Things We Learned from The Van (1977)
1. No matter what make of van you own, the song "Chevy Van" is self-identifying.
2. A van can turn even the biggest loser into a sex machine.
3. A chick's hotness is directly proportional to her attraction to a van owner. (see #2)
4. There ain't a woman around who don't love the sound of a zipper comin' down... (see #3)
5. Van customizing was up 8000% for the year 1977, scientists predict if this trend continues, by 2020 everyone will own a van, they will be 1000 feet long and contain features like regulation basketball courts, disco studios, and roller skate shops.