sexual talk - Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore (1975) Discussion

[–] R-W-Watkins 15 years ago

I honestly can't remember the sexual talk to which you are referring. Could you be a bit more specific?

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[–] willydoe71 15 years ago

Tommy asks Alice if she is sleeping with Harvey Keitel's character. Alice asks Tommy if she looks "sexy" in her dress and new haircut, just for a couple of examples.

To the OP, I NEVER talked to my mom like that, and I grew up in the 70's and 80's (born in 71). I found it a little weird for them to be talking to each other like they were as well.

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[–] deadbunny28 14 years ago

well being raised without a father i can definitely relate to this story...at least in my case you form a different kind of bond with your mother that is really kind of a childlike friendship...i remember joking with my mother about similar things...

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[–] polysicsarebest 15 years ago

...?

K.

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[–] WarpedRecord 15 years ago

Movies aren't necessarily a true reflection of the era or country where they were made, but often more of a reaction to it. In the case of Alice and Tommy, the "sexual talk" you refer to was perhaps the result of a single woman who has been wronged by men raising an inquisitive young man on her own.

I don't think this was typical of parenting in the '70s – certainly not the way I was raised. But I think our country would be in better shape if more parents had "the talk" with their children at an appropriate age.

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[–] Connie_n_Raymond_Marble 14 years ago

Not all parent/child relationships are the same. I never asked my mom who she was sleeping with but the banter between Alice and Tommy didn't seem that shocking to me.

We'll see whose the filthiest person alive! We'll just see!

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[–] WarpedRecord 14 years ago

I also think that without a male role model, Tommy was basically winging it in that regard and had much more free rein to inquire about Alice's love life.

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[–] mrs_marrable 13 years ago

The story begins with a little Alice in the country singing and talking to herself. About how she is better than that Alice Faye. And makes a comment out loud, something like ...if they don't like it they can blow it out their _ss.
Tommy drove his father nuts with passive aggressive jokes and behavior. He punished Tommy with a belt when he could catch him. He punished Alice with silent treatments and indifference. So for a long time Tommy was her little man. After moving away, leaving his friends behind and Alice leaving her friends behind, both living in a motel room during the summer school break...Alice becomes Tommy's world, and he is her's, only until she finds something (anything) to help fill the void her husband left.
So, I can see for the purpose of storytelling she would tell Tommy she has to "go buy something sexy to wear." She would do that with her best friend back in NM. Tommy's response is only concern about her getting a job. He could care less what his mom wears.
He does ask about meeting Ben when Alice has spent several late nights out with him and gives his mom a bit of discomfort when he asks her if he should call him"Uncle Ben" giving the audience the impression (if they hadn't already picked it up) this is definitely a precocious young man.
Later on he asks his Mom if she slept with Ben. When Ben's young wife comes to their motel room to inform Alice that Ben is married and Ben busts in literally, waving a knife at his wife, kicking her out the door and makes a death threat to Alice after trashing her place. I don't find that an odd question for Tommy to ask...even circa 1974.

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[–] otakucode 11 years ago

It's not common any longer. This film was made in the 1970s, and things have changed since then. America went through a sexual revolution in the late 60s through about 1980. Also, before the 1990s children were raised to be mature and respected as people. As she says in the movie 'you'll be 12 tomorrow. You'll be all grown and able to do whatever you want.' It's quite an exaggeration to say he could do whatever he wants, but around 12 or 13 kids were expected to start taking on an adult mindset. Having a job, running around with your group of friends, and learning about life was pretty common for teenagers.

Today, parents do their best to avoid ever letting their children become adults. They pretend that no one before the age of 18 has any curiosity about sexual matters (or if they do they assume this is because the child was raped since they see this curiosity as completely unnatural). Teenagers have every single aspect of their life monitored, regulated, and controlled by adults. They are given as little unsupervised time as possible in order to prevent them from learning anything about life.

The character Tommy in the film was also supposed to be precocious or mature for his age. And he had a 'dirty mouth' because he talked around adults the way all 12 year olds talk around their friends. So he said a lot of things that most kids would not say around adults. Today, if a 12 year old asked their mother if she had slept with someone they would probably end up in therapy getting grilled about who abused them.

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