Only Crime Here is the Two Hours Stolen from My Life
I had never seen Murder on the Orient Express until last night - well, I had not missed anything all those years. What a bloated, boring, humorless film. A good mystery should make you want to know who the killer is, but I had no interest - and was even more disinterested when I found out.
How can such a great director like Sidney Lumet and such a great cast turn out such a dull film? Albert Finney and John Gielgud are the only actors whose performances really merit any attention. Ingrid Bergman, as wonderful an actress as she was, certainly did not deserve an Oscar for her role, especially in a year that saw the ladies of Young Frankenstein and Blazing Saddles - Teri Garr, Madeline Kahn, and Cloris Leachman - all of whom were more deserving than Bergman.
The film takes for ever to get going and once everyone is finally on the train, it just drags. Save your time and instead watch Murder by Death, Neil Simon's spoof of this very genre of mystery that is actually more entertaining, thrilling, and witty than anything in this train wreck.