeer ears' muscles provide that they can double as eye covers
158. Letters to Santa about tortured cats deliver themselves
157. Elves aren't truly elfin when it comes to height
156. Coca~Cola makes the indigent belch
155. Someone enjoys Master Piece Theatre too much
154. Santa took exception to 'like a bowl full of jelly' the year it was penned
153. Pabst Blue Ribbon tastes better out of a brandy snifter
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