I'll start them off.
1. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
2. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
3. Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
4. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take *beep* from anybody.
5. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals that Chuck Norris allows to live.
Q. How far can you Chuck Norris? A. You wouldn't get close enough to try!
I'm hungry - you buy lunch!
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Ever!
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.