Riffs, anyone?

I'm kind of surprised this movie never made it to "Mystery Science Theater 3000." It certainly isn't terrible, but it's still perfect riffing material. They really should put it on "RiffTraxx" if they haven't already.

Anyway, here's a few riffs of my own. Feel free to pitch in!


[during the diamond-like eclipse of the sun] (in a British accent) "Elizabeth Taylor. White Diamonds."

[showing the owl for the first time] "Give a hoot! Don't polute!"

[during Frank's first appearance] "Gilligan called. He wants his shirt back."

Steve Buckner: The forest will provide for us.
Riff: And you'll all provide for the forest.

Tucker's Wife: Tucker, I don't like going down without you.
Riff: "I know. I don't like going down without me too."

[as the characters walk beneath the hawk] *crapping noises*

[showing the owl the second time] "Mister Owl! How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a TOOTSIE Pop!"

[showing the owl a third time] "Let's find out! One, two-hoo, three... *crunch* Three."

[shows the vulture] "Oh no-ho-ho, no-ho-ho, no-ho-ho, I don't... I don't want to..."

[showing the little girl at the river near Frank] Good thing he's not in a cornfield, or he'd be screwed.

Professor Taylor MacGregor: [about an empty beer can] What I wouldn't give for one of these right now!
Riff: Yeah, because, you know, when you're dehydrated, it's best to drink plenty of alcohol.

[showing the cougar for the first time] "Boy, I hope there's a hot young guy down there!"

[Tucker takes out the chicken] "Ah, this should tide me over 'til breakfast."

[showing the bear for the second time] "Excuse me. Which way to the woods?"

Beth: [about a helicopter] This is wonderful!
Riff: "I'm gonna love living in here!"

[when the bird attacks Mandy] "Whoa, whoa, chill out, lady! I'm trying to let go! My feet are caught in your hair!"

Paul Jenson: I'll call you any damn thing I like!
Riff: "So what now, Mister Any Damn Thing I Like?!"

Tucker: Hey, dog!
Riff: "I ain't yo dawg, dawg!"

[following Mandy's death] "A traveling matte fell to her death earlier today in what police are calling etc..."

Bob: Jenson! I'll kill you!
[Bob gets stabbed] "Or... the other way around..."

[as Paul Jenson takes on the bear] "Ah cemere, ya big lug! I missed ya!"

[showing the dogs running to the cabins] (in a British accent) "Pardon us, but did you see a little red fox run through here?"

Tucker: Sally, get me a slice a that apple pie, and throw some ice cream on it.
Riff: "In fact, just bring me the whole pie and tub of ice cream."

[rats appear on the turkey] Huh. Willard must be in town.

Professor Taylor MacGregor: Millions of years ago, there were no animals. Just insects and reptiles.
Riff: Wait a minute... he's a biologist and he doesn't know that insects and reptiles are animals?

[soldiers in hazmat suits appear] Oh, great. That little girl's gonna think aliens caused all this now.

[the canteen is thrown] They couldn't have refilled that somewhere?

[showing the tarantula] Oh, please... what's a tarantula gonna do to them? Startle them to death?

[showing the snakes] "Samuel L. Jackson. 'Snakes in a Car.' Rated R."

"Just repeat to yourself, 'It's just a show; I should really just relax.'"