He is right in that a double standard is not in practice as far as the law, as much as I believe there should be one. We think of men as predatory, which is true more of the time, and women as victims, and there is a definite asymmetry between an older man having sex with a teen-aged girl (where we think of the girl as being used and exploited) and an older woman having sex with a teen-aged boy (where the boy would usually give his eye-teeth to be in that situation). Frankly, I don’t think the potential for harm is that present in the latter case, and women should not be held as liable.
The potential for harm is there, period. I think you're arguing for a "double standard" in the form of judgement/sentencing based case-by-case, rather than by gender.
Meaning, if the minor is unwilling, unconsenting, coerced, guilty, suicidal, disturbed, unhappy, predisposed towards sexual proclivity towards someone far younger etc etc etc then the harm is done. And the sexual contact between the adult and the child may be at root cause. Thus, is presumably something we'd want to control. Whether the hurt is a girl or a boy. And whether the predator is a man or a woman. Correct?
Otherwise, you just change the laws to allow more contact between woman and boys and disallows similar contact between men and girls, regardless of the actual issues caused by the contact, based on gender-based preconception. Instead of taking the time to examining each instance of sexual contact.
Every coming-of-age boy is eager to get a notch on his belt, and every sexual experience with the opposite sex will almost certainly aid in his development. Sure, there are also coming-of-age girls who yearn for sex as well, as with the Brad Pitt example cited earlier, but our sexist societal mores dictate girls should be better protected. These are simply facts of life.
Not exactly facts. Actually, there are
plenty of apprehensions and issues some teenage boys have and can be exacerbated whether they are "seduced" at 10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 20, whenever...
you may like the fantasy; some boys do not.
Those are the actual facts. "Fact" is a significant word, so wield it accurately lest you deny the existence of some boys, who, in fact, deserve societal protection or consideration given their level of maturity, mental health, whatnot...
"But, suppose instead of being seduced by the housekeeper, suppose Philly was seduced by the butler (male). Still think everything is fine?"
This is not a proper analogy. As much as homosexuality is no longer regarded as the stigma it once was, we are not yet at the stage of utopian society in America where homo-sex is regarded as equal to hetero-sex. Of course, the man would be seen as more predatory, as all men already are observed, and especially in the case of homosexuality, would be regarded as corrupting an impressionable youth. Unless the youth is already gay, however, the tendency for most coming-of-age boys would be to opt for the vaginas, and the potential for harm here is not at all equitable with the case of an older woman sexual situation.
Well, first of all, its not an analogy. It's a supposition.
The proposal for harm is in the coersion. Sexual confusion. Guilt. Shame. Etc.
If a woman pressures a homosexual teen into contact, that can really bother the teen as well. Similarly to a man pressuring a future-het 12-year-old boy.
It ain't all enthusiastic, wise-beyond-their years 15-year-olds with considerate Sylvia Krystals we're dealing with here. You should review some of the ongoing issues of male victims of coerced sexuality by men and by women; its frequently
exacerbated by what you are categorizing as a sort of harmless, healthy hormonal enthusiasm.
All of which is not to deny your point that sure, its probably not as big a deal to most teenage boys to get with the housekeeper as it is for teenage girls to get with the butler (or vice versa). But you're arguing to deny that its a significant issue at all (if its a boy). Yet the facts about boys becoming sexually active with adults, or quite young don't point to it being harmless...so I don't buy your argument that it is. Your logic seems to be based on presumption that "because we all pretty much think it is harmless, right?"
Well, wrong. It can be harmless, sure. Alternately, it can be harmful though. The law/system, imperfect as it may be...is to deal with the cases of harmfulness. To allow more harm to come to some teen boys in this situation, for the sake of sex with adults is for what benefit, exactly? What's the tradeoff? "Sure, now a few more boys will get abused...but other boys will be allowed to have more nonabusive sex with adults so it's worth the change!" isn't compelling reasoning.
question is, is it fair to make criminals of women who have sex with teen-aged boys?
And I would see the logical answer to be "not always, but sometimes."
The law isn't set up that way. But then again, the law isn't set up to allow for all sorts of rationalizable (or victimless) crime. Law is more of a broadsword than a scalpel. Maybe we do need more of a system set up to work a case-by-case basis...but "the system" is as jammed and tricky and inefficient as it is already...not sure if that's the highest priority issue with the legal system to fix first. In a perfect world though, sure. It would be great if everyone knew how to process the 15 year old unhurt by some lessons by Sylvia Krystal differently than the 12 year old hurt by some pressure from the butler...
I’d first like to make the point that a 15-16-year-old boy would not need much persuasion to have sex with an older woman, and probably would be doing more of the persuading
Unless upon examination this was not the case. In which case you've allowed your certain 15 year old to get hurt...if you blanket-statement say that it
must be welcome and healthy for this minor to be having sex with that adult caregiver...if the minor is male and the caregiver is hot and female.
I think your concluding requote about the 15-year-old's pleasure being sinful with an adult woman kind of obfuscates the whole purpose of the law(s) and my original argument; it's not about the 15-year-old being sinful, period.
It's about some 15-year-olds being innocent, unprepared, and damaged. The laws aren't there to judge the minor for sinfulness; they are there to redirect
the adult away from unhealthy predation.
You don't seem to acknowlege the uneven level of maturity and responsibility that gets assigned with adulthood. Teachers and parents and people in power can easily get toddlers to do just about anything, fairly enthusiastically too, given the right rewards etc. That use/misuse of influence and power doesn't disappear when the toddler is 12, or even when they're 18. But the line is drawn somewhere, and for a legitimate reason.
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