Please make a remake
Wow this aged badly. We need a friggin remake. Rian Reynolds as Willard and Josh Brolin as Kurtz. Thoughts?
shareThere's a new final cut.
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MovieChat Forums > Apocalypse Now (1979) Discussion > Please make a remake
In what ways do you think this film has aged badly?
shareMichael Bays Apocalypze Nowz:
Wahlberg as Willard. Vin Diesel as Kurtz. Rock as Kilgore. Tyrese Gibson as Clean. MeganFox as the head Playboy Girl (who goes along with them to see Kurtz). Shia as Dennis Hopper. Alden Ehrenreich in the HFord cameo
Lots and lots of CGI!!!
Willard and Kurtz in an epic 20 minute laser sword battle!!!
Dodging bullets with catlike swiftness in slow motion. Scene at the end this time has the bomb dropped and a huge CGI mushroom cloud goes up and Willard Is walking away without even twitching.
shareAnd of course we have lots of "angry black" soldier stereotypes, maybe have the Chief say in the most over the top acting "what kind of fuuuucked up mission is this?"or when the natives throw arrows at them he goes "you better not scratch my motherf-ckin boat or you and me are gonna have words bitch".
Or when one of the helicopters crash one of the soldiers turn to Kilgore and goes "woa man they just f-cked up your chopper"
Or maybe make Lance gay and Willard tells him he can't surf because they have to leave and then Lance goes "uh no surfboard, did they tell Picasso no brush"
Or maybe after Willard tells the crew about the mission he goes "look at the man next to you, one of you will not make it back from this mission, now who is with me?" And then they all start marching forward and the most over the top patriotic music starts playing.
Or in the very end Chef calls in the airstrike and as Willard is trying to escape the first bomb lands right in front of him but instead of killing him it just throws him into the air and he lands in the river without a scratch on him.
And of course we need to have a love triangle between Lance, Chef and Miss Playmate of the Year.
Haha! Damn funny right there. The original just did not have enough females in important roles. I say Kurtz should be female and played by a big woman like Oprah or Rosie O’Donnell or for that matter, how about the entire boat crew be from that bitchy talk show that has Whoopi’s Goldberg and a lady that looks like Bette Midler. I can’t remember that shows name !
shareYeah I think you are thinking of The View. But yes the entire cast should be replaced by either: A) Gay men, B) Transgenders or C) Females.
Except for the characters who are meant to not be respectable such as the photojournalist he should be played by a White Male, along with the people who assign Willard the mission who don't understand the horror the soldiers face in the field and they just sit in their nice comfy chairs drinking beer and eating steak while they order poor, innocent people to go out and die, those are definitely going to be played by White Men.
No thank you, they'll fuck it up like all remakes.. leave this classic alone..!
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