One of the Top 5 (Unintended) Homoerotic Moments in Cinematic History

My wife who’s watching the movie with me turns and stares at me for a while. She giggles and then says, “If his shorts were any shorter, he'd be able to hit you with an uppercut using his penis.” And then she says, “But, that scene was kinda gay, right?” I laughed at her first comment, but then hesitate for a moment on her second comment, because I really don’t recall this scene being nearly as gay when I saw it when I was a kid so many years ago. I had to agree, yup, that’s mighty gay right there. I understand that it's a cause for celebration, and God knows I have an undying love for the Rocky films, but sometimes even the people you love need to be told ‘No'.

You know what scene I’m talking about, right? Because after spending the first two films sweatily clutching one another in the ring, in Rocky III they met where most gay couples meet: in the gym. Throughout the third film, Appolo calls Rocky "Stallion." And then, of course, there is the beach scene in Rocky III when the duo is so elated that they run into the ocean clad in uncomfortably tight shorts, hugging and splashing one another in one of the most uncomfortable slow motion grab-ass sessions ever committed to film. This leaves me questioning on who decided to put grown men in crop tops? At what point in the eighties did men, who were proud of their bodies, think to themselves, "Well, the short shorts are okay. I am athletic, after all, and I have good legs. Hell, even the moustache looks manly, as only a man could grow such finely groomed facial hair. Wait! I have fantastic abs. Why on earth aren't these bad boys on show? Hmm... if only I could find some kind of t-shirt which would draw attention to my perfect stomach... Aha! There's my girlfriend's top, that'll do. No one will ever question how it looks, because they'll know I could snap them in two like a twig. Away I go!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JGSKjvpfBY