This film's detractors appear to be hopelessly dense

Yeah, one of the most critically praised. Do some research and you'll see that every major critic sang it's praises upon release. Additionally, it was nominated for numerous Oscars.

Once you see how acclaimed the film was (and is) you'll see why I don't feel the need to defend it. Still, I don't mind saying that I hold the film's writing, acting and directing in the highest regard. It's insightful, compelling, rich with characterization and even contains a good amount of biting social satire, much of which is so darkly comical that I chuckle about elements of the movie days after watching it. To my way of thinking, this is one of the most dramatically, comedically, thematically and cinematically sound films of all time, which also remains poignant with each passing year... and it's astonishingly (and terrifying) how it's satirical elements seem increasingly realistic as time rolls on. It's a prophetic work by remarkably talented craftsmen (Chayefsky, Lumet, the cast, etc.) at the peak of their capabilities.

There. Happy?

I never even thought about how people spoke to each other in the movie. Not sure why it was so confounding for some.

Your first line is projection.

You're the stupid person. The reason why Network is hyped as so intelligent is that it was written for the dumb masses who were never educated or well read enough to see how how full of shit it truly is. Read some Jonathan Swift, Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde or Voltaire. Hell, read a Greek comedy or something, then come back to this movie and be embarrassed by how impressed you were by it. Go ahead. I dare you.