MovieChat Forums > The Van (1977) Discussion > Things We Learned from The Van (1977)

Things We Learned from The Van (1977)


1. No matter what make of van you own, the song "Chevy Van" is self-identifying.

2. A van can turn even the biggest loser into a sex machine.

3. A chick's hotness is directly proportional to her attraction to a van owner. (see #2)

4. There ain't a woman around who don't love the sound of a zipper comin' down... (see #3)

5. Van customizing was up 8000% for the year 1977, scientists predict if this trend continues, by 2020 everyone will own a van, they will be 1000 feet long and contain features like regulation basketball courts, disco studios, and roller skate shops.

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LMAO!!

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6. A built-in toaster is a cool thing to have in a van.

7. Guys who work at a car wash can afford (in payments) a fully customized new van.

8. If you own a van, always wear van related t-shirt.

9. It helps to have an imaginary twin brother called Rupert so you can blame all the bad stuff you did on him.

10. Your mom will think it's cool that you have a waterbed in your van. And she will even want to lie in it.

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11. If you like a girl, but she's resisting your advances, the way to get into her pants is to kidnap her from a restaurant, force her into your van, and threaten to drive off a cliff.

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[deleted]

12.) Nobody calls Dugan Hicks a turd.

I'm a totally bitchin' bio writer from Mars!

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13. Having a big bag of water in the back of your van won't roll out the back on heavy acceleration and even though it sloshes around and weighs a ton is still conducive to racing.

14. An ugly dude with an ugly van could get layed in '77..



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15. Don't ever proposition a girl based on her face alone....get a look at her whole body first.

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16. Driving any vehicle, van or not, always looks better when you smile constantly.

17. It's okay to get it on with another chick a day or two before you profess your love to another chick.

18. Most cops are stupid, and won't arrest you for racing, flippinig your van, getting into a chase, etc etc etc.

19. Some people do in fact eat pizza at 9am.

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20. A hat pin is an effective tool to extract someone wedged in a vehicle.

21. It's important for proud van owners to announce their arrival with a trumpet fanfare.

22. If the young woman of your choice has been resisting your advances all movie long, just take her to a custom van show and she will immediately smile and hold your hand.

23. After signaling the start of a drag race, it's ok to exit by running wildly in front of one of the racing vehicles.

24. Some co-workers just can't take a joke.

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25. Van life the 1970's ment something entirely different than Van life in the 2020's.

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26. Waterbeds in vans is a bad idea.

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